“I can fix her!”

Yeah, that’s how I read this. She’s not being punished, she’s crying tears of joy as Jesus makes her Dutch!

You’d be surprised. I’ve had people absolutely not listening to me in the past. It’s not overly common, but definitely not unheard of.

People will literally get in my car expecting that I teach them to park then take them for their driving test after just a few lessons.

Me, a driving instructor: “If you don’t want to learn, there’s the door. No. No need to slow down or stop, I have my own brake pedal here, thank you”

Which are also tax avoidance schemes

Daddy loves plowing the soil (the soil is your mom)

Do these tests take place with people watching? If not, could you not bullshit by saying “Yeah I’ll do it”, then lock the parents out from seeing anything before having a chat with the girl about how bullshit it is, then bullshit even more by simply telling the parents “yep, totally a virgin, absolutely a virgin”?

That said, now I read that out loud I realise that’s probably way too risky and could cost you your license.

My main memory of oldschoolcool was that one time the F1 community posted a picture of Romain Grosjean from the late '00s and convinced the subreddit that it was Jean-Pierre Jabouille; a different F1 driver from the '70s. That was fun.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/5iz6c1/f1_driver_70s/

[careless whisper intensifies]

“I love my body how many industries would go broke” -women

Non-American here: Colorado?

I don’t know many American symbols, but I’m sure that C flag is Colorado. Is it Colorado?

Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!

Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

I mean if I went round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had thrown a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!

No no, see, it’s an upright “s” with a sideways “s” going through it. I’ve also got an alternative:

Turn our pawns into the mice from Chu-Chu rocket.

Don’t kink shame!

It is assault, though.

Kid acted maliciously towards the cat. It’s not like the kid accidentally knocked a bottle of water and some of it splashed the cat. No. There was a conscious decision to torment the cat by deliberately throwing water over it.

Punishment fits the crime here.

If people can’t love you because they can’t accept that Fluttershy is best pony then that’s their loss.

You still have us. Brohoof /)

I hope this came from my comment in the other thread about napkin art. I love these. We should keep going ❤️

It’s impossible to talk about this subject without giving away my entire birthday, but - in short - yes, I was born in 1988. And the rest of the numbers in my birthday have other significant historical meanings.

You don’t need any artistic skills to make a comic. Draw that shit on a napkin for all I care - if it’s a good joke, we’ll laugh. In fact, drawing it on a napkin would instantly increase the amount of charm ten-fold.