I have a mate who was diagnosed with NPD, then they realised he's actually ADHD on top of a screwed up family / childhood structure. So his brain was self centered dopamine chasing and his fantasising was escapism, not power fantasies. Psychs sometimes get it wrong.

ADHD's neurochemistry can push you to behaviours and reward seeking that looks downright solipsistic at times. Couple that with poor communication skills / fear and you get a husband who turns into a passive agressive turd when you go shopping at a certain store rather than going "fuck me this place is sensory hell ima gonna wait in the car" (ask me how i know)

My emotional processing system can make me look cold, almost brutal at times. I'm not. I'm ASD. I'm not an abusive partner giving you the silent treatment, I'm literally unable to speak when at moments of high emotionality. I'm not emotionally immature throwing tantrums, i was undiagnosed, high masking ASD who hit a stress point beyond management because i was actively taught in an NT world that my recognition of stress limits and warning signs to avoid that meltdown was wrong and petty.