I always chat to scammers when they message me. A lot of them ask for Steam cards and I take immense delight in sending them the “I choo choo choose you” card from The Simpsons. Sad that this is coming to an end.

You’re kinda confirming my pet theory that the “I don’t do small talk” people are all cunts

Kids have always been scared of being awkward and not fitting in, but I can understand why the internet has sent it into overdrive for gen Z. I’ve had younger people use “cringe” as an insult at me, but I’m too old for that to affect me. I just feel pity that they’re so scared of being themselves.

On a more positive note, I know a secondary school teacher who got good results out of saying “Well that’s embarrassing” whenever her pupils were being twats.

What about serial killing

Are you saying you wrote a song and Facebook secretly listened in through your phone and gave the song to your favourite band and they released it? Because that sounds like you have serious mental delusions. This does not happen.

Oh shit

You can scran some scran (food)

There actually are things keeping that from happening but I don’t want to get into it

Ur mum

I thought only humans went to heaven. It’s a real can of worms otherwise. Do worms go to heaven? Mosquitos? Bacteria? Viruses?

What makes me sad about heaven is that there must be a cutoff in the monkey -> human evolution chain. What happened to the very first human that met that cutoff? They’ll be in heaven but their parents are too monkey and didn’t make it :(

Well I know what to do if my gardener buddy ever pisses me off

Obviously kids will still try and get round it, but an outright phone ban makes it a lot easier for teachers to police. If you see a phone, it’s confiscated.

Vs

“Put your phone away in class”

“Sorry Miss”

5 seconds later

“I said put it away!”

No

Why are you posting this here. I’m a Burnley fan. I thought this was a safe space.

It’s his fault for eating cereal though

If she was a real Megadeth fan she’d have hair like this

Because she says enter sandman

Hah sorry bud, I didn’t actually downvote it and I’m sure I couldn’t do better. Just offering an explanation to the lost soul above

Oh I can think of so many reasons to downvote this!

The whole “name 3 songs” thing is sexist, it’s usually said to women in band shirts. It’s boring and old.

It’s had a shit filter applied to her face. I see the exact same face everywhere. She looks like a Barbie doll.

Why metal guys? Are they more shallow than the general population? I didn’t know that was a stereotype and I’ve been to my share of metal festivals.

But that’s nothing compared to the fact it’s not very funny. It’s Facebook tier humour. Haha men are blind when boobies are involved.