I’m only alive because successfully killing myself is hard. Bernadette, she/her, smash bros addict, dog person, work addict, ruined beyond repair, stuck in the past. I will defend Amazon and Nintendo like they’re the parents I never had. They did, and will do, nothing wrong, ever.

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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: November 11th, 2024

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  • I absolutely love it a lot.

    However be aware the under-display selfie camera is pretty bad on the Redmagic 9, and the phone is not waterproof because of the fan and headphone jack. The rain won’t kill your phone but submerging it most likely will.

    The battery life is amazing, the fast charging is pretty fast. I think I got 90% battery in less than an hour. And with the fan, it won’t overheat when charging, or at all lol

    Also buy a case from Amazon, the case that comes with it is bad lmfao



  • Yeah, you probably won’t find any. My phone has a stupid AI “beauty” filter that makes me look exactly like Kim Kardashian and I hate it. While I hate my appearance, I do not want someone else’s. And I hate how one person is considered “pretty” and you need to be her to be pretty. Annoying as hell. Unrelated, no one asked.

    I’d honestly just recommend online-image-editor.com but it’s a website not an app, and is very vintage internet. Of course one of the best photo editors is made during a time when the internet was about fun and not competing and money.

    Tl;Dr online-image-editor.com, make your child a bit more tech savvy.





  • I’ve spent my whole life being less human than AI and less human than a street rat. “People” has only been used to describe me without saying my name within family and friend groups. “I want to play some games but I don’t want to play with People. What should I tell People to make People go away?” I’m scum trying to come off as a human to make enough money to retire early so I can Just Go Away without making myself a much bigger burden by failing a suicide attempt.

    Most people are normal people whose parents raised them for success and actually spent time with them. Normal people who will feel “loss” when family dies. I still don’t get how it’s anything more than spilled milk. Can’t you just find someone else to replace them? Anyway, they all have the same experiences and views and can relate to each other. I have nothing. I am nothing.

    The people who went through similar experiences will make fun of me for still smelling bad despite how hard I try to be clean, and assume it’s only because I play video games and don’t shower. AI would treat anyone with respect, including me.




  • Even though I was misdiagnosed, I would have benefited from being “wrongfully” euthanized than to live as the scum beneath my family’s shoes, having to learn basic hygiene and just about everything else on my own (while having to hide it from family since trying to be clean and mature is funny), and being in a “school” that educated me with YouTube videos while teaching me that my comfort doesn’t matter and to let anyone do whatever they want to me regardless of whether I like it or not. Fighting off a creepy stalker who copied everything I did and cornered me in the restroom made me the problem. She’s not a creep, I just don’t like. But letting another kid touch and try to rape me without reporting it (because why would someone care about something you Just Don’t Like) also made me the problem.

    To this day I just tell everyone I don’t remember anything before Three Houses came out. I barely do anyway. I have no childhood memories, no family, no childhood friends, no pictures, nothing. Because while everyone else got to navigate their neighborhood and actually grow as children and teenagers, I sat on a short bus for 2 hours, in the same desk for 7 hours, then on the short bus for another 2.5 hours to go lie in bed and be out of sight like a good kid. I should have just died.









  • I have a higher chance of birthing a developmentally disabled child if I actually do get pregnant. Is it wrong to be 100% against birthing my own child solely because of this.? I was misdiagnosed and was in an aba institution for 10 years, and dehumanized and alienated by family the whole time. When I got to a real high school, I was treated like an infant or a wild bear, nothing in between. I wholeheartedly believe that regardless of whatever I accomplish in my life, I would have been much better off never born, euthanized, or murdered.

    I don’t want to force this experience on anyone else if I can prevent it from happening. It’s not just the abuse in the aba institutions but treatment literally everywhere. In high school everyone had brand name clothes, apple technology, brand headphones, etc. No one cared. I had off brand clothes, cheap headphones, a Microsoft Surface and a Galaxy phone, and was treated like a rich scumbag, like I was Brian Thompson’s privileged daughter who had everything because her dad made everyone suffer. Literally not having brand name clothes was status against everyone else. I couldn’t afford them even if I did want to wear clothes advertising the store it came from. I never understood the appeal of that. But everyone saw somebody below them with some nice things, and even worse, preferences.

    Being a joke to the people who “love” you, having all your “friends” be people school staff begged to talk to you so you don’t kill someone, and having the same disorder that made you less of a human be the reason why you accomplished something mundane like passing a class with a 60 grade is just not a life worth living. Watching everyone else get to be real humans with real happiness, real hobbies and interests, and real personalities while you need to hide everything about yourself is not a life worth living. There’s just no reason to live on the wrong side of society. I wish my mother had just aborted me when there were signs I wasn’t going to make it. I’m not making the same mistake.