noobdoomguy8658

Your reasoning is solid, but you're not a KGB agent with a financially challenged background and extreme paranoia with likely assortment of other psychological -pathies that shape your entire worldview.

Also, Putin sure seems like someone who isn't planning escape routes or anything - he's burn everything and everyone around him, maybe even himself, if he had to give up power (which we've been witnessing for a while).

Even if he had to flee Russia and rely on stashed wealth and secret locations and whatever, he would have probably used another framework, not some already well-known American citizen that does finances.

We're not in the timeline to doubt anything, but Putin strikes me, a Russian living in Russia and closely following the politics at least of my own country, especially from the not-so-safe side, as someone who would not choose someone he can't control and have in his grasp to run anything like this.

Not to mention his paranoia, ego mania and the alleged financial skills that, again, allegedly let him win a lot of trust among the people de-facto making big decisions in Russia before he wriggled into presidency.

I don't doubt that Putin had dedicated financial managers at some point, it's just hard to belive it could've been anyone like Epstein, i.e. someone outside Russia or even Moscow where Putin could blackmail and hurt them or at least first treaten them into obedience, even with the eventual murder somewhere outside Russia (Litvinenko poisioning).

Not that nothing unexpected and hard-to-believe hasn't been surfacing for a while already, though.

RIP, thanks for the fun.

I used to do this when I delivered pizza.bMy phone wasn't playing well with the GPS because I had put a custom ROM on it that happened to be too much for the thing, plus aging, but the ROM was too good in every other aspect. So I just studied the map on the same computer we clicked through orders on, remembered my route, and in a couple of weeks I didn't even need to look at the map before going around our zone.

Still helps me navigate cities to this day, even now that I don't drive at all.

Although living in a post-Soviet country helps with city/road design, making it rather predictable in ways lol

You're forgetting the public transport availability, walkability, and facilities being part of the planning, i.e. the design was to include kindergartens, schools, hospitals, shops, etc., all not too far away to access on foot or a short commute that is regular and predictable and also easy to get to. Admittedly, it didn't always happen, but still resulted in more liveable cities and areas than many of the new neighborhoods being built today in the same cities.

I'm here to offer no answers, but a few fun activities that help me get out of that same mood. I feel you.

Play some DOOM WADs. It's December, the Cacowards are here, and it's a beautiful time of the year to play through some of the most revered levels and mods. Pretty pure if you remember that the original devs open-sourced the engine, the community then built many source ports and now continues to churn out all levels of quality of mods and levels.
Read some books. Feels bizarre and unusual these days to consciously choose something slower and ad-free and intentional, with nothing to interrupt you (per the power of the medium alone, alone). Not to mention the endless choice of genres and works to choose from. The bonus here is writing stuff yourself, which has a super low barrier of entry.
Play THE FINALS. It's been going well for over 8 seasons now and offers the most unique FPS experience so far with its core gamemode and some twists on staple mechanics. As a long-term Counter-Strike player and a massive FPS enjoyer, this one is a breath of fresh air in so many ways.

That's on top of other wonderful suggestions in this thread.

But I think the most important would be to learn when to slow down and step away from the attention- and data-hungry apps and sites and whatever.

I just wanna say hi, and I remember those days, too.

For a long time, I couldn't understand people saying they hate the Internet or their phone or anything like that, because I had been having a blast for so long and thought it was one of the most vibrant, fun, educational and useful part of my life that has taught me a lot.

But at some point I found myself scrolling the same site for hours, trying to tear my eyes off screen and telling myself that I wasn't enjoying myself and that I should stop, but I just couldn't. That's when I finally understood.

I try to bring back intention to this. I think what I want to do online first before I do it -- what topic to look for when I want to watch a video, what kind of news or discourse I want to read, what's that on my mind that I want to share. Talking to my peers, I often feel like this kind of approach has long been lost to not thinking for yourself and wanting entertainment to just sort of happen to you, predict what you want, guess.

Big money figuring out the Internet has been a very bad thing.

Not appreciated here!

I'm going to give you no source for this, but power users are not the people that big tech usually extorts for money and data that easily, not compared to the most of the clientele, and that's not something that makes the line go up -- sometimes the power users manage to educate the non-power users on how to be more of a nuisance to the company, too, which also does not contribute to the line very well, and we all know that MBA considers this treason, theft and punishable by death.

Fuck Google and all, but don't dismiss used tech like that. There's absolute bangers out there going for prices that shouldn't be reasonable for the value you get out of them with proper software.

Like ThinkPads and Linux, although worse and not entirely semiofficial.

Both of your comments are a testament to why I love the new Doom games -- they're different and don't seem to be meant to be enjoyed by every fan, every release, every time.

Apart from the first two games (and Doom 64 for that matter), each offers different gameplay and feel and it's so, so beautiful.

I feel lucky having a blast in each one. Doom 3 is my favorite, actually, especially with the vanilla flashlight (for the uninitiated: where you can either have your weapon out or the flashlight).

I have very similar feelings towards my memories. I'd like to tell you why and offer a solution that's been very transformative for me -- and even for those closest to me.

Writing them down is one of the best things you can do here. Maybe for yourself in general, but that's a different rabbit hole.

I'm approaching 30 and it's only for the past couple of years that I've been journalling things consistently. I started after stumbling upon a very old notebook that I used for all sorts of stuff: writing short bits of fiction, making small notes, processing my feelings, doodling, etc. Between that moment and the oldest entry passed maybe 5-6 years at the time -- and I was shocked to find out how much of that I had forgotten to a point that I felt a jolt reading about them; like a memory injected into my brain, suddenly and all at once.

I can't say every single one of them was pleasant, but over the years, each and every one of them felt valuable. I can't imagine what it would feel like to be reading about your past self from 10, 20, 30 years ago -- that's gotta be like reading about someone else entirely, but much weirder, because you know you're the same person.

Write that down. Don't overthink it -- don't look for systems, don't optimize, don't make it pretty. Just write, and in time, you'll find the way that works for you the most.

And backup. You're one accident away from losing years or decades worth of your life's most dearest memories. If you write by hand, either take photos and back them up (multiple times, different mediums), or digitalize them and then do multiple backups as well. I am speaking from experience.

Kaneda... What do you see?

-- Searle, Sunshine (2007)

spoiler

The movie is about a crew flying a starship to our Sun, which is rapidly dying because of a Q-Ball -- some thing that I'm sure was proven to exist but that strips away protons from atoms. They're on a mission to detonate an essentially experimental bomb there hoping it would be enough to get rid of the Q-Ball and essentially restart the nuclear fusion process, saving humanity.

As the mission is getting closer to the star, we see Searle in the observation room, toning down the filter to see the sun like he would never be able to on Earth. The safeguard protocols only allow him to see 3.1% of its true power given the distance, and not for long. His experience is almost ecstatic, spiritual. Next scene is him talking to his crewmates about the experience, recommending it.

The quote is what he asks his captain during an emergency repair, his skin showing signs of too much exposure to the sun, even through the filter.

He asks his captain, who had to stay behind during an EVA emergency repair, what does he see, as the ship is slowly turning to face the sun again, about to burn the captain to death.

This such a "call of the void" moment, although about something so clearly opposite of a void. A man slowly getting more and more obsessed with something so incomprehensible, getting so close to it, so far away from anything familiar. So obsessed that it's what he's pulled to ask from another man about to get properly obliterated.

The idea of every nation on Earth actually rallying behind a cause is such a romantic one.

I recently watched Arrival (2016) and teared up thinking about this. Probably because these days it seems to be the most fictious and implausible part of any plotline that has to deal with anything truly global.

I'm stilling rocking my GTX 1080 I bought in 2017, and when I had to switch the DVI cable for my smaller monitor, I had some fun looking for the thing. Partly because of how uncommon they've become... partly because there's a lot of them DVI types and I think I bought the wrong one the first time.

I've been thinking on how to answer that in a way that would satisfy you and encompass "Russian" properly, but I know I can't. So with a little preface, I'll just say what I feel and what I know some others feel from conversations and other evidence.

I've been born here several decades ago, after the collapse the USSR. A lot of my childhood happened during the times of uncertainty about which I have only been hearing and reading and watching and listening from others -- but now that I'm living in the times of historical uncertainty of my own, some aspects of which could even be worse because the factors that comprise the uncertainty are either more severe or larger, and with much more corporate and government surveillance, I realize that my childhood and teen years were probably one of the most free and prosperous and maybe even democratic periods of modern Russia (post-USSR collapse). I never much of a social person, fell in love with video games quite early, as well as computers and tech, and through them learned English, so mesmerized by the possibilities for entertainment that it provided that a lot of my consciousness for long existed mostly in the English-speaking parts of the internet, with the occasional necessary interactions with the (mostly) Russian-speaking real world outside -- often with the like-minded geeky people.

This combination made me a rather left-leaning or liberal individual -- I struggle to provide my proper ideological views because the politics here, in Russia, seem to have defined somewhat different criteria, so sometimes I find myself belonging to different groups depending on who I'm talking to: English natives (or near-natives, such as Swedes, Germans, etc.) or Russian natives. Thinking about it now, I realize that a lot of my musical tastes revolve around political or societal themes, but I don't know if that's because I grew such views thanks to places of the internet I frequented or it's the music that made me gravitate towards such places. It's a little more complicated because I remember being an active member of multiple seemingly opposite communities back in the day, which each from today seem incompatible, but ultimately probably contributed greatly to my tendency to not make enemies or label people easily.

That applies to both Russian music and otherwise. I don't listen to a lot of new music outside of synthwave probably, and the two most prominent Russian bands I would point out would be:

Кино / Kino
Гражданская Оборона / Grazhdanskaya Oborona (and Егор Летов / Yegor Letov's music in general), although not every bit of theirs is close to me

I've heard other artists and songs and I think I've liked a lot, but not enough to recommend or even remember much. My English-singing bands list is much larger.

Now, as to what it actually feels like being Russian -- to me, it's weird.

Growing up, I've been unwillingly consuming a lot of propaganda from the state about some grandeur and uniqueness of my country, although not about my ethnicity, to some degree repeated and distorted by its older victims. It has always felt weird and funny, because I've always seen the disdain from so many sides towards the government: how they're lying and lazy and incompetent and corrupt and leave the rest in poverty, etc.; this is probably why I developed some disdain to any calls for patriotism and national pride -- to me, it never made sense to be proud of something I had nothing to do with, like Gagarin's first trip to space or the literary achievements of Pushkin or Dostoevsky or Ostrovsky or many others (especially knowing how many writers and poets suffered for their works, only to be re-appropriated as a patriotic argument later).

At some point, when the Russian internet culture has matured and produced various branches and communities, I think I could say I felt some sense of belonging to some places. I don't think any of them have survived to this day, as the few that did have evidently changed -- I haven't been part of them for too many years to say whether that's for best or worse; although I'm glad to say that at least of them aligns with my views largely.

Seeing depictions of Russians in media has always felt just lazy, never offensive. I've seen a lot of people, talked to a lot of people, but never understood the stereotypes shown in media -- if they were based on Russians, these were probably not the same Russians living with me in the same country. The only two different examples I can think of now are Stranger Things and Anora, where I definitely felt something unique and new -- truly seen, exposed, familiar, as these finally managed to show people I could not only imagine I knew in Russia, but people that felt like someone I have actually encountered over the years. Bizarre, but in a good way.

I have a great command at English, something which is rare for the country in general, even rarer in my parts. In Russia, this is impressive, but dealing with foreigners, unless they somehow already know I'm Russian, this is nothing special -- in fact, it is somewhat expected where I often spend my time. Quite some dissonance.

It's been much less fun sharing where I'm from since 2022. Before it could spark some surprises, albeit offensive, like "You're not like other Russians", sometimes because of the language skills, sometimes because of behavior, etc. I don't feel bad because there's less favorable characters in my country and culture -- I am not excited to interact with them either; I do feel bad, however, when they kind of pre-determine how other people will see and approach me.

These days, in most environments I'm just hoping the question would never arise and nobody would put me into a trap of supporting their worldview and Russia's place in it, regardless of actual people's lives involved.

Often when I do interact with fellow Russians, I'm happy to see how much distrust they also have in the government. Most recent example probably being the Max messenger and how people just refused to have it on their devices, sharing tips to sandbox it if they absolutely must, like getting airgapped phones or setting up software sandboxes, etc. I hear people of 30-40 years installing VPNs for their parents to enjoy YouTube or Instagram (the latter's joy is arguable, but I digress). Taxi drivers often berate the government and everything it's in amusing ways that warm my heart. And it was eye-opening to actually interact with people supporting the anti-war candidates and efforts -- especially when some of them turned out to be the ones I know are not as progressive or open as I am, turning out to be just as pissed at some things.

There's things I like here, too, actually. I was sad and surprised to learn that I'm lucky to have as good of a public transport system (in most cases) and urban design compared to a lot of the more western nations -- I have been berating them almost out of habit before I learned how truly insane people have in that regard in some of the wealthiest countries. It's not Netherlands level, but I'm glad it's not Deutsche Bahn either (I've always loved trains and not once have I been late because of one, always on time). The weather and architecture have always seemed to have their own charm to me -- even if seemed gloomy and depressing at times. In my region, all four seasons are pretty vibrant and defined, which I think allows me to live out emotions more often and broader, even if we don't show them to strangers a lot. Early spring, when the snow is melting and can't bless me with its presence anymore, is the saddest for me, but sometimes that creates eerie mists and beautiful times to let some melancholy out.

I try to consume my media in English mostly, because the Russian translation and dubbing and interpretation scene seems to be in shambles. It's ironic because I thought I'd become a translator/interpreter -- it started as a joke said by one of my classmates during some English class, where the teacher has been giving us texts to translate, probably because she couldn't be bothered for more; thanks to video games, these classes were a breeze to me, and it felt good, so I actually went and got a BA for this thing, with flying colors or whatever it's called.

Never worked as a translator, not a day. Turned out to pay horribly, so I taught English to teens and kids for 2.5 years, with great success, but kept overworking myself for more money. I then spent almost an entire year working in a predominantly German team as a developer, among other Russian developers; the entire team spoke English, wrote English, kept documentation in English, etc. Then the company left a few months after the invasion and I spent some years in a smaller Russian company that gave out fake names to its employees and wanted everyone to hide their origin -- which was kind of fun at first because I had picked my fake name a while ago and was surprised to be using to make actual money, but I realized how fucked up it was at some point. Since I got laid off there, I joined a bigger Russian tech company and been working there since, missing the fun of collaborating with different nationals from Germany, France, Switzerland, Albania, Hungary, India, etc.

And that's just so little of it.

Power tends to attract people that should have none of it. And when there's anything in place that's supposed to keep this kind of people out, they find ways around it or to dismantle it and then get in anyway.

There's little special in the US government being shit today.

What's special is a government of a country as big and influential as that of the USA not being shit.

I don't know why you feel the need to assure a native Russian speaker of that, though.

It's fairly easy to read (provided good handwriting) and to tell what's what from the surrounding letters.

As for being a separate topic - that would be the case for other cursives as well. More so in German, where they actually have more than one cursive system (although I'm not sure if Kurrent is actually still around for me to be making that claim).

Russian is as unique as other European languages. No less, no more.

Russian Cyrillic here.

Yes, there are both upper- and lowercase letters. Most kinda look like the same letter.

Yes, there are serif and sans-serif fonts. I haven't noticed any difference in use between the Russian and the English alphabets in that regard -- serif is more prevalent in books and printed media, while sans-serif rules the digital (and maybe headings and headlines in printed).

As for the emphasis, the Russian alphabet and fonts (at least the popular ones) do support emphasis, like bold, italics, etc., but italics is used much less liberally. For example, I often see italics used in English to either make the reader emphasize a word or a phrase differently, or to make a name of a piece of fiction stand out (e.g. Dishonored vs Dishonored). I can't recall a single time I've seen the former being used in Russian, neither in fiction, nor on the Internet -- the only thing somewhat close to it would be in-universe letters or writings, but those are often put in their own paragraph with different margins and all.

The italics in the Russian digital fonts is not the same as the Russian or Cyrillic cursive, though. While the latter may be vastly different from the printed letters, varying by the age group (older generations have pretty different cursive from people my age, especially with some letters like the lowercase T), the former is basically the same style shift as in the Latin alphabets. For example:

Regular: Съешь же ещё этих мягких французских булок, да выпей чаю.
Italics: Съешь же ещё этих мягких французских булок, да выпей чаю.

As for the Russian cursive, I would say it's actually closer to the printed Russian than the English cursive is to the printed English. There are some letters that often tend to blend together in cursive, such as the lowercase И, Л, Ш, Щ, but with proper spacing, they're really easy to tell apart; especially given how they're not that often that close to each other in most sentences.

The cursive English lowercase F, on the other hand, or uppercase S, or lowercase R, for example, left me guessing the first few times I saw them.

So, the Russian, or the Cyrillic alphabets are pretty boring in that regard when compared to the Latin-based alphabets of Europe. The region may be vast and varied, but its peoples are still pretty close and similar to each other.

I don't stream.

I pirate like many in this thread, but I can't be arsed to set up a home server for music, especially not one I can connect to outside its local network.

Phones today have more storage than I need, I can load that thing up with all the music I want. If I need extra, there's SD cards. If I need even more, I can swap out and re-copy from my PC later.

noobdoomguy8658

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noobdoomguy8658

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