What would you advise i do?
If you can afford to and if what you are looking for is even available (for non-DRM'd download) through legal channels, I advise purchasing the content legally. (Yes, I know what community I'm commenting in.. :D ) Doing so supports the artists that make the content.
Otherwise, I would check and see if what you are looking for is on Youtube or in Anna's Archive. You can download things from Youtube using either yt-dlp (give it a Youtube link) or spotdl (give it a Spotify link and it will download the song, album or playlist from Youtube and tag the songs using Spotify or Musicbrainz metadata). The current addresses to Anna's Archive can be found on their Wikipedia page.
I also like Usenet, currently, for a lot of the more esoteric, hard to find elsewhere things (like TV shows that don't have DVD releases and aren't on Youtube). Just a heads up if you go this route, the Usenet provider "Eternal September", while free, does not provide access to the groups where binaries (things like video, music, epubs, and pdfs) are posted. They only provide access to the discussion side of Usenet, which has been largely dead for the last 10-15 years. Generally, Usenet access is fairly cheap, as are the nzb trackers needed to download binaries from Usenet.
Torrents don't require a VPN, however, torrenting does broadcast your IP address for all the world to see if they decide to look. A VPN is used to obfuscate your IP address to minimize the odds of trouble with your ISP, the rightholders (who might sue) or depending on where your are, law enforcement. Just don't ever use the "free" VPNs that are out there. They tend to be honeypots or malware vectors.
People not seeding things has made bittorrent pretty much useless for anything not currently popular. The only thing I use bittorrent for nowadays is speeding up the download of larger downloads, like Linux install disks. Works well for that. But if there's not at least 15 seeders for the file your looking for, you may never actually be able to finish downloading the thing.
what did you do when starting out?
I'm getting to be an old fart. I was using Napster (early predecessor to bittorrent, now long dead), IRC and random ftp and gopher sites on a dialup modem in the late 90's and into the mid 2000's. Dial-up BBS's were fading out into obscurity, and I hadn't really heard of Usenet (even though that was during it's hayday) and Bittorrent hadn't been invented yet.
Lack of trust, for the most part. I've been screwed over a few too many times for me to rely entirely on someone else. Whether it's Audible claiming I never bought an audiobook I knew damned good and well I did buy or seeing someone else getting their life made difficult by Google, Apple or Microsoft, or "friends" and family making life difficult, I've learned the hard way over the years I can't rely fully on anything not under my control.