fakeman_pretendname

"What are we going to call this fish? It's got... so much pilch... maybe a bit too much if I'm honest"

So very right. Forcing myself to "do fewer things" and go to bed earlier, and give myself the chance of getting enough sleep makes such a difference. Of course, it helps that I'm old and boring now, so going to bed early isn't missing out on anything fun :)

It's very noticeable how all my misfunctioning is much worse of in underslept or underfed.

Yes, "in extreme cases, over a litre per hour" of diarrhoea.

One other thing to take from this is when you read "so-and-so died of dysentry" it means "so-and-so shat themselves to death".

E.g.

"1596: Sir Francis Drake, vice admiral, shat himself to death on 28 January 1596 whilst anchored off the coast of Portobelo."

Attributed to John of Wallingford (wiki link). There may not be a lot of truth in it.

I didn't even realise "no SD card" was an option. That's shitty and awful.

I'd add "less than 15cm tall" too. I've had enough of stupid giant phones that don't fit in pockets and where you can't even reach the top or other side with your thumb.

I'm quite interested in gamification options - as you say, you do need to change your "tricks" every now and again, as they can stop working.

Many years ago, I used to use a thing called "Habitica" (wiki link) which was sort of like playing your task list as an RPG, which I think worked well for me for a little while. Looks like it's still up and running though, so might be worth a look :)

I think you can self-motivate on this one - when approaching a new situation, stop to think "Could I draw a cock on this?" (and then "should I draw a cock on this?"). Don't be afraid to consider other options, for example a pair of boobs, or a simple swear word. The important thing is "Can I quickly erase it afterwards, and thus complete my original task?".

Cool. I'll put "write a newsletter" on my to-do list (unfortunately, the longer one).

I know your plan. You're looking for orange cat models to photograph and use to replace "Heathcliff" in your "Heathcliff without Heathcliff" posts.

It is a good plan.

Yeah, sorry about that, but I had to write a really long list for internet people, to procrastinate from the thing I was actually meant to be doing.

p.s. happy ending to the story - I have now done the thing I was actually meant to be doing :)

You can learn to control it. You know in Red Dead Redemption 2 where you capture a wild horse, and you have a sort of minigame where you have to move the controller about to stay on the horse, and if you stay on the horse long enough, the horse is tamed? Basically it's like that, except the mini game lasts 20 years.
Fill your blood with nicotine, caffeine and other stimulants, let the nicotine flow through you. Use your super-powers of focus and attention to complete your task. Warning: Nicotine Delivery Methods May Cause Unwanted Complications and Health Problems.
Find someone with similar issues and agree to do something like Body Doubling (wiki link)
If possible, go and work in a different space, and only bring the objects needed for the work. i.e. a quiet library, cafe, friend's house, hireable hotdesking space. Don't sit in your own house, because every room and every surface is probably a "to-do list" of things you haven't got round to doing.
Pretend the task doesn't exist and ignore it and hope it goes away. If the task doesn't go away, stay awake all night and complete it at the last minute in a panic.
Find an even more complicated and difficult task to do, then procrastinate from doing that task, by doing your original task. Note that, like the "Very Hungry Caterpillar" or "Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly", you may have to constantly increase the size and complexity of the larger tasks you're using to procrastinate yourself onto the smaller tasks. Eventually, this doesn't end well. You do not turn into a beautiful butterfly.
If it's a written task, just write down something, anything - stupid and deliberately wrong, funny if possible. Enjoy yourself writing gibberish for 5 minutes. Now go back and edit it. You're writing now - just change all the wrong words into right words. Starting the task, however wrongly, weirdly can get the task started. Absolutely make sure you double check your text when you finish, then triple check it. There's a risk of leaving a sentence of your original gibberish in there. The same mentality works with other stuff - need to paint a room in your house? Pick up the paint and a brush, and giggling, go and paint a giant cock-and-balls on the wall... now paint over the cock-and-balls... okay, you may as well finish the rest of the wall now. Need to hoover up? Get something powdered and use it to draw a cock-and-balls in powder on the floor. Oops! Better go and hoover up that rude drawing! Whilst you've got the hoover out, you may as well finish hoovering the room you're in. Make sure you know the substance can definitely be hoovered up.
Have 2 "to-do" lists. Have the one with thousands of things on it, that you will never get round to doing, then a smaller one which is only allowed 5-10 things on it, for today. If possible, break the tasks down as small as possible, and give yourself lots of opportunities to tick/check things off the list. E.g. for a written task:

write a single character
write a single word
write a single sentence
write a single paragraph
write a single page
write as much as you can until you are distracted. When you get distracted, start the list again. You only need to write a single character.

Decide you're not going to do the task. You're instead going to ask a friend/relative/colleague to do it. Unfortunately, they are stupid. Spend 10 minutes writing out a list of exactly what needs to be done, in order, so it's so obvious, a stupid person can follow it. Tricked yourself! The list is for you. Follow the instructions - the task is actually simple - look at the list - a stupid person could do it.
Don't try and do the whole task. Just set an alarm for 5 minutes, and then just do five minutes of it. You can do five minutes. No need to worry about doing the whole thing. Do 5 minutes of the task, switch your alarm off. You're already doing the task, so... maybe you could carry on for a bit...

[Edit] These are mostly focused in written work i.e. essays, homework, accountd, invoices, tax returns, press releases, programming etc - but many can be adapted for practical tasks or difficult things like "phone the doctor".

The main elements are lying to yourself, tricking yourself, and forcing yourself to do a tiny, very easy amount of the task, so you find yourself, tools in hand, already working on it. The secondary elements are using the support of other people and a change of scenery. Tertiary elements are filling your body with drugs, fear, guilt and panic.

Younger than most Lemmy users?

A Roman senator was fifteen minutes late to the Senate on a day Cicero was giving a speech. He sat down and quietly asked the senator next to him what Cicero was talking about. The senator replied, "I don't know - he hadn't got to the verb yet!"

Those ones pacman has.

Those ghosts that have been following me about and harassing me?

Going to eat the haunty little bastards.

Thank you for giving a detailed and serious answer to my silly question :)

I'll admit, it doesn't sound quite as nice with the extra information, but I'm still relatively in favour of a small war on Neptune, at least for a little while.

Did they get paid the same for a day of stabbing the sea and picking up seashells, as they did for traveling across a treacherous sea, marching to a distant land in an inhospitable climate and engaging in war where they may die?

If so, a bit of the old "splish-splash, stabby-stabby, ooh-what-a-nice-shell" doesn't sound too bad to me.

"Emperor, using this miniature spade, and an upturned bucket, I have built this small fortification out of wet sand, to defend us from Neptune's tides"

"I have decorated the fortification with seashells to intimidate Neptune"

Yeah. That old lady spending £3000 a month on gems for "Royal Candy Blaster Treasure Blitz Origins" is the gaming industry now. :(

Pretty much. It depends on a lot of factors, like how thick it's gone on, which colours and what specific oils or additives are in the paint, what surface it's on, how that surface was prepared etc, what the temperature and humidity of the room it's stored in is. It's not unheard of for artworks to be delivered to major exhibitions with paint that's still wet round the edges, especially if it's been a little "blobbed on".

For the varnishing, it might be surface/touch dry a lot sooner, but the paint is still wet underneath - so "6 months before varnishing" is the general rule most people follow. There are some synthetic quick-drying varnishes which (in theory) if applied gently and carefully, will still allow the paint to "breathe" and let you apply it sooner, allowing the painting to continue drying out after varnishing.

fakeman_pretendname

@ fakeman_pretendname @feddit.uk

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fakeman_pretendname

ard

I found a rule in my (current) downloads folder

Shitty attention to detail

those filthy danes coming over here and washing their bodies

Motorola confirms GrapheneOS support for a future phone, bringing over features

Motorola confirms GrapheneOS support for a future phone, bringing over features

I found a rule in my (current) downloads folder

I found a rule in my (current) downloads folder

I found a rule in my (current) downloads folder

Cece and Tasselhoff

I found a rule in my (current) downloads folder

I found a rule in my (current) downloads folder

01 March 1989

Mad respect

He's evil too, tho. Fuckin' optimate slumlord piece of shit

nooo never undervalue yourself

GO, CALIGULA! DEFEAT THE OCEANS ONCE AND FOR ALL

GO, CALIGULA! DEFEAT THE OCEANS ONCE AND FOR ALL

Xbox Co-founder Says Microsoft is Quietly Sunsetting the Platform

Portrait, oil on canvas. Finally framed and ready to deliver.

What happens in the Interplanet Space Fleet Sauna, stays in the Interplanet Space Fleet Sauna

27th October is National Black Cat Day (UK)

Opinion: There is a far bigger threat to Britain than fringe extremists: Tory radicalisation | Rafael Behr

Man playing music out loud on train: What are our options?

27th October is National Black Cat Day (UK)

"Upstairs is closed, mate. Think you need to move along to that kitchen and see about those empty bowls first."

Returning to the surface after exploring deep in the duvet caves.