Womp, and I cannot stress this next part enough, womp.

I’m back! Sort of. I spend way too much time on bsky these days, although it’s not looking so rosy anymore. Also, I’m trans and kobold now and it fucking rocks!

They have to keep pushing on this because they’re all invested up to their necks. The allure of AI is that it offers to replace all human labor for a fraction of the cost, but AI only knows what it scrapes, and the models are starting to poison each other because the net is increasingly flooded with AI bullshit. When it fails, I think the entire tech sector’s going to implode.

I think there’s still a problem in that you need to do some things that are undesired in order to maintain yourself - Household chores, for example. Some things are non negotiable, and for those you need to be able to force yourself, as unpleasant as it is.

Juicero-ass headset.

The thought crossed my mind but I’ve had panic attacks like that before, some a lot more severe and in public, mostly about how “this is the best I can do and it sucks and it only gets worse from here.” Which, incidentally, ended up being mostly true due to external factors. Like I work a job I don’t hate and make decent money but it’s not enough because housing is unaffordable everywhere.

I think I’d be doing a lot better if the entire United States weren’t staring down the barrel of yet another once-in-a-lifetime financial crisis. Like when are we ever not in crisis at this point?

I mean, it was a little after my time but Vine never got abused by rage bait/content churn and fine tuned by the platform specifically to hijack your attention span and feed you ads.

I don’t want everything I post here to be bad news. I’m a month and change in on HRT and my tits are already somewhere between D and F cups, and my hair’s growing back in on top thanks to the finasteride and minoxidil. I already look way more androgynous than I did before, except for the beard.

Had a panic attack Saturday night. I was deeply consumed by the fear that everyone in my life pretends to love me in order to receive my support and I will be dropped like a hot rock the minute I fall off the hamster wheel, which will probably be sooner rather than later given the imminent collapse of the U.S. economy.

I dunno though, it’s kind of… Comforting, in a way? I can see that the light at the end of the tunnel is actually a train but once it hits, nobody’s going to blame me for how I fell apart. Or, they will, but they’ll be wrong.

I spent three years miserable on the mechanical engineering track that was colloquially known as “pre-business” before I ended up with an MIS degree at 23 after a hard pivot and an extra year and change of classes. I’d be hard pressed to say I’m ‘happy’ today, but the degree has afforded me the ability to live quasi-comfortably on my own.

I can’t believe a Big n’ Tasty used to be a buck with prices the way they are.

Yeah, I think people forget that the definition of a weed is simply “A plant that is unwanted.” Himalayan blackberry in the PNW is often a weed and it grows aggressively in a lot of backyards here, but lots of people keep it around because… blackberries.

We never will because it’d be the end of late stage capitalism and that means billionaires can’t have their yachts and jets, and we just can’t have that.

Technically speaking, we abstained our way into it.

Half to a third of the U.S. The rest of us know full well how bad this is. I really hope Cali puts its tariff exemptions in place and Oregon and Washington follow suit because otherwise we’re going to see the worst recession in the country’s history

Bad. The guarantee of a fifth major financial crisis in my lifetime tends not to be great for the old mental health.

Two inch gap between the plywood rectangle wall and door so everyone can see you taking a shit? A foot between the bottom of the door and the floor so stupid kids can pop their heads under and keep you company? Say no more, I got you covered!

It really is impressed upon me how cheaply every public bathroom is constructed. I feel like somebody could sneeze too hard and the whole thing would jostle apart.

First week on Spiro and E. My skin is already a lot softer, I think? And it’s hard to tell if it’s real or just placebo, but I kind of do feel a little more ‘me.’ I still don’t like looking in the mirror though.

If the bar lets Nazis in, it’s a Nazi bar. Good on them for refusing to be a Nazi bar.

Started HRT yesterday. I’m really, really hoping that I can end a decade-long plus dissociation and stop feeling like a walking ghost. Here’s hoping.