• 6 Posts
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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • Been trying to meditate unsuccessfully for years now. At this point the frustration of always failing isn’t even worth trying anymore but I still do in the vain hopes that “one day it will finally click”. I mean, that’s easier to accept than the more probable possibility that I’m just a fundamentally broken human who can’t even get basic functioning right.




  • I’ve been struggling with my mental health for a long time and I need some type of “win” or “hope”, but I currently have none sadly.

    I had a coworker I was somewhat close to and could vent to. She just got fired (budget cuts).

    I mustered the courage to finally set up therapy again after many years, after a few very negative experiences with “caregivers”. First meeting was pretty awesome, second was cancelled by them due to illness. It happens, no judgment there. But they would call back before last weekend for a new appointment, and never did. I just got shadowdumped again, didn’t I? What the hell is so offputting about me that even people who get paid to help me won’t give me the light of day?

    As for a future, that just got robbed from us. 20 years plus if you’re 40, more if you’re younger. We will never get those years back.

    On top of that a myriad of mental and physical aillents, medical debt and no sight for any realistic kind of relief in the near future and… yeah, it’s really hard to keep finding reasons to keep going when life is really firing those melon-sized lemons at ya with the speed of a vulcan cannon.