I find VMs to be unbearably sloe compared to a container. They just feel so heavy. I get the extra security layer, is that really why people are doing it or is there some other reason?
Kubernetes is overkill for most things not just self hosting. If you need to learn it great otherwise don't waste your time on it. Extremely complicated given what it provides.
This is what is called a site to site VPN connection. Id suggest just using wireguard without tailscale given the amount of set up you need is minimal. A typical pattern is to connect a site to site VPN on each router of the given network you want to connect. Lots of router software support wireguard nowadays so depending on the software you may just be able to search for your router software + site to site VPN configuration.
The routers or computers you are using for this have to support forwarding traffic. With Linux this is pretty straight forward for other OSes I'm not sure how easy it is.
