My grandpa ran over a woman who walked into the street late at night. There was no way for him to have avoided it. He did not get in trouble. This was in California.

Holy shit, how do you not know there’s hydrazine in the water?

It’s probably cheap soft steel made in China. You’re probably fine.

I used to get hella annoyed that my mom would be online all afternoon so I would pick up the phone and blow into it for a few seconds until I heard AOL man say “Goodbye.”

You know what, Stuart, I like you. You’re not like the other people, here, in this trailer park.

As an EndeavourOS user, this pleases me greatly.

Wear one then. Fuck all the haters.

It’s the loud part. When my partner starts screaming, the floodgates in my balls open almost immediately.

Of course!

Unless something glitches out and you end up being born on December 31, 1969.

Really? You mean you weren’t born in 1900 like I was?

Just make some shit up. You worked at McDonald’s in East Hanover New Jersey in 1976. You made $24 per hour and you approved of the CEO.

*IN CONCEPTS OF GRAND STRATEGIC PLAN

ftfy

Tell my wifi love her.

It will get in the moving parts, melt, caramelize, and seize the engine that way.

Sugar in the gas tank doesn’t do anything. You gotta put in the oil fill cap.

It is very easy to not see a motorcycle. Very easy. And due to the way our brains work, their small size can make us seem further away than we actually are.

It does help me mentally though. Sometimes the lies we tell ourselves help.

Most bikes are not bassy it’s mostly thumpers and harleys that are bassy. Just wait until you get passed by a bunch of squids on sport bikes with parallel twins and I4s, those are much higher, and represent a large percentage of the bikers out there.

Also, I’m grateful that my bike is loud. I don’t rev it to high hell though, but an additional sensory input for the fuckhead texting on the freeway is not a bad thing. A lot of people where I live (Seattle) don’t pay attention on the road and it’s pretty scary on a bike surrounded by them sometimes. Sometimes it is simply not possible to have a decent safety bubble when there’s traffic.

I remember back in the late 90s when casual gay slurs were the norm, I said something, I forget what, that implied that I’d beat up some dude who was gay. My dad told me “Just because he’s a slur doesn’t make him any less of a man who is more than capable of beating the living shit out of you”. That was an eye opener.