I don't count "spotless prosecutorial record" as a win, but given the two viable choices I'll take it over "shockingly successful fascist demagogue" every time, and twice on Sundays.
Serious mode for a moment: transpire typically means "to happen" or "to occur". The "to shed moisture or vapor" definition is now usually limited to discussions about plants (moisture) or the soul when speaking of death in a figurative manner.
Perspire means "to shed matter" but is most commonly used in reference to sweating. The reason that the term referring to "matter" as opposed to the one referring to moisture is preferred is likely due to the salt content in sweat.
Both words share the Latin base for "to breathe", spirare, which is also where we get expire, aspire, conspire, and even spirit.
Back to the joke: you were correct with the way you used transpire in your reply. I "miscorrected" it to make a pun that tied it back to sweat.
Do you mean the electors? Delegates are part of the nomination process, not the general election. The electors for a party are chosen by that party, then the voters cast votes for the electors. It's unlikely that electors pledged to third parties would be faithless, as they probably deeply identify with the party ideals.
Sounds like a case of the crayon-eater calling the mouth-breather stupid..