I feel personally attacked :-(

According to the Lecture in Recent Runes otters are a kind of fish

Koan ninety-seven: “Do unto otters as you would have them do unto you.” Hmm. No real help there. Besides, he’d occasionally been unsure that he’d written that one down properly, although it certain had worked. He’d always left aquatic mammals well alone, and they had done the same to him.

Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett

The dead don’t talk
But their children don’t forget
So in 20 short years
You could live to regret that

• Jesse Welles, “War Isn’t Murder”

TRoS is the most disappointing thing since my son.

Jokes aside, for me it has 0 rewatch appeal. It’s big and loud and dumb, but it’s not dumb in a fun way. Not even for casual SW fans. There are so many plot holes, and aborted character arcs, that my suspension of disbelief was arrested repeatedly.

I’m an old fan. Not “Ewoks are bad” old, more “Ewoks were included for my demographic” old. I’ve read, and watched, some really dumb Star Wars media. I loved it all. Even the MOD Squad in Book of Boba Fett, as tone deaf as they were, were also fun. It was like a dad joke in the middle of an action movie. Or Leia getting all horned up by Prince Xizor in Shadows of the Empire. (Okay, admittedly, 17 year old me had no problem reading that). It’s always been big and dumb, with plot holes that have to be explained by comics, books, and cartoons later. I was in my twenties for the prequels, and I never jumped on the hate bandwagon. My only real issue was Anakin spewing horny word vomit at Padme while she wore BDSM gear and told him she couldn’t lay pipe because she’s a senator. I still skip the Naboo scenes on rewatch.

I think, for those of us that loath Rise of Skywalker, it comes down to payoff. Return of the Jedi had teddy bears that could capture the best infiltration team the Rebellion had, yes. But it had major payoff too. Han and Leia, Darth Vader’s redemption, the defeat of the Emperor. Revenge of the Sith likewise had big payoff. How Luke and Leia were adopted, Darth Vader becoming more machine than man, Order 66, a 45 minute lightsaber fight over god-damned lava. The story-telling in the movies has degraded with each trilogy, mostly in the exposition department. The OT was best at “show, don’t tell”. All of that aside, TRoS didn’t payoff in a way equal to it’s failings. So the suspension of disbelief has no justifiable reward and is lost. Once that happens, instead of making excuses for plot holes, the movie is watched with a critical eye. And under a critical eye, it’s not a good story. I already have the MCU and all of the Boomer action movies if I want big and dumb. With Star Wars, I also want emotional payoff. I didn’t get it. Not enough to justify the Dumb

I don’t hate Rise of Skywalker. I don’t waste energy hating. It’s just dead to me. Disney stopped making SW trilogies, leaving a massive cliffhanger with Episode 8. Episode 9 doesn’t exist. Just like M. Night’s Avatar

See my op edit and also my reply above

tl;dr: I’m a big dumb dumb that can’t remember names no good

Oh crap, I’m so glad you asked, because I went back to Wikipedia to see why he’s such a bastard.

Turns out I was thinking of Russell Brand. My memory for names/faces is…less than ideal. I’ll edit my original post with a clarification and apology

The Man From UNCLE (2015)

Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer chewing up the scenes, nice fast paced plot, fun and engaging. A real shame it’s a Guy Richie film, but since I don’t pay him when I watch it I really don’t mind 🏴‍☠️

Mea culpa edit: I confused Guy Richie and Russell Brand. I’m dumb and Guy didn’t deserve that. Sorry for the confusion and also go watch The Man From UNCLE. While your at it, go find Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid, where (funny era) Steve Martin does a film noir mashup movie flawlessly

The movie is Batman Returns (1992)

If you’re looking for verification that this is true, exhibit A is that this is Danny De-goddamned-Vito

Best reply yet

Five stars

I have this stuffy. It sits on my bookshelf, and when I’m angry I’ll look at its stupid stupid face until I feel better

He originally appeared here, and Topatoco still sells the stuffy for Kate Beaton

It’s funny. Because of my age and culture growing up I didn’t hear a lot of David Bowie. I heard a lot of his songs as covers first, and in many cases I prefer the covers over the original. Even when I heard the original first I sometimes prefer the cover

I think The Man Who Sold the World is a good example of that. I’ve known it’s a David Bowie song since the first time I heard Kurt say “that was a David Bowie song”. But I will always think of Kurt and Nirvana first when I hear it. Which makes me the Xennial equivalent of those kids that said the Beatles covered the Justin Bieber song Let It Be. And I accept that

Cheers!

I would’ve said Elfwood, since I posted some cringey drawings there in the late 90’s. Since Elfwood is closed, remnants of my presence still exist on TOR.N (theonering.net). It was a pre-movie Lord of the Rings fan website, which, amazingly, still has Barliman’s chat room. I wonder if my Battle of Fanghorn Forest poem is still there somewhere 🤔

ETA: so in answer I’d say about 28 years old. If you’ll excuse me, I need to drink some Ensure and clean my dentures

I am old. Possibly wise. Definitely experienced in life.

Repeat after me:

Stimulants in the morning

Weed in the evening

Water all day

Ahhh, regulatory capture. As American as regime change

In the winter I wake up at 5 and go to sleep at 10. In the summer I wake up at 6 and go to sleep at 11.

I refuse to change my circadian rhythm for an arbitrary secular time change. It’s dumb

Jim is most definitely gonna die for the hive. If the queen thinks jazz is sexy, he’ll die even sooner

Exactly!