• 0 Posts
  • 15 Comments
Joined 2 months ago
Cake day: December 13th, 2024
  • girlthing@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoFemcel Memes@lemmy.blahaj.zone•bonkEnglish
    4·
    11 hours ago
    spoopy alien welcoming party!!

    I get it - I usually end up thinking about it in those terms.

    But then I remember - that’s also how I think about picking out clothes, or grooming, or most social interactions; basically, anything involving making an impression or fitting in.

    It was only once I discovered the trans community that I began to believe that being seen could actually feel positive; that belonging was something I could actually experience. I developed a hypothesis - maybe the way I was trying to be seen and to belong was the problem. It was the only way I was taught. But you’re here, all of you, learning to do it your way, and finding joy in it.

    I have not had the chance to test this hypothesis; I’m just trying to get by until I can. But I have come, over a long period of time, to believe it to be true.

    So - maybe you’ll have a moment like this, too! Maybe, at some point in your life, you’ll discover that an entire facet of human experience that you always thought just wasn’t for you… suddenly is.

    Or maybe you won’t, and that’s fine too! There are tons of other feels to feel and ways to be.

    (Don’t really know how to conclude this little spiel… do bear in mind that I’m mostly working out my own feelings here, so if it doesn’t make sense to you, feel free to take it with a grain of salt)

  • girlthing@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoFemcel Memes@lemmy.blahaj.zone•POV: You finally cleaned your room, and a friend is visiting!English
    4·
    6 days ago

    Just wanted you to know that you’ve started me on a QC marathon that has consumed my life. I’ve read like 3000 pages so far.

    On one hand, I was definitely using this to procrastinate and avoid critical tasks, and will be facing rather unpleasant consequences soon.

    On the other hand, reading multiple character arcs of shitty and/or fucked-up people getting their lives together (albeit in cute, orthogonal-to-reality sitcom fashion), and growing in really beautiful ways, has led me to reconsider my approach to life a bit. I might even try this ‘self-love’ thing everyone seems to be talking about. Can’t hurt, I guess.

    If you’ve actually read this far - I’m taking suggestions on how to start! (If you don’t have any, that’s cool; thanks for reading my rant anyway.)

    In summary - I fucked up again but it might have been worth it. Chaos Theory Butterflies 🦋. Insert obscure QC in-joke here.

  • girlthing@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoTransfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone•...English
    0·
    8 days ago

    Not a detransitioner specifically, but I am stuck in the closet for the forseeable future, so we might have some things in common 🥲

    While I am not exactly a shining example of happiness and success, I have at least managed not to die by my own hand so far, which is not nothing, I guess.

    There are basically two things that keep me going:

    1. As long as I’m still here, I can fight.

    The systems that keep me in the closet do not just oppress me, they oppress most of the world. Which means that there will always be people to fight alongside. Even if trans liberation isn’t their direct goal. Even if I have to hide my transness from them.

    I may never become who I’m meant to be. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t still things worth doing. Everything counts.

    1. I still have hope.

    Consider that people during the Cold War lived in very justified fear of global nuclear armageddon. If I had lived through those times, I would never have believed that despite decades of fingers hovering over self-destruct buttons, the world would still survive. And yet, here we are.

    I don’t know how, but maybe we’ll survive this apocalypse. Maybe someday it’ll be safe for me to transition. I intend to stick around to find out.

    Good luck, and I wish you the best, fellow traveller. I’ve written on a similar note in another thread, maybe you’ll find it helpful: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/21727800/12811429

  • girlthing@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoFemcel Memes@lemmy.blahaj.zone•wakes up from nap - swipes away notifications - goes back to sleep - forgets about it entirelyEnglish
    1·
    12 days ago

    Have you considered a third option: Being paralyzed by grief and dread over the ongoing apocalypse. Too far removed from it to directly fight back, and yet the world in which you could see a future for yourself is slipping away. Unable to do any of the things you SHOULD be doing to improve your material situation, because what’s the point if you’ll die without ever getting to live as yourself, to experience even the basic sense of belonging with people like you that will get cis people through this

    …and also not texting anyone back, because nobody in your life knows, and you’re dependent on people who are known to be phobey, and you’d lose whatever fragile social capital you still have thanks to male privilege and hiding all the ugly nonconformant parts of yourself, and how are you supposed to talk about netflix shows and the weather when your brain is literally just insurrectionary anarchism and traaaaaaaaans, neither of which you can safely act on

    …and being too paranoid even to shitpost or vent regularly on the internet, because you’re afraid you’d give out enough info for someone to dox you, and that would be the end

    obligatory :3 so i can pretend i’m still being quirky and funny like everyone else, don’t mind me, just silli thoughts~

    :3

    ok actually i’m feeling a little better rn, this helped. pls don’t lose hope, don’t let anyone take that from you, you’re all gorgeous and valid, and the world needs your beauty and your strength, and i love u :3