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confusedpuppy

@ confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

Posts
24
Comments
236
Joined
2 yr. ago

  • Dude read the rules of woman only community and decided to post anyway

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  • because that's the default social perspective you seem to be implicitly reinforcing.

    If I was quoted directly I might be able to understand what I am implicitly reinforcing. Otherwise this seems like a personal attack and a distraction from the conversation I laid out in my first comment.

    However, people generally give shitty women and their crappy behavior a way larger pass than men for the same offensive actions. And that's institutionalized in our laws.

    There are many laws in the world that vary greatly from region to region, are we totally sure women have more freedom in comparison to men in the way they act? I would like to see support for such a claim. A claim that involves half the population.

    and as for the authoritative voice... that's just what people do. pulling rank is part of the social game way all play to push ourselves up over one another. 'as an x' can be anything. it's a rhetorical device.

    Being social is not a game. It's a thing people and also a wide variety of other animals do. It's done for a wide variety of reasons. There are people who dedicate their lives to observe other animals and understand the complexity of being social. It's not fair to reduce 8 billion people to a single category from a single person's social experience.

    That sucks that people have to experience social moments as a constant struggle to push themselves over each other. It's definitely not the only way to live. There are communities online and offline, past and present that are able to exist without constant conflict within their social circles or communities. It involves being open and willing to accept others just as they are. If someone does not want to be open or accepting, then of course they will be angry or miserable.

    Personally, I've made efforts throughout all my life to distance myself from people who think being social is a game. Today I surround myself with people who caring and loving without the need to be dominant over each other. It's possible with a lot of work and persistence. I could blame others for feeling miserable but then I would never ever be happy.

  • Cloudflare Global Network experiencing issues

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  • I do want to write up a guide about how to setup Caddy + DeSec.io but I don't have the time at the moment. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I can try to help where I can.

    I'll leave you this previous post I made, you might find some additional information in there if you get stuck. https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/51117983

    Also, someone suggested using a wildcard cert for the use of any sub-domain names. I chose to learn and use that because it helps obscure my services. If you have any interest in security, it might interest you. It terms of security, it's not the absolute way to protect yourself, but I think it helps when combined with other security measures. If you read the comments in the post, you should get some more insight about it.

  • Dude read the rules of woman only community and decided to post anyway

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  • women insert themselves into men's spaces too.

    Is this all there is to comment after I pointed out my observations about men dominating spaces? Should I have also pointed out how much more frequent it is for men to invade other people's safe spaces and not other people invading men's spaces?

    why is it that you inherently value women over men?

    Where did I say I inherently value women over men? I can appreciate others without putting others above me from a hierarchy perspective.

  • Dude read the rules of woman only community and decided to post anyway

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  • I find it interesting how men regularly insert themselves into places or communities that are not designed for their specific label. I want to wonder what it is about women specifically that really makes men so uncomfortable about women having a place to discuss the world amongst themselves. But it doesn't take long to see a common trend that appears which is a man is attempting to push their dominance over a situation.

    Often times a comment begins with "As a man..." and it's obvious the commenter is positioning themselves as an "authoritative" voice. Placing themselves higher than the women in a woman's community. As if their words, experiences or perspectives hold more weight then the other people in this community not designed for men.

    I often see this behaviour also within men's communities such as Men's Liberation. It confuses me greatly to see "As a man..." comments in the Men's Liberation community because why do you need to declare your man status, in a men's community, talking about men's issues?? It seems to me it's about placing their own thoughts, experiences and perspectives over the other, "lesser" men in the community. Often those comments ignore the message of the article or video while adding absolutely nothing additional to the conversation. They just stated they are men. That's it.

    The same men that argue against a segregated internet would not hesitate to join a men's only community in real life or not. It's not even a conscious effort for them to join a men's only community. So when a community appears that doesn't include them, I imagine it must feel insulting to be excluded this one time.

    There's over 8 billion people on this planet with over 8 billion different experiences, not everyone is going to relate to everything all the time. An individual's experience is not universal. An individual's experience does not give them authority over another groups experiences. Spending a life trying to dominate everything around yourself is an impossible task because there will always be people who will defy your authority. Nature in general doesn't have a single fuck to give about one person's dominance.

    Good on the women who persist to exist in men dominant spaces. It's a steep uphill battle. It's an exhausting battle that seems never ending. I recently read how some of these women only communities operate behind the scenes and how they deal with certain issues. It showed how much effort they put into their community. I have an even greater appreciation for their existence now and I hope they continue to exist and grow.

  • Cloudflare Global Network experiencing issues

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  • True.

    My self-hosting strategy is wildly alternative and not one I speak much about publicly. I'm the only person connecting to my own domain so as long as I continue to practice shutting the fuck up, I can get away with using multiple layers of obscurity rather than fiddling with third party solutions.

    I check my logs daily and the only activity I ever see is my own. Since I am not hosting anything critical or sensitive, I have the opportunity to experiment this way without much risk to myself.

    The way I'm set up, I am not concerned with DDOS attacks because it would fail to get past the Dynamic DNS. If I were hosting a social media platform or something more public, then I would need to take stronger measures to protect myself and that data.

  • Cloudflare Global Network experiencing issues

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  • Currently I'm using DeSec.io for my Dynamic DNS and Caddy as my reverse proxy to automatically handle encryption certificates. It takes a little extra effort setting up a DeSec.io module with Caddy but since I got it working, it's been essentially zero maintenance.

  • Cloudflare Global Network experiencing issues

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  • Even though I don't host anything important, I'm still glad I found alternative ways to hosting my own stuff without the use of any of Cloudflare services.

    I've noticed over time that the self-hosted communities have been suggesting Cloudflare Tunnels less and less since Trump and his gang took over America. Maybe this latest outage will push more people to not recommend Cloudflare again in the future.

    I still remember when I first got into self-hosting and being mocked pretty hard for questioning the use of such a large centralized service like Cloudflare. I'm glad I persisted and kept learning in my own direction but that still was very demotivating at the time.

  • Self hosting Sunday! What's up, selfhosters?

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  • I actually started with RPi's. The first one, a used Pi 4b, is dedicated only to HomeAssistant. I don't tinker with it anymore because it does what I want and I don't want unexpected downtime when I have to use the bathroom or use the lights in my room.

    I bought a used Pi5 with the intention of upgrading later. In life I am quite minimal and find a joy in using what little tools and material I have to create something new. That seems to hold true to technology and scripting too. The RPi5 with an old USB3 HDD is actually way more power than I can currently use and can imagine using for a long time. The extra room to work is convenient though.

    I'll have a look into some of the places you suggested, those seem like the places to draw good inspiration from, thank you.

  • Can someone please explain what is this ? https://curl.se/

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  • I don't have much experience with curl. From what I understand, it's an old but constantly maintained command line tool. If you type curl https://www.google.com/ in your terminal of choice, you should get a text display in return of google's search page. That's if the curl command is installed on your system, which it most likely would be.

    You won't be able to interact with it since it's in text but you can see how the page has been written in the HTML language before it gets rendered into the website you would normally see in a web browser.

    When it comes to terminal commands, I find it helpful to do web searches using linux <command name>. For example linux curl and that will lead me to many sites that help explain the command and give multiple examples of how to use the command.

    Once you get more experienced with using a terminal, using the command options --help or -h will give you information that could help you use the command. For example curl --help

    There's also manual pages, or man pages that give a more technical look at commands within your terminal of choice. You can access them with man <command name>. Example: man curl.

    In the case of federation, every platform that is using federation is using a communication protocol called ActivityPub. Simplified, it functions like email but instead of private emails, it's transferring public social media content. Microbloggers and threaded conversations can communicate with each other using ActivityPub but the information exchanged between the two platforms is slightly different. That's how we get quirks like this when two different ActivityPub platforms communicate with each other.

  • What Happens When You Listen to the ADHD Demon

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  • I'm worried the amazing brain/mouth filter I currently have will fade one day. When dementia kicks in I will begin to say the most unhinged things I don't actually mean.

    That's why my retirement plan is extreme sports. Wing suits look like so much fun. Whatever happens, happens. I'm going out living in the moment.

  • Can someone please explain what is this ? https://curl.se/

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  • Different federated platforms talking to each other will look like this sometimes. In this case it's a microblogging platform talking to a threaded conversation platform. It's just a quirk of federation in general.

  • It's Monday 11017/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • Went to a wedding this weekend. It was nice but very overwhelming. I'm also still recovering from an ear infection so the speakers and also the drums from the Chinese dragon dance seemed to hit the eustachian tube in my throat/ear in a painful way. I stayed until the music started and then headed out. Fortunately my friend and his wife already know I'm not a huge fan of weddings so they were already happy I was able to make it out to their wedding day.

    Spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with my friends in the city. I learned that my friend talks in her sleep and it's hilarious. We watched a movie at her partner's place and she fell asleep during the movie. At one point later in the movie, she said "Spoiler, he's a gnome!" Spoiler, there was no gnome in the movie. Later in the night she turned to me and said "you're not a girl!" in a very disappointed voice. My favourite was when she said "shake ya tit!" Just a singular tit. Even when she's sleeping, she can still make me laugh. I love her so much.

    Overall a good weekend. Looking forward to my tattoo this Friday. My artist showed me the initial sketch this weekend and I'm already in love with it. Been going to her for over two years now because I love her art so much. I'm excited.

  • Self hosting Sunday! What's up, selfhosters?

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  • I started out rewriting my network backup scripts only to realize I was adding functionality to a previous script I wrote to automatically mount and dismount luks encrypted volumes. I still want to type in my luks passphrase because I don't want everything automated and prefer to include inconvenience as an additonal security measure in securing some of my data.

    I also came to the realization recently that the reason I don't relate strongly to other self hosters is because I've unknowingly been trying to create a minimal self hosted system that is more beneficial to small, low powered devices.

    I've been using Alpine Linux, I install only the bare, older but well established tools and have been creating scripts soley based off those tools instead of seeking out bigger, more complicated modern tools. For example creating workflows by only using rsync or using https://github.com/RayCC51/BashWrite to create a blog that only uses bash and GNU sed to create a static blog site.

    At least now that I'm aware of this, I can keep an eye out for such projects or communities and would hopefully be able to contribute something in that direction.

  • Meeting in the middle means shifting the goal posts until we're all knee deep in right wing bullshit

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  • I'm also confused as to how I am changing the subject talking about people who are stuck on defining words in relation to a meme about people stuck on defining words.

    At the very least we don't disagree on something after all this and that's something positive.

  • Meeting in the middle means shifting the goal posts until we're all knee deep in right wing bullshit

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  • Am I assuming most people are using words as a weapon?

    Did I say people were questioning my use of the word queer?

    I'm discussing a common manipulation tactic that's often performed which is happening in this meme. Something often used to derail an argument by forcing people to waste time talking about the definition of words rather than continuing a conversation about concepts as a whole.

    Manipulator's to me are like magicians, they hate when people talk about the tools of their trade. And I love talking about the tools of a manipulators trade. This just so happened to be a meme about a manipulators tool.

  • Meeting in the middle means shifting the goal posts until we're all knee deep in right wing bullshit

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  • I think my personal usage of the word 'queer' might be a good example to help describe what I mean.

    I personally have a strong dislike for labels. Often people label me as a quick way to describe a list of traits they think I am. Often I do not neatly fit that list of traits which ends up with the other person upset that I am not neatly categorized and predictable.

    However, as much as I hate labels, I still need to find community in this modern world. Talking with my therapist, we both agreed that 'queer' is probably the best compromise. It's nothing too specific and it's broad enough to be overall inclusive. I did not want to meet a specific group. Not gay, not bi, not poly, not trans, or any specific group. I wanted to meet all of these people in a general, inclusive space. In my area, the word queer happens to attract that diverse crowd I want to surrounded by.

    I've been around by the type of people misinterpret my words my whole life. That's why I choose to speak and type in the way that I do. I'm attempting to remove ambiguity. By removing thier tool of defining words as a weapon, it reveals that they can't really defend themselves or their awful hidden views.

  • Meeting in the middle means shifting the goal posts until we're all knee deep in right wing bullshit

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  • D:

  • Meeting in the middle means shifting the goal posts until we're all knee deep in right wing bullshit

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  • It's still possible to communicate clearly and not get dragged down with getting lost in the excess of words from so many niche or specific topics of human interests.

    Personally I choose to speak using words that are more common, simpler and broader. The purpose of that for me is to be understood by as many people as possible. To be understood by people of many ages or English skill level. This generally involves me using more words to describe what it is that I want to say or express without the need to condense meaning into words I have trouble defining because it's outside of my personal interests.

    Since I want to be understood by so many people, it means that many more people can hold me up to my word. That I can be called out by anyone, young or old, English as a first language or not and so on.

    When I'm around people who talk like a dictionary, using all these words that seem definable but leaves me confused and trying to fill in the blanks in a conversation, I'm left with questions. Can they define all those words? But more importantly, who are they trying to talk to? Me? Or their preferred group of like-minded people?

    There was a time before written language where language was continued through culture, tradition, story and possibly many other ways. This current experience isn't the one and only way to experience life.

    The ones who spend a large amount of personal energy fighting to define words will have spent a large amount of their limited time alive fighting to define words. They could have tried building community, or creating art or maybe just existing in the moment and being happy with the beauty that surrounds them. And then they, just like us, will all die. Life will continue on and the definition of words will continue to flow, change, evolve or die like so much of human culture and activity.

  • Meeting in the middle means shifting the goal posts until we're all knee deep in right wing bullshit

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  • I found myself unconsciously drifting away from people who are mentally stuck behind the definition of words. I didn't realize what I was doing or why I was feeling safety in isolating myself for the longest time.

    People who are so heavily invested in the definitions of words rarely have good intentions.

    It never really made much sense to me. Words are all made up and are in constant change from one time period to the next. Each generation has their own words and what it means to them.

    I think subconsciously I realized that people obessed with defining words were attempting to assert power or dominance over me or my interests. That's why I pushed back in my own way. By living a life that can't be defined and cutting those weirdos out of my life.

    After a weirdo dies, what did all that time spent fighting about the definition of a word archive? Maybe we can ask Charlie.

  • It's Thursday 11/13/2025. Hey, What's Going On!

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  • If I can't hibernate, it's the next best thing :)

  • Funhole @lemmy.sdf.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Welcome home

  • Mycology @mander.xyz
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Big and Smelly

  • Funhole @lemmy.sdf.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Your disengagement will be televised

  • Funhole @lemmy.sdf.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Kinky

  • Spiders @lemmy.world
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Under bean leaves

  • Funhole @lemmy.sdf.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    A Message

  • Bun Alert System @lemmy.sdf.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Stealthy Bun

  • Nature and Gardening @beehaw.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    A spider's upside down home in a tomato leaf

  • Selfhosted @lemmy.world
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Can't access exposed rootful podman container from outside of host device

  • Selfhosted @lemmy.world
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com
    Solved

    Caddy + DeSEC.io + DNS Challenge

  • Nature and Gardening @beehaw.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    The babies grew up too fast

  • Bun Alert System @lemmy.sdf.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Yoga Bun

  • Nature and Gardening @beehaw.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    A cool day is great for cuddling

  • Nature and Gardening @beehaw.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Babies!

  • Nature and Gardening @beehaw.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    I don't know if that's a cucumber anymore...

  • Free and Open Source Software @beehaw.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Terminal-Based Web Browsers

  • Nature and Gardening @beehaw.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    I've given up doing any sort of planning

  • Nature and Gardening @beehaw.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Robin Eggs :)

  • Bun Alert System @lemmy.sdf.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    A dinner date

  • Free and Open Source Software @beehaw.org
    confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

    Using Let's Encrypt SSL over uncommon ports