It sounds like you’ve taken the hardest step of all: starting. So give yourself a huge pat on the back for that, because as you already admitted, starting something is hard af.
Why two? Depends on the mouse. Probably wireless, and you use one until it dies and then switch to your backup while the other charges (e.g. Apple’s Magic Mouse).
I was in a similar boat. We made it two weeks shy of our 13th wedding anniversary. It sucked, and Im sorry you have to go through it too. I don’t have any advice that you’ve probably not already gotten, but maybe I can offer you some perspective.
My ex was the one who shouldered the responsibility, finances, and planning of everything. In hindsight I believe she resented me for it; not that I blame her. So when I loved out, I had to start taking responsibility for myself (and my kids when I have them). I had to, for multiple reasons:
I was now single
I don’t have family to fall back on
I didn’t (and still don’t) want to give her any reason to think I’m incapable of taking care of my kids (i.e. fear)
I’m a role model to my kids
I could go on, but the point I am trying to make is that I found my motivation (albeit too late for my marriage) for taking things into my own hands and becoming self sufficient.
Am I perfect? Nope. Do I still need help sometimes? Yep, and sometimes I will involve my ex (because I still don’t have family of my own). She doesn’t mind as much anymore; I also offer to help her too. It’s about the baby steps.
I want to be perfectly crystal clear: in no way am I suggesting that you are to blame! Let me reiterate: you are not to blame, and neither is your wife. I just know that two people can very easily fall into a rut, and then one person feels like they are doing more than the other.
For me and my ex, I was depressed, burned out, and unmedicated for adhd. It took me almost a decade to realize this, and two and a half years to get a grip on it. And Im certain I still have a ways to go.
So please be patient and forgiving with yourself, and I genuinely wish you and your wife the best; whatever that looks like.
If you have the skills, cut yourself a block of wood to go from each side. Drill holes in the middle of the block and use some bolts from your local hardware store. Screws should work for each end.
Yeah, I’m not sure why you’re being downvoted. Everything you said is true, and respectful.
I think open-ended can be okay, so long as there are milestones we can achieve (i.e. try different things out to see what works and what doesn’t). Something as big as the environment, health/safety, and not completely alienating industries (as much as I hate to say it, we do need them and their resources to an extent), is not something that is going to be easily solved without compromise.
I expect that my last two points will not win me any popularity contests, but they cannot be ignored.
Same for humans. Who needs that blinding orange fireball for anything. It’s so annoying making us warm, giving us free light and energy, and helping our bodies create Vitamin D.
Gotta start somewhere, and gotta keep at it. It’s difficult at times, and there certainly are people who just want to see the world burn. But fuck them. They aren’t worth our time and energy.
If you believe that, I’ve got some beach-front property in Arizona to sell you! 🤣