My theory is that most people are scared, so they try to belong to a group so that they are less scared. The cohesion in the group is determined by the extent to which its participants are alike. To promote cohesion, people tend to conform to the rest of the group (speaking teh same way, dressing the same way, having similar interests etc.).

Now, if someone does not conform to the group, for example, because they dress differently, or have different interests, then either they are not in the group and should be kept our to promote cohesion (according to these people). If they are already in the group and do not conform, they are either pushed into confirming or cast out of the group, to ensure that cohesion remains intact. This is why some people act like people who are neurodivergent are different, I think.

TL;DR: Many people need to be part of a group to feel safe and feel like people acting differently threatens their group.

I don’t think that is what this person is saying. The people within the organisation that actually have remorse and disagree could be allies. They are in a position to resist if they organise.

Interessant! Ben benieuwd of ze een antwoord gaan vinden.

It was not visible for me for some reason. I edited my comment.

Why leave the post up if you know now that the information in it is wrong? I have a lot of respect for people acknowledging that they fell for something and I try to do that myself as well when it happens. However, by leaving the post up without any correction, you are contributing to more people falling for the same things.

Edit: Apparently it was changed but did not show up for me.

Just a bunch of gibberish

I used to work on an university and they offered Dutch language courses for international students. These courses were very high quality, I heard. I never heard that you have require an a different visum for that in addition to your student visum.

So, you might want to check whether your University or school offers something like that. You could check with someone from the course to make sure.that you are allowed to do the course.

Sure, what is your email address?

If you send me your emailadress I will send you some papers

I am a scientist and you are right. If I get a message asking for my work, I will send it. It will also make me happy that someone is interested. It happens regularly, usually via researchgate.

He is Dutch. I think he did not fully understand the connotations that the word “daddy” has in English. If you made the same joke in Dutch it is still weird, but it feels/sounds less degrading to oneself. It would be more like saying that someone is the wisest or the adult in the situation.

I see no downsides.

Usually I am not so direct as I was with this. I am glad you still considered it respectful. I always try to be respectful, but as English is not my mother tongue I am sometimes scared that I miss some nuance or something and come across differently.

You do not need to apologise either. You have every right to express yourself. Especially when it is something personal. It is not other people’s job not to trigger me. Getting reminded of things like this is just part of life. If you fight it or try to avoid it, it will become worse. So it is fine.

I wish you a lot of success with making more art!

I am sorry to hear that it is part of your life as well. Bullying someone for that is especially harsh. I am very sorry that happened to you.

I think that I reacted this way because I saw other memes and stuff making fun of anorexia or treating it very lightly. That hurts when you are still in mourning. I now understand that this is not what you meant to do and I apologize if I responded too angry.

I think another reason for it is that the picture actually triggered the memory of my sister when she was very ill in the weeks before she died. It is very difficult to explain the mixture of love and horror I felt when seeing her during that time. But your work made me think of it. This is okay, it is part of her and my life and I need to accept that. But I did not expect it and I think that I responded more emotional because of it.

I think it is in a way very good that you are able to express something that is so complex in a way that I responded to it immediately. I think it shows you have talent. I now think it was not a random trigger, but actually recognition of a shared experience.

Lost my little sister to anorexia nervosa. I don’t like that it is presented like a ‘skill’ here. Would you put cancer as a skill in there too?

Ja, klopt! Ik dacht die gaat er wel een keer uitstappen, maar het eerst zo lang mogelijk rekken en heel veel stampij maken om kiezers te winnen. Dat viel mee blijkbaar.

Deze keer vind ik het helemaal niet erg om ongelijk te hebben. Blij dat dit kabinet weg is!

Ik bedoelde het niet als aanval, maar ik kan me voorstellen dat het zo over kwam of in elk geval onprettig over kwam. Ik probeer me een beetje te verzetten tegen het idee dat de instroom van asielzoekers een van grootste problemen is die we hebben in Nederland. Dat is iets dat de rechtse partijen zo framen en dat lijkt heel breed over genomen te worden, vooral ook in de media. Tegelijkertijd is het feitelijk onjuist. Ik vind dat gevaarlijk en als ik dat zie gebeuren probeer ik daar iets tegenover te zetten om dat recht te trekken.

Ik interpreteerde dat je de woningcrisis en asielzoekers als enige twee voorbeelden belangrijke problemen noemde als ook het groter maken van de problemen rondom de instroom van asielzoekers dan dat ze zijn. Als je dat niet zo bedoelde, dan spijt me dat.

Niet iedereen vind hetzelfde belangrijk. Ik vind de woningcrisis inderdaad heel belangrijk. Ik denk dat de asielproblemen gefabriceerd zijn door slecht beleid op het gebied van opvang. Ik vind dat de spreidingswet gewoon uitgevoerd moet worden en er gewoon fatsoenlijk voor mensen gezorgd moet worden. Partijen als de PVV proberen hiervan het belangrijkste thema te maken, maar doen alsof het een stuk belangrijker is dan het is in mijn ogen. Ik zou het dus zeker niet op hetzelfde niveau zetten als de woningcrisis.

Ik heb me er echt de hele dag aan geërgerd dat de voltallige NL pers zich laat lenen voor deze reclamestunt. Het zijn lege woorden puur om aandacht te trekken en zijn kiezers gerust te stellen dat hij echt wel een stoere jongen is. Geen idee waarom het daar de hele dag over moest gaan gisteren.

Liever niet hetzelfde als de SGP. Ze hebben hiernaast nog meer enge standpunten.