My wife is enby (genderqueer she/they) and had actually explored her gender for a few years before I did (though I didn't know it was quite so far, I thought they were just trying out a new style), so my situation won't mirror yours exactly or be super relatable. I first started questioning my gender in mid 2024. For the 3 years prior, I had been just saying I'm "gender non-conforming" and would wear stuff like skirts around the house and little decorations and clips and stuff in my hair. I basically just brought it up as "I've been questioning my gender."

They said they knew for sure as soon as I started talking about questioning since I didn't immediately have a solid answer. "I couldn't be trans, right? Nah. I'm just a guy who likes feminine things... Right?" Apparently isn't something cis men generally ask themselves.

So... She decided not to break the egg prime directive, and some two months later after getting sick of hearing me hem and haw about it, asked me if I wanted to try some things out. "How would you feel if I said you're my wife?" ... And my heart skipped a beat. Breath caught. I may have cried a little. They pulled me into their arms and have been my biggest supporter ever since.

I share that because I know I'm in a unique situation of being so very supported - but I know seeing hopeful and good stories can help others so I wanted to share.