It’s a difficult and tetchy issue at the best of times, but I’ve got to say I’m also in the camp that believes that issues of difference need to be worked on from both sides. My partner has ADHD and often interrupts me, which is a pretty big trigger for my CPTSD, so we work through that together as best we can. I know that she struggles to control interrupting me, just as she knows that I struggle to control getting triggered when she does so. We have a common understanding and both work on being accommodating to each others’ needs. Over time, we’ve struck a great balance that works well by meeting each other in the middle as best we can.

I also have coeliac disease. While I get frustrated that many restaurants, events, friends’ houses etc. don’t have gluten free options, I also understand that it’s my responsibility to manage my disease. Sometimes that means bringing my own food; sometimes that means going hungry. I can’t walk through the world demanding that everyone provide an experience that caters to my disease (like a good number of coeliacs do). I would feel selfish doing so.

Society is a co-op game. We all have our strengths and weaknesses; our abilities and disabilities; our positives and negatives. We all have to make accommodations to one another to achieve the best outcome for everyone. None of us have the right to dictate that others cater to us unless we’re also willing to cater to them.

As a side note; ADHD does not imply that a person is neurologically unable to understand social cues. Other forms of neurodivergence experience this to varying degrees, but that’s not an immutable criteria of ADHD.