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cinnamon

@ cinnamon @lemmy.cafe

Posts
9
Comments
49
Joined
4 mo. ago

  • Clock switching forth and back 1 hour

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  • No, I only have Mint installed.

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • My SO actually did tell me when she noticed improvements. But there weren't enough improvements...

    The tip with the "mistake journal" is great btw, I had never thought of that. Thank you so much, I will definitely start doing this :)

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • Yeah, you're absolutely right. Thank you for this.

    I want to keep working on my issues regardless of whether or not I'm in a relationship.

    Even though a part of me feels like giving up on it when I wasn't able to save my marriage...

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • Thank you so much, this is great advice.

    But I think it may already be too late for us. We've been on the brink of breaking up before and my wife hasn't been happy in our marriage in a long time. Last week she told me this once again and that she's currently under too much pressure (other things going on in her life) to make any decisions but basically thinking about ending things. And then two days later we had an ugly fight and I think.... I think it's too late.

  • Python / Anaconda installation

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  • thank you!

  • Python / Anaconda installation

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  • thank you!

  • Linux Mint @programming.dev
    cinnamon @lemmy.cafe

    Python / Anaconda installation

  • It makes me angry when other people don't understand how much my partner struggles with my ADHD

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  • Thank you for your replying <3

    After reading the comments I went back and read my post and realized I didn't get my point across. The thing that bothers me isn't that I don't get enough sympathy for my own struggle. What bothers me is that when I tell people "my ADHD has been eroding our marriage" everyone seems to be low-key (or not so low-key) assuming that my partner must be overreacting because it can't be THAT bad. They think I'm just a bit more chaotic than most people and my partner must be overly sensitive.

  • It makes me angry when other people don't understand how much my partner struggles with my ADHD

    Jump

  • Thank you for your replying <3

    After reading the comments I went back and read my post and realized I didn't get my point across. The thing that bothers me isn't that I don't get enough sympathy for my own struggle. What bothers me is that when I tell people "my ADHD has been eroding our marriage" everyone seems to be low-key (or not so low-key) assuming that my partner must be overreacting because it can't be THAT bad. They think I'm just a bit more chaotic than most people and my partner must be overly sensitive.

  • It makes me angry when other people don't understand how much my partner struggles with my ADHD

    Jump

  • Thank you for your replying <3

    After reading the comments I went back and read my post and realized I didn't get my point across. The thing that bothers me isn't that I don't get enough sympathy for my own struggle. What bothers me is that when I tell people "my ADHD has been eroding our marriage" everyone seems to be low-key (or not so low-key) assuming that my partner must be overreacting because it can't be THAT bad. They think I'm just a bit more chaotic than most people and my partner must be overly sensitive.

  • ADHD @lemmy.world
    cinnamon @lemmy.cafe

    It makes me angry when other people don't understand how much my partner struggles with my ADHD

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • Thank you <3

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • Thank you, these are great ideas :) <3

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • Yeah, I've been suffering from depression for around 1,5 years and am currently on antidepressants in addition to my adhd meds. Looking back on my life I can see how ADHD has always been there but I also think that my interpersonal relationships suffered as badly as they could have. I think I was often lucky. For example, I lost my first "proper job" because I kept forgetting important things. But regardless of that my boss liked me on a personal level, suggested that this job just wasn't for me and when I got a job at the same place but a different department we still got along great.

    But my relationship with my wife had only been my second proper relationship and my first true long-term relationship and I feel like my ADHD was a ticking timebomb and when it went off it shattered everything.

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • Thank you so, so much. All the kind words I have received in these comments really mean so much to me.

    I think by now my partner does grasp what having ADHD means. In the past she didn't really know what it meant and thought that ok people were maybe a bit more chaotic or forgetful.

    But she has realized that the way my brain works is just fundamentally different and sometimes incomprehensible to her. And she knows me having ADHD means she has to put up with some things in order to be together with me but it's reached a point where there isn't really any, or hardly any, happiness left. She feels completely drained and constantly on the edge of depression. We have completely fallen into the "child-parent-dynamic" and she says being married to me is like being married to a teenager. Or having a child without having a child. Which in turn, I guess it goes without saying, has also pretty much killed any romance or attraction between us.

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • My partner 100% doesn't have ADHD, I have never met a more focused, attentive, pro-active person than her. She always immediately knows what to do and gets it done. But she's repeatedly stated that she thinks she might be on the autistic spectrum and from what I know about it and what I know about her I agree it might be the case and, if true, that would probably be another factor making things difficult 🤔

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • Yeah. I often notice that I can do something just fine if I'm doing it on my own.

    This may be a ridiculous example but: One common source of friction is when we go grocery shopping together and put all the items back into the shopping cart after the cashier has scanned them. They are super fast and so we need to be pretty fast as well putting them back into the cart without for instance damaging fruit or veggies.

    When we are shopping together I never know what to do. My partner is super fast at putting things into the cart and I want to try to help but I feel like I'm just getting the the way because I'm putting things back in the wrong order or into the wrong part of the cart.

    When I'm on my own I do it just fine my own way.

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • I have a job, and fortunately one that I'm actually really good at. I participate in chores but the problem is more like.... being aware of "the bigger picture", so to speak. Like, when we're looking for / moving into a new apartment: All the things that will need to be done in the process and doing them in time. Thinking and planning ahead.

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • One of the turning points for me was to stop putting myself last and to instead put myself first.

    This is actually great advice. I've started to notice that I have ended up in a mental place where I'm constantly beating myself up and disregarding my own needs and feelings because "I'm the one who's wrong" and so I feel like I'm not allowed to complain about anything. It's not helpful at all.

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • Thank you, I appreciate your suggestions :) I'm on meds, yes, and I think it has helped a bit but not as much as I had hoped it would.

  • I guess my marriage is history

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  • I'm sorry to hear that. Having ADHD is a struggle but being the partner of someone with ADHD is extremely exhausting as well. I think there should be support groups for partners of ADHD-people.

  • ADHD @lemmy.world
    cinnamon @lemmy.cafe

    I guess my marriage is history

  • Privacy @lemmy.dbzer0.com
    cinnamon @lemmy.cafe

    Browsers without AI

  • Android @lemmy.world
    cinnamon @lemmy.cafe

    Resolved: Unable to access PlayStore and Weather won't update either - both claim to have no internet connection

  • Linux Mint @programming.dev
    cinnamon @lemmy.cafe

    "EFI stub" warning when booting