confusedpuppy

@ confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

Posts

24
Comments

266
Joined

2 yr. ago

confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com 1w ago

True, but there's far more to this story than a few paragraphs can explain. She's also very cruel and I spent far too many years in therapy because of her actions.

At least I have validation from my cousin's recent interactions with her. He's been unfortunate enough to see her other side and has shared those experiences with me.

He now understands why I have distanced myself from her throughout my life.

1w ago

Permanently Deleted

confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com 1w ago

My sister has done a lot of good things for other people but I have an extremely hard time appreciating her actions. She spends so much time telling people on social media and real life all the good she has done. To me it seems like she is doing good to be seen doing good. As if attention to herself is a currency.

I rarely share the stories of when I help people because often when I do, I'm reminded of the privileges I have in life. That's not something I feel comfortable bragging about. It feels like I'm using the situation to make myself look better than I actually am if I brag about helping another person.

I think one of the many reason's she doesn't like me is because I refuse her help. I deny her the ability to brag about helping her little brother. Doing good to bring attention to herself is far more important to my sister than doing good because it's the nice thing to do.

2w ago

Failure is the best teacher

A few years ago I was in a position where I was seeing two shitty, manipulative people taking advantage of three of my friends in three different situations. My three friends had all been warned about the manipulators but still felt the need to be nice, diplomatic and caring towards them anyways.

I ended up spending a lot of time talking with my friends, pointing out bad behaviour and encouraging my friends to put their own interests first. I never blamed my friends for their behaviour and instead tried to give them the tools for identifying and dealing with their manipulators.

Eventually they all came to realize of just how awful those manipulators were and I made myself available for my friends to vent when the time came. It sucked having to watch my friends go through all those emotions in the end. They all were really hurt.

I do think I did the right thing. They felt hurt but they did more than just get over it. They all learned from those experiences. We don't talk as much as we used to but when we do talk, I'm always happy to hear that they are still putting themselves first and not giving any manipulators their time.

I also got to learn from all of that because too had been dealing several manipulative people in my own life at that time. Teaching my friends helped reinforce what I had learned and the results made me feel more confident in my own life choices that I had made in the recent past.

2w ago

CONTENT OF THE YEAR ELECTIONS

Oooh I've been nominated

Now when people ask about me, I can tell them I'm famous too!

2w ago

What happened to Cromite website/ F-Droid repo?

I haven't tried it myself but https://wiki.termux.com/wiki/Termux:Boot seems to be able to start Termux and programs after a phone starts/reboots. It does require downloading an additional package https://f-droid.org/packages/com.termux.boot/ along with the main Termux app.

2w ago

It's Monday 12/08/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

I've been working on a script for the past month which mounts and unmounts encrypted drives from a terminal command line. I've finally reached a state where I'm happy with it and feel it's quite complete.

I made it to help safely automate the backup of all the devices on my home network while helping me feel more secure about my encrypted drives. Mainly by ensuring I still need to type in my passphrase for each encrypted drive and making sure my encrypted drives are reencrypted after the backup data transfer is complete.

I'm now tempted to rewrite my first script in the same format as this current script so that it would be easier to add more features to it that's been sitting in the back of my mind.

2w ago

should I go back to my old job now that several people, some of them more knowledgeable than me have told me they don't understand my decision to quit it?

It may be that people are bothered by seeing someone take decisions differently than they do, they might feel their own decisions being implicitly questioned, so they might be reacting in a way that reaffirms their own values.

In my last job, I rarely worked overtime. My coworkers always gave me a hard time about leaving on time. Always claimed I was leaving early. They had absolutely no reason to treat me the way they did because none of them were in a management position.

A lot of them gave me a hard time for doing a job differently. I was quicker, more organized and often my work quality was just as good or sometimes better than their work quality.

Reflecting on their behavior now that I've left, it's quite clear to me that me prioritizing my personal life over work made them insecure about themselves. Not listening to their forced, unasked and unwanted advice made them insecure about themselves. Working in a way that made sense to myself made them insecure about themselves.

Guess what trend I started to piece together long after I left that awful place. When someone defies another person's personal truth or reality, that has the potential to cause the other person to feel insecure about themselves. It seems like they can't stand that someone else is able to do the things that they themselves are afraid of trying in the first place. Those people would rather drag you back into the same hole they are in. They don't want your personal success or happiness to remind them of their own personal insecurities.

I've spent the last few years learning to be comfortable in myself when dealing with other people's insecurities. Nothing I do will ever satisfy insecure people so I try my best to not let their words bother me. Their insecurities and feelings are not my problem. With those people, I end up giving them short and vague responses until they leave me alone. They don't deserve anything more.

2w ago

PSA: Don't use nextcloud's auto upload on the android app as a backup

There's a few things I backup from my phone.

Music downloaded from Seeker
Youtube audio downloaded from YTDLnis
Backups of Termux
Notes in plain text
Backups from certain apps that make their own backup data
Pictures that I have sorted and want to saved

I have an Android phone so I use Termux as a terminal emulator. I use ssh and passwordless keys to make transfers simpler and quicker.

Although this is closer to a backup process and not like SyncThing where it's syncing a folder between two devices. I don't believe rsync is capable of acting like SyncThing but I'm tempted to dig into rsync more and see if I can put something basic together one day.

2w ago

PSA: Don't use nextcloud's auto upload on the android app as a backup

I do something similar using only rsync. I've had nothing but headaches whenever I used automated file syncing programs. The bare bones aspect of just using rsync has made it a much more consistent experience.

I found using automated file syncing programs have too much complexity under the hood that just seems to lead to more time troubleshooting issues.

3w ago

Honestly, we're just looking to go in a new direction with different positions.

Aaah sorry, I thought the earlier comment initially came off as dismissive towards my friend. All good.

I don't recall what my friend said but dude got kicked out of the glow-in-the-dark mini golf place and she got to have his drink for free before finding her safe friends again. Problem solved itself fortunately.

3w ago

Honestly, we're just looking to go in a new direction with different positions.

She called someone who she trusts in a time when she needed support. I made sure she was safe, calm and around people she felt safe being around for the rest of the night.

Before that night, we became our own little mental health support group so of course I'm going to make sure she feels safe after dealing with some unhinged shit like how that guy was acting.

Also she lives in a different country, her life is her own as much as my life is my own in my own country. It's possible for two people to be friends, care for each other and not expect to be in an intimate or romantic relationship with each other.

3w ago

Honestly, we're just looking to go in a new direction with different positions.

I had a friend call me one night because she said no to a guy and he started threatening to kill himself. Like damn. That's some insane guilt-tripping, manipulative bullshit right out the gate. And this wasn't the first time this happened to her too.

3w ago

What useless advice have you had?

After an eventful night, my sister and her (now ex) fiancé told me I had it too good to be sad. Then my sister told me something significant that happened to our family 20 years earlier. She wanted me to feel guilty for something I didn't do at a time when my child brain didn't even start to form long term memories. It was as if telling me all this was justification enough for me to never be sad ever.

Since then she's never tried to have a relationship with me but she puts on a damn good act for everyone else pretending we are closer than we actually are to each other.

She's the main reason why today I'm so good at identifying and dealing with manipulators. Thanks for that, I guess.

3w ago

Is not you. I'm just lazy.

Another option that's available is hosting your own Kiwix instance and downloading the Arch Wiki .zim file.

I have a few other .zim's from the Kiwix library including Alpine Wiki, Stack Overflow, Man pages and a full copy of Wikipedia. There's a lot available at that Kiwix library which can make for a good offline digital library.

3w ago

they live

Danke für die große Wurst!

3w ago

Amber the programming language compiled to Bash, 0.5.1 release

I've been writing POSIX scripts as a sort of hobby and don't really have any Bash experience but I think I can still give some insight. Hopefully what I say is accurate but this is what I've learned so far.

POSIX is a standard, to say it as simple as possible, it sets the minimum requirements for environment, programs, commands and options for those commands with the purpose of having those commands be as portable as possible. That way a POSIX script will work on any POSIX compliant system. For example a POSIX script could work on Arch, Debian, on a Raspberry Pi or even Mac products. In theory if could work on windows too. If an Operating System ships with a POSIX compliant shell, you are very likely able to run a POSIX script.

Bash is a shell but it has a bunch of features that expand beyond the basic features set by the POSIX standard. Bash also has more features and flexibility for scripting which is why it's so common to see Bash scripts. Those scripting features are usually referred to as "bashisms." Since it expands on POSIX scripting, it can look similar to a POSIX script but would not work as intended if you ran a Bash script outside of a Bash shell.

With a lot of modern OS's, they would likely have Bash installed and you most likely don't need to worry about anything. However, Bash is not a standard and not required to be installed on every system.

If you care about your script working on as many systems as possible without the worry about what shell is being used, you will probably prefer writing a sh shell, POSIX compliant script.

Since POSIX shells and scripts work on a much more basic level, it can lack some depth and finding work arounds for issues can start to look unreadable/insane. A good example is how arrays are handled. POSIX is limited to one array where Bash has much better support for arrays.

There are advantages to using either but with the popularity of Bash, it's not really that big of a deal in the end.

3w ago

It's Tuesday 12/02/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

It's time to finish or prep my Christmas presents.

I have two wooden mushrooms that I carved and sanded that are ready to be stained. I've been putting it off since October. It's not even that big of a deal or that much of a hassle but brain still procrastinates.

The last present is easier. A small jar of home grown weed. I don't even smoke much weed and prefer to vape. I just like growing weed plants because they are pretty and I really like the smell of the fresh flowers. I air dried them in the unused cold room in the basement this year and it worked amazingly. There was no smell for anyone to complain about and I didn't lose my whole harvest to mold this year.

3w ago

Hey, autists. What's something that irritates you that absolutely nobody else/a severe minority seems to care about?