Kolibri [she/her]

I really wish I had someone to talk about this stuff mainly about suicidal thoughts and a few other things. I’m tired of constantly dealing with them and it would just be nice to talk about them. I know hexbear is not the place for this and only mental health professionals should be dealing with this. I’m aware and I’m not in crises or anything. And I try not to talk about this stuff on this site.

Anyways it just more like, it’s just tiring constantly dealing with this. I also hate how like, how suicide thoughts are just viewed as fleeting. Temporary. Short term. But what if someone has been dealing with it for the majority of their life? It’s not so temporary/short term, now is it? Hasn’t been for me! If anything just feels like a part of myself at this point and it’s normal every week to get those feeling of wanting death. Would be abnormal for me to not get those feelings every day, every week, every year.

I did try seeing a therapist for this last year, despite some of my trust issues with the mental health system, due to mental health professionals being very quick to jump the gun, by involuntary detaining you by siccing the police and forcing expensive medical bills onto you. Anyways she was very understanding, but like. I had to stop seeing her since my dad was getting angry that I was bothering to even see a therapist again. And it just not, really worth the conflict with him.

Just whatever. I guess it just sort of like, I hate what feels like. I don’t know how to put into words. Just more so like, feeling unable to talk about stuff and have to bottle it up and let it eat at me. Since there no one to really talk about it and open up about it all freely. I’m not going to talk to my friends about this, they don’t know how to handle it and it is unfair to them. I’m not going to talk to someone I don’t know freely about these things because I don’t know them also I don’t want to randomly burden someone. I’m not going to talk to a mental health professional due to that distrust, unless if I feel like trying again, which I don’t. Also like a lot of stuff for it is generally for short term, not long term. Anyways there just no one. But myself. At least I can talk to myself about these things freely without worry, it’s what I do most of my days anyways just constantly talking to myself.

Maybe one day I’ll figure it all out, or maybe not, maybe it will just always be like this. I don’t know.

If, as Hegel would put it, the surplus therefore re-reflects itself in itself out of the rate of profit, or, put differently, the surplus is more closely characterised by the rate of profit, it appears as a surplus produced by capital above its own value over a year, or in a given period of circulation.

Although the rate of profit thus differs numerically from the rate of surplus-value, while surplus-value and profit are actually the same thing and numerically equal, profit is nevertheless a converted form of surplus-value, a form in which its origin and the secret of its existence are obscured and extinguished. In effect, profit is the form in which surplus-value presents itself to the view, and must initially be stripped by analysis to disclose the latter. In surplus-value, the relation between capital and labour is laid bare; in the relation of capital to profit, i.e., of capital to surplus-value that appears on the one hand as an excess over the cost-price of commodities realised in the process of circulation and, on the other, as a surplus more closely determined by its relation to the total capital, the capital appears as a relation to itself, a relation in which it, as the original sum of value, is distinguished from a new value which it generated. One is conscious that capital generates this new value by its movement in the processes of production and circulation. But the way in which this occurs is cloaked in mystery and appears to originate from hidden qualities inherent in capital itself.

[…]This mode of production produces a progressive relative decrease of the variable capital as compared to the constant capital, and consequently a continuously rising organic composition of the total capital. The immediate result of this is that the rate of surplus-value, at the same, or even a rising, degree of labour exploitation, is represented by a continually falling general rate of profit. (We shall see later [Present edition: Ch. XIV. — Ed.] why this fall does not manifest itself in an absolute form, but rather as a tendency toward a progressive fall.) The progressive tendency of the general rate of profit to fall is, therefore, just an expression peculiar to the capitalist mode of production of the progressive development of the social productivity of labour. This does not mean to say that the rate of profit may not fall temporarily for other reasons. But proceeding from the nature of the capitalist mode of production, it is thereby proved logical necessity that in its development the general average rate of surplus-value must express itself in a falling general rate of profit. Since the mass of the employed living labour is continually on the decline as compared to the mass of materialised labour set in motion by it, i.e., to the productively consumed means of production, it follows that the portion of living labour, unpaid and congealed in surplus-value, must also be continually on the decrease compared to the amount of value represented by the invested total capital. Since the ratio of the mass of surplus-value to the value of the invested total capital forms the rate of profit, this rate must constantly fall.

Even if the exploited mass of the working population were to remain constant, and only the length and intensity of the working-day were to increase, the mass of the invested capital would have to increase, since it would have to be greater in order to employ the same mass of labour under the old conditions of exploitation after the composition of capital changes.

Since the development of the productiveness and the correspondingly higher composition of capital sets in motion an ever-increasing quantity of means of production through a constantly decreasing quantity of labour, every aliquot part of the total product, i.e., every single commodity, or each particular lot of commodities in the total mass of products, absorbs less living labour, and also contains less materialised labour, both in the depreciation of the fixed capital applied and in the raw and auxiliary materials consumed. Hence every single commodity contains a smaller sum of labour materialised in means of production and of labour newly added during production. This causes the price of the individual commodity to fall. But the mass of profits contained in the individual commodities may nevertheless increase if the rate of the absolute or relative surplus-value grows. The commodity contains less newly added labour, but its unpaid portion grows in relation to its paid portion. However, this is the case only within certain limits. With the absolute amount of living labour newly incorporated in individual commodities decreasing enormously as production develops, the absolute mass of unpaid labour contained in them will likewise decrease, however much it may have grown as compared to the paid portion. The mass of profit on each individual commodity will shrink considerably with the development of the productiveness of labour, in spite of a growth in the rate of surplus-value. And this reduction, just as the fall in the rate of profit, is only delayed by the cheapening of the elements of constant capital and by the other circumstances set forth in the first part of this book, which increase the rate of profit at a given, or even falling, rate of surplus-value.