A buddhist vegan goth with questionable humour.

  • 0 Posts
  • 374 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: June 19th, 2023
  • Gloomy@mander.xyztome_irl@lemmy.world•me_irl
    14·
    4 days ago

    Sure, I’d be interested if you think this is a broken plate situation or not.

    We left the pub as a group of four: her, me, and two male friends of hers. I was shitfaced as fuck, like on the verge of not beeing able to walk properly anymore. I didn’t chose to get shitfaced too. I was on a diet and skipped lunch to “afford” the calories of a few drinks. Turned out drinking and an empty stomach are a bad combination. Who would’ve thought, right? I ended up beeing way more wasted then I usually would have been. That is not any excuse for anything, I just bring it up because it is part of the facts

    We approached the local train station to go home. Our train was allready standing and waiting to leave, but it would do so for another 20 minutes.

    As we arrived at the train station I asked to sit down in the train, as I was feeling realy dizzy and increasingly cold (it was winter). My friend said she’d like us to wait outside at the station plattform and enter the train just before its final take of time.

    I don’t recall much of the details, but an argument broke out about this, me wanting to go into the train and her wanting to wait outside. It was not a screaming match and not aggressiv, just a normal discussion (this has been confirmed by one of her male friends later, so you don’t need to trust my drunken recollection here).

    Since there were two male friends of hers with us, it wasn’t an issue of her waiting alone at the plattform if I had left. I honestly don’t recall her reasoning, or any details of the discussion, nor why we didn’t simply split up. The argument ended with me beeing frustrated and saying: “You can sit around in the cold or on that guys dick, for all I care, but I’m going into the train now.”

    I headed for the train and all three of them followed. We waited together until the train took of and everybody went their merry way. I have no recollection of any conversation that happens about the comment on the way home. She approached me a couple of days later and said that she took great offence.

    And just to make this clear: This was the single thing that lead to her ending our friendship. It wasn’t the boiling over point, it wasn’t the last stupid thing in a long list of stupid things. A week earlier she had thanked me for beeing such a good friend.

    I honestly have to admit, I still don’t get it. I see how it was a stupid thing to say and of course I see how it was offensiv. I still don’t see why it was bad enoth to end a friendship over, and she never explained it to me. I never tried to defend what I said, I apologised as soon as I was made aware of it (I don’t remember the incident in great detail. The above telling is put together from my memory fragments and the telling of her two male friends, whom I independently asked to fill me in on what had happend).

  • Gloomy@mander.xyztome_irl@lemmy.world•me_irl
    10·
    4 days ago

    Have I moved past their betrayal? I think so. Have I forgiven them? Yes. Do I want those people in my life again? no. never.

    That’s exactly what I was tyring to get at. Forgiving is something you do for yourself. That doesn’t mean you have to forget about what happend nor not let it have consequences. But holding to the grudge will do nothing but harm yourself.

  • Gloomy@mander.xyztome_irl@lemmy.world•me_irl
    15·
    4 days ago

    I stopped drinking alcohol after the event for good, so there’s that. It’s not that I haven’t learned my lesson from it. (Not drinking not beeing the only one, but i won’t go into more personal details here).

    And I wouldn’t call it a character flaw. More like an approach on how to handle live. And in this case, I think she didn’t chose a good approach for herself.

  • Gloomy@mander.xyztome_irl@lemmy.world•me_irl
    423·
    4 days ago

    I have encountered this analogy irl. I was pretty drunk and said something distasteful to a friend. She ended our friendship over it and caused the group we were in to split into factions. We tried talking it over, but after I made all efforts I could to apologise, she responded with the plate analogy.

    Honestly I thinks its a bad position to take. People have wronged me too over the years. Forgiving them, regardless of them apologising or not, is, in my experience, the better option for yourself.

    The hate you carry with you if you don’t doesn’t do anything to them, but it eats you up from the inside. Forgiving somebody frees you from that. It’s not about forgetting what people have done to you (and maybe choosing not to keep them in your life depending on how bad it was that they did), it’s about not carrying the hate with you trough the years.

  • Gloomy@mander.xyztopolitics @lemmy.world•MAGA melts down over ‘WOKE MARXIST POPE’ who is a ‘Never Trumper liberal’
    1·
    12 days ago

    That is a very protestant view of the afterlife. Some Christians share it, some don’t.

    Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me. …whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me. Matthew 25:41–43 (NIV)

    Be kind to others or burn forever. At least thats how I would read this.