I guess what I am not understanding is why you would self host if youre not doing it for privacy and security. Who cares where the information is if the info gets to where it needs to be? If the user doesnt set it up just how they want and all decisions are made by a 3rd party, why not just centralize the information? That 3rd party can still implement all the spyware, telemetry and backdoors they want to into the software so to the end consumer it makes literally no difference other than the fact that now instead of everything being in “the cloud” you have to spend $100+ on a box that does the same thing the cloud did.
I don’t think a simple statement of “I see your concern, I’ll address it when I have time” is really that hard for one person to issue when the alternative is, as you’ve said, letting “a fucking clown show” fester on. It would’ve made my worries go away if the developer had said literally anything instead of radio silence for a year. Sure, no one is entitled to a developers time or attention. That developer is also not entitled to my trust or recommendation to others when a serious issue was swept under the rug for over a year. There’s no doing better when it comes to a matter of personal opinion on how a situation was handled.