neurotypical Bothered is like a polite little check engine ding; Autistic Bothered is anywhere from a louder ding to full-on screaming Airplane altitude alarms and/or nothing because your senses are processed differently.
Esperanto. it's not the statisically-average best lingua franca but it's the best known that's not tied to a single nation. Plus Hitler and Stalin both hated it.
Yeah, OP's partner just straight up not being in the mood will be the bigger roadblock. Hard to be when you're in pain/stuck with diarrhea/upset at everything/fatigued/ hangry/any of the above.
This is probably not going to stop the transvestigators though.