"Fuck you money now, now money now, or I hurt you money give, smile or hurt. We friend, more money now"
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- 3 yr. ago
- Posts
- 3
- Comments
- 7119
- Joined
- 3 yr. ago
What a bizarre and disgusting thing to do
I don't think it needs to be the biggest or best, but there is something to be said for "hey, this is mundane and local, if it impresses you you ought to go out and see more." If you've spent your whole life in the plains you don't necessarily need to see the redwoods or the Himalayas or some pristine tropical beaches, but it would be good for you to hit up some beaches, some mountains, and a forest and see how the world is different there. Hell a desert may do you some good as well.
As an American I highly recommend others in the country just hit up a different national park every few years if you can and visit a nearby city to it. If you've spent your whole life in a town an hour from Des Moines, seeing the Olympic peninsula and Seattle or whatever strikes your fancy near Santa Fe and Albuquerque, or the Cuyahoga Valley and Cleveland will help you better understand how much there is out there and how beautiful it all is. It's not just the grand canyon, Yosemite, and Yellowstone though I hear they're all amazing. I actually recommend picking ones you haven't heard about before
You're from Cleveland I see
As someone who fell prey to someone that way, yep. I try not to be callous, but at a certain point it goes from "you're part of the problem" and into "you're incapable of coping with a boring normal situation and so you just cause problems to deal with it"
Yeah it's vital that agreeing to try something new doesn't feel unsafe. If the kid doesn't like it a parent can eat it, it's fine. And that's not just for autistic kids, but it is especially for them. Adventurous behavior, especially in children, is associated with it feeling safe to push outside one's comfort zone. That can mean trying kimchi or it can mean trying the monkey bars. Encouraging adventurous behavior is also good. You want the kid to be comfortable leaving their comfort zone and entering the growth zone. Food is just one element of it.
I've had to help autistic adults learn that they can just try new things, fail, and be ok whether it's setting up a doctor's appointment, new foods, or new skills. Many people, but especially common in people diagnosed with autism as children, are raised where if something doesn't go right the first time they're scolded or punished or fussed over or whatever else discouraging behavior and it results in people who struggle to leave their comfort zones, which is crippling as an adult.
No judgment, but you need to do some exposure therapy on separation. I know it's hard and scary but it's what works. I cried my first night living away from home, and fuck knows I wasn't healthy when I lived in dorms, but it helped build independence. And I'm not saying "move out now", I'm saying make a plan to spend a small amount of time away from your mom, do something, and you keep doing that until it's no longer scary and then you do something more.
Also look up some anxiety management techniques, and start practicing some that seem relevant. I'm personally prone to catastrophizing and so for me figuring out the worst realistic scenario and planning for that helps calm me down by forcing me to actually reject unrealistic worries and reframe the situation as something where I can probably handle it if things go wrong. Breathing techniques and grounding techniques have done wonders for dealing with the physical experience of anxiety. I've also found exercise to be helpful, taking a walk and just chatting to myself about my feelings in my head is amazing, but if you can do something more strenuous like running, biking, push ups, or lifting that's also awesome.
One step at a time, small, but consistent. The most important step a person can take is the next one. It's ok to fail, but you get back up and try again. Getting out of this is a marathon not a sprint. You seem to really hate being in this position, and that's fair, but you today can start the process that eventually will get you out of it.
I personally have found a "no zero days" philosophy to be extremely helpful for my goals. The way it works is every day you do something to advance a goal you have, even if it's very little. When I was getting into shape that meant even on days I wasn't running a calorie deficit I still did some bodyweight exercises, and if I forgot to exercise at all until bedtime I'd accept staying up a bit late to do a few push ups, just to ensure the habits stuck. For you that could mean even if you don't have the energy to do anything you spend a few minutes meditating or doing a breathing exercise. But the low days should be accompanied by days with more effort, where you push yourself into the growth zone.
You can do this.
Better, but in a way that's largely on them. They had more money, security, and opportunity, but they were a terrible match with a lot of mental issues and grew to hate each other. I have less, but I've been working on my mental health since I was younger and actively prioritized only marrying someone I was a good match for.
My life has been hard and painful, but I've played a difficult hand fairly well and my problems are rarely persistently internal
We're Americans.
Yeah, they aren't hiding it, they think she agrees, and until the past few years the only people I've heard irl who talked about wanting that were women
When I was in (catholic) high school the only person who openly opposed women's suffrage was a girl. Her family was so conservative they rejected the second Vatican Council and sent another kid to a catholic military school. I liked her despite all that, I hope she got better
It was nice, but I was still in high school so it didn't really feel like adulthood, that came in the form of my high school graduation, moving in to college, and then my 21st birthday.
Just enjoy it and appreciate the freedom and responsibility, but also take your time before acting on your newfound right to sign contracts. Maybe register to vote if you live in a democracy that doesn't do that automatically, for me that was the biggest thing about that age, I was finally a full citizen.
That's why he loves Jesus so much. Evangelical Christianity is the only religion that would take a piece of shit like him, say it's totally understandable that he'd act that way, then say he can be a good person, better than most, without him stopping his vicious and evil behavior. All he has to do is profess his allegiance and reject equality. Doesn't even have to bother checking if his actions fit in with the words or actions attributed to his professed savior
Listen, I'm a fucking syndicalist, but there's a reason we don't think cops should have strong unions. A strong union at a business making too high demands just tanks the business, especially if it's union owned. Because of this union owned businesses tend to prioritize stability over benefits and discourage taking too much for not enough benefit to the whole.
Police are an arm of the municipality. When their union is strong enough to demand whatever it wants the city has to find the money from somewhere else, often through rent seeking applications of civil offenses and misdemeanors. You wind up in a situation where laws are enforced based on how profitable or easy they are to enforce to the cops. What does that look like? Decades of unexamined rape kits sitting in a back room, a 50% murder solve rate, and nobody bothering to investigate your home invasion if you don't have a surveillance camera, but traffic and parking tickets galore with lots and lots of whatever the cops want. But the library is broke and there's no money for infrastructure.
And that's before we get into the fact that this is the people who use violence on behalf of the state. Police and prison guard unions both are incentivised to fight for less restrictions on use of violence by the state. Less consequences for police misconduct or unjustified killing, longer prison sentences, less enforcement those pesky rights that get in their way.
It's amazing that their unions can do all that and still have the energy to ensure they get away with literal murder
Wait, touch screen for windshield wipers‽ Fuck that shit. It's supposed to be a stalk opposite the turn signals because it's safety critical. What next, touch screen for your turn signals‽
Oh hell yeah, I'd love to do that but my wife doesn't like when I do mood lighting
Finding nutritious safe foods is vital. People super into weights often eat a pre portioned amount of rice and chicken and all the spinach they want, and my autistic wife enjoyed doing that when she did it. Texture is huge but so is familiarity. For western autistic people safe foods tend to be heavily processed "kid foods", make sure your kid's idea of comfort foods isn't that.
Also encourage him to be brave and try new things with the safety of it not being commitment to the food, and as he's older talk to him about what he likes and doesn't about things and check in before trying something new when he's old enough to. My wife has days where she has the mental energy to try something new, and days where she doesn't. Additionally if I can describe what it's like it takes less energy for her to try. And don't pull the "it's just like chicken" thing, go more "these fried mushrooms are tender and slimy with a strong umami taste, kind of like soy sauce but not as salty or fermented tasting"
It's also just easy. My lunch every workday is the same. When I ate meat I'd swap out what kind of lunch meat was on the sandwich, but now it's a peanut butter sandwich with a piece of fruit. My breakfast is often the same on workdays. My variety comes from dinner and weekends. Is it because the idea of doing this is appealing? No, but I never have to worry that I forgot to pack a lunch or that I chose a breakfast I didn't have time for.
My wife on the other hand once spent years eating the same thing and considered it a perk of powerlifting, because that woman is autistic af.
Yeah it's an arbitrary line. Slow changes generation after generation, but where normally those changes balance out (a tall person is not much more likely to reproduce with tall people than short people), when a trait is advantageous/disadvantageous to survival or reproduction or encourages those with it to only reproduce with others with it sometimes it tilts the scales and slowly a proto deer/horse finds itself increasingly adapted to water to the point its leg bones become vestigial
Weird. The bi women I've dated have all spoken glowingly about certain body parts of men, while my gay ass was just like "good to know". The one ex found uncircumcised dicks hot as all get out. Another found both twinky guys and hairy masculine guys super hot, but mostly she just loved a good ass no matter who it was on.