I do wish there was something omnipresent and beneficial. It would be comforting. But we are here because we do not agree with that concept.
And that's been the 'problem' that most of us here face. We strive to be decent people while defining our own moralities based on other principles we find to be more reliable.
On the other hand, not all Christians would be good or kind or forgiving. That isn't something that comes from a worldview.
Even if they are truly convinced that the Christian God is real and omnipresent, there has been no external force in their lives to command them to be better, so they don't.
These changes come about when personal experience drives the change.
As such, it is up to us to push the world to be the utopia we wish it to be. This is all we have and are likely to have.
I'm sure this doesn't count, but my WoW life was utterly ideal, aside from me sucking at being a rogue.
I played in the same dining room as several (4-6) friends and we grouped up constantly.
But I also didn't care one tiny fuck about the endgame grind. I hit level 60 (the max at the time), shouted "I win," and sold my account to a friend for forty bucks.
My current life, I'm not really a gamer other than mobile crap and D&D these days. Too old, tired, busy.
I imagine there are plenty of service-related cancers, and they likely pay for services received elsewhere if that expertise isn't available at a VA hospital.
We were in the same town and met after maybe two weeks of messaging each other... and we just clicked. (Views on politics, religion, drugs/alcohol, pets, and lifestyle were all compatible, easy to just be around each other, etc.)
I'm 51 now and this is my fourth relationship. It's never been easy to find someone I match up with. (For context, I'm tall, balding, and quite fat, but I think I'm pretty attractive/do well with what I have. I didn't always have that confidence in myself. Don't beat yourself up, it really doesn't help.)
It's also worth saying that I was in a terribly dark place when I met my wife, but I put myself out there anyway. Working on yourself is a great priority, without question, but I found someone who accepted me at my lowest, helped me to be better, and I was then able to reward her by being a good husband. Having been through that (and other dark times) has made us stronger together.
So my advice is:
That old canard, 'Be attractive. Don't be unattractive' is completely true. Play up on what makes you attractive, and don't mess that up by being rude or smelling bad.
Show interest in public. By that I mean be jovial and open. Notice those who respond in kind. If you can, strike up a tiny conversation. Build those skills in little moments. Maybe this will go somewhere, maybe not, but you're learning to be more open.
Be social, and some of that can include online dating. If you're doing online dating, try to meet early, as that's where you'll be able to find if you click with someone. You just can't know until you meet, in my opinion. Plus long online-only relationships involve you envisioning the ideal of a partner rather than seeing if you can live with them.
Put yourself out there! You can't get better about approaching women if you don't keep trying. Don't hit on everyone you meet, of course, but I've known really ugly guys who always had a cute girlfriend (Also a couple schlubby guys who married absolutely gorgeous women, somehow) and several solid couples where neither are conventionally attractive, but they have love and a great life together.
And that last line should be your goal, a great partner and a great life.
This was back in 2000, had just gone through a divorce. Had gotten a new pad with a friend and started hanging out with his stoner buddies. (Most of them are still close friends to this day.)
I took something like five hits of acid. I'd tried it only once before and it didn't too much for me, so I upper the dosage.
I still didn't get visuals, but it was an interesting trip.
A friend of mine was on the couch flipping through cable and settled on a claymation Don Quixote, which was just perfect for a melting reality. Thumbprints in the clay, rough work.
And I did something really goddamned stupid. I took out my new fancy chisels to practice on a block of wood.
Thankfully I didnt cut myself. I was being careful and just trying to gouge out a volcano on the end of a block of pine, twisting my arm to turn the block.
I went through some deep internal stuff about how I treated myself and women, why I'd been alone for so long.
In the weeks to follow I asked out four women I had crushes on and was shot down each time, but the point was I held onto this shit rather than ever expressed any interest. It was really useful.
So I'm coming off the trip and I'm sitting at my computer, and my hand just slides off the keyboard.
Repeatedly.
I'd held my arm in that extreme twisted position so long whilst contemplating my love life, set to claymation Don Quixote, that I almost gave myself fucking nerve damage.
I couldn't possibly say from this post whether she genuinely cares about you or not.
But at the moment she is being blatantly disrespectful of who you are and how you see yourself, even if she is trying to help.
It could be she doesn't realize she is being hurtful and could embrace you for who you are with a bit of prodding... and the other extreme is that she is someone who will never try to see your side, for whichever reasons have made this so ingrained to her.
I can't know, because I don't know her or her motivations. I may be naive but I trust that she does love you, even if she's imperfect in showing it and maybe even if she's a bigot.
Love is weird like that, and you can still love people who don't understand. Hell, you can even love people you hate, but I dont think she hates you.
I think she cares deeply and is trying to help... and doing a terrible job of it, but she's still trying, which would mean that she does indeed love you.
Ooh, good answer!
Those books were so important to my teenage self. Such a shame Card himself is such a whackjob.