I feel you, friend. Similar situation here, possibly reversed. If I'm grumpy, or mad, or just having a rough day, I have to be exceptionally careful in bringing that to my partner. They deal with a lot, so when I add anything to that pile, it often explodes. So the pattern is me saying 'Here's something I am upset about. Please can I have five minutes of your time to listen to me.', then two days of me comforting my partner because they somehow contributed to this and they hate themselves for it.
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I gave up on thinking about it (at least, DC) as flow, and started thinking about it as pressure. It's a small mental flip that made a bunch of things easier. I've also heard people talk about it as the movement of holes where electrons are not.