You need an emotional outlet. If crying doesn't work for you, perhaps some sort of art or music will. The simplest thing is to take an old pen and the back of some old printer paper and try to express your feelings in pen strokes. You don't have to draw anything. Just scribble. You could learn or relearn a musical instrument, master the wheel in a pottery class, or just go down in the basement and sing to the furnace while the dryer is running. Creative outlets and expression can be an excellent way to cry without crying. Maybe origami, or wood carving, or paper mache, or baking cupcakes. Embrace the creative and put yourself into it.