You can pretty much go on r/asktransgender and search for this question and get a gazillion hits if you want to see more of people's experiences.
But funny enough it was a post on here that got me to finally accept myself. It got me to realize that my fetishes manifested because I was basically forced to repress myself out of fear, and the only "safe" way to express those desires in our society is as a sexual kink, where people are generally permitted to let their imaginations run wild.
I was still really worried I was doing it for sexual reasons, but that got me to realize I could try experimenting with crossdressing for more than a day or week at a time. Basically, long enough so that I knew what I was feeling was euphoria and not just a sexual thrill. Because despite how kinky I thought I was, there was no way I could stay aroused for a month straight.
Were there times I felt sexy, or thought I looked good in the mirror? Sure! But you know who else gets to feel that way without as much internalized shame? cis people. And now that I've transitioned and my libido has dropped, it's even more obvious. I can still get around and masturbate, but I do so like 10x less frequently, and no longer feel any shame. Heck, I barely into kink anymore. If I was some sex-addicted "AGP", then this would either suck because I don't have that drive anymore or it would be great because I'm "cured". It's basically a win-win, and shows why that narrative is complete bullshit.
You can pretty much go on r/asktransgender and search for this question and get a gazillion hits if you want to see more of people's experiences.
But funny enough it was a post on here that got me to finally accept myself. It got me to realize that my fetishes manifested because I was basically forced to repress myself out of fear, and the only "safe" way to express those desires in our society is as a sexual kink, where people are generally permitted to let their imaginations run wild.
I was still really worried I was doing it for sexual reasons, but that got me to realize I could try experimenting with crossdressing for more than a day or week at a time. Basically, long enough so that I knew what I was feeling was euphoria and not just a sexual thrill. Because despite how kinky I thought I was, there was no way I could stay aroused for a month straight.
Were there times I felt sexy, or thought I looked good in the mirror? Sure! But you know who else gets to feel that way without as much internalized shame? cis people. And now that I've transitioned and my libido has dropped, it's even more obvious. I can still get around and masturbate, but I do so like 10x less frequently, and no longer feel any shame. Heck, I barely into kink anymore. If I was some sex-addicted "AGP", then this would either suck because I don't have that drive anymore or it would be great because I'm "cured". It's basically a win-win, and shows why that narrative is complete bullshit.