the more i started caring about fitness the more vain and i guess bdd-mode i became because i found it was the only way i was able to make myself stick to it, internalising disgust at how i felt about myself. this isn’t something i’ve solved so it’s kind of an offhand comment but yeah. i’m not really sure what to do about it since i full well understand how this is bad intellectually but at a certain point it’s become almost reflexive.
the more i started caring about fitness the more vain and i guess bdd-mode i became because i found it was the only way i was able to make myself stick to it, internalising disgust at how i felt about myself. this isn’t something i’ve solved so it’s kind of an offhand comment but yeah. i’m not really sure what to do about it since i full well understand how this is bad intellectually but at a certain point it’s become almost reflexive.