So I'm going to preface with the fact that I don't hate Christmas. I thought I did for a long time but forced to actually stop and consider it, that's not an accurate statement.

However, I do object to a lot of how Christmas is portrayed and celebrated now (UK if that make a difference)

• it's a family affair: every TV program, every billboard, every commercial on the radio is telling you that this is a family occasion, a coming together. For those of us that are divorced or otherwise alone, it's a really fucking lonely time of year precisely because you're effectively being told from all angles that if you're not at the centre of a massive family celebration, you're a sad loser
• too long: it's one day, maybe one week if you can extend it all. For this we have to have 3 months of build up? It's too much, builds all the stress and makes the actual day unlikely to live up to the hype
• Music: saccharine Christmas music from November onwards. I have a playlist of music that I can stand and I listen to it occasionally (I'm listening to it now). So sorry to anyone working in retail who has to listen to it on repeat
• competitive: did you have the most lights? Most people round? Fanciest meal? Tell us all about it. Please, call in to the radio because we really care
• unchanging tradition: people who have to have it exactly as it was when they were young and force everyone else to conform to that singular vision

So over the last couple of years I've had time and space to focus on what do I want it to be and I've decided that for me Christmas is about: light and warmth and love.

I don't need anything else but pretty lights to look at, a warm house and the love of my family and friends. I now see Christmas cards as a little present, a bundle of love. I send them with a message because I'm saying that I love you with each one.

I've told my boys they don't need to buy me anything, just their presence is all I need to make me happy.

I make sure to focus on seeing my friends and making sure they know that I appreciate them.

This has all helped massively. I still get the lonely feeling - tonight I'll be by myself on Christmas Eve and that's hard, but I can concentrate on what it means to me and that helps loads.