Grab a head of romaine next time, slice it up and rinse it and have it in the fridge so you can grab a handful to add to your sandwich or bed under your hot chicken to catch the juices. Maybe grab an apple while you're in the produce section.
For those of you with MAGA family members, and who might live in states which require ID to vote: most people might pat a pocket to check that they have their wallet but aren't likely to check their driver's license is actually in there. Getting stuck without it at the polls might not completely stop them voting but we all have seen conservatives change their tune when something impacts them. The license could turn up at someplace like their grocery store...
I once did a project with my 3rd graders where we looked at a bunch of poems and cartoons from The New Yorker and then they tried to do one of each. It seemed like almost all of the adult poems had death as a major theme, so I specifically told them something like "that's a topic for old people, try to write about Life instead." I sent them outside to look at something in "Nature" (well, a suburban school playground) and come up with a metaphor for their poem. The only rules for the cartoon were, one picture, one line, and both should be necessary. Humor preferred but optional, same for social commentary. They came out surprisingly well as a whole, and I bound them as "The Third Grader" for the class library.
Doesn't really fit the requirements but actor/singer/guitarist David Peter Capaldi probably still has his old sonic screwdriver tucked in a pocket just in case.
Nobody should be preparing food on an uncleaned counter in the first place. Or directly on the counter at all. Store your cutting boards vertically (I put them between the canisters and the wall) to keep all kinds of dirt off them. Cat or no cat, but especially if you have what's essentially an inquisitive toddler who can leap 4+ feet and climb to the ceiling.
With pull tabs you'd still need to hold the can down anyway.