“What happened we dropped out of warp, report!”

“Sir, something moved the mouse”

Keywords.

Flash my piece - white in the face - fuck - real quick

What Founding Fathers would have to say.

“Did you not read all ‘men’ are created equal. That did not include slaves or women.”

I get shit all the time for trying to challenge the status quo. I know for a fact everyone will be happy once I’m gone. I’ll be happy once I’m gone.

Unfortunately I work in dystopia USA and am a corpo whore for healthcare because I have a family to support.

The more I learn about owls the less I understand about owls.

5 - As the goblin lays facedown in a pool of blood. You discover a bucket full of candy and a cracked plastic mask with the same expression of the goblin you just fought.

“I strike at the bandit with my axe”

“Give me a to hit roll”

“Natural 20!”

“You cleave both targets in half, blood sprays everywhere!”

“Both targets?”

Autobots roll out!

My gender is car, but sometimes I identify as robot.

Well I think we established you can’t stick your dick in it. So I’m out of ideas.

Quentin Tarantino likes this post.

Lemmy has a lot of Linux users. Saying you use Windows is like being a heritic to the faith.

Was redoing the floors in one my rooms, I had all the air vent covers off. Guess where the cat decided to go?

Was like the god damn scene from poltergeist where you could hear it all over the house but didn’t know where exactly the meows orginated from echoing through the ductwork.

I forgot how I coaxed it to an exit, but I do recall grabbing it by the scruff and yanking it out as the cat tried to scamper back in. Went to go clean-up my scratches and the damn thing knocked over what I blocked the vent with and squeezed back in.

At that point I was tempted to just turn on the furnace heat and call it a day. But didn’t want to deal with the stink.

Windows 12?

It’s the simple pleasures.

“I’m subscribed to your mom’s OnlyFans
I spent five bucks a month to get pictures of her flappy giblets”

Well I just saved it to deploy anytime I see “deer god” from now on.