You are 20 years old. You can be anything from this point on. We can't fix a damn thing about what we did in the past. We can just you know, help forge a better future. If people fuck you up, you can take a break from deep relationships. You can just have superficial ones, which are easier to manage. Idk where you're at, but try to find something productive you can put a lot of energy into and take it from there. If you do something very technical, you don't really need to bring anything but a simple respect for others to the table. You don't have to talk feelings, or really at all outside of expressing logical thoughts. Idk what to say about the emotionally unstable part. I'm not a doctor, but I was once young. I am not sure if this still holds true, but I remember hearing your brain isn't even fully formed until you're 25. 20 is a good age to be anything, so like I said - just find something you can tolerate (or in theory enjoy) and do that and you'll see the blocks start falling into place. Also if you can't talk to someone, write. I mean you can write here, but I think you should just grab some paper and shit all over it. Just shit, and shit, and shit. Just take all your word goo and plop it on the pages. Make sure it's somewhere you feel is safe and destroy it when you're done. It helps a lot, I'd like to think. Also feel free to shout into pillows. I don't do it, but I hear it's the shit.
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Don't say your opinion online, or angry people will downvote you and "shame" you to death. People, are we allowed to say what we feel? No, not really. It's just an echo chamber, as much as it is in society. I thought the internet was supposed to be a place for freaks and geeks to get a chance to say what they feel instead of being silenced like we are so readily in reality. Such a shame.