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FRYD

@ FRYD @sh.itjust.works

Posts
3
Comments
187
Joined
12 mo. ago

F R Y D

  • What were the first outfits/pieces of clothing you got to feel more aligned with your gender?

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  • I’ve been building up my wardrobe through a combination of thrift stores and depop. So far everything has been cheap with the most expensive purchases being a pair of heels and a pair of boots that were $60 each.

    For inspiration into what kind of styles you might wanna try, I’d recommend pinterest. Scroll through #outfitinspo and as you like stuff the algo will feed you more stuff. Check the hashtags on posts to see what kind of styles they are and look into it more. You can also check out some of the stuff on the aesthetics wiki to get some idea of different styles. Personally, I aim for alt, y2k, and boho styles.

  • How did you meet your significant person?

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  • I met my partner in a queer bar for a kink event. We made eye contact a few times and when I approached them, we started complaining about our chronic pain and fucked up bodies.

  • When shopping, especially in fashion, do you take brand into consideration?

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  • If I’m shopping online I try to avoid anything fast fashion. It’s usually made worse and mostly polyester. Otherwise there are few small designer brands I check sales for regularly.

    In person, brands aren’t as important as checking the seams and the materials tag.

  • How do you decide if you are living a “good life?”

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  • I used to say my goal is to live hard and die young. I’m not so nihilistic anymore, but I’d still say I’m living a good life if I’m pushing myself to my limits to have fun and experience new things.

  • Hello! Wondering what your experiences with taking hormones has been like

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  • Four weeks in. Estradiol pills, 2mg, twice a day sublingually. At around two weeks I noticed my nipples had gotten bigger and much more sensitive and my skin is much softer.

    Now four weeks in, I have the beginning of breast development, my chest occasionally hurts, I’m much more confident and a good bit happier and weight redistribution has started, but not much. My face looks a bit different. I get carded every time I try to buy alcohol (I’m 28 btw) and multiple bartenders and convenience store clerks have expressed astonishment at how young I look. I’ve gained nearly 10 lbs, my hips and chest are a bit squishy now when they were pretty bony previously. I’ve also been hungrier and eating more. My muscles are softer and more squishy now too, not quite atrophied, but I’m a very active person. They’re less defined even when I flex now.

    It’s apparently hitting me much faster than is common, but I have a friend who had a similar timeline and the doc seems to think it’s fine.

    Edit: I forgot to mention that my dreams are different now and my libido has dropped considerably as well.

  • Is it normal to have recurring thoughts of "can I kill myself yet"?

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  • Im not a professional, but from what I understand there’s like stages: ideation, planning, preparation, and attempt. or it’s something like that. What you’re describing sounds like ideation to me, which is pretty common in depressed people.

    I’ve been at that point where you’re just waiting for the right time or a good enough reason. I think asking yourself that is a good reflective moment and an indicator that it’s time to either seek help or look to change something up in your life if getting help isn’t a viable option.

  • What’s your favorite sad song?

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  • Keia by Colliding With Mars

  • Will the AI bubble burst will actually help?

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  • I don’t know about “help”, but generative AI will essentially vanish. It’s wildly unprofitable and GPUs are an asset with short shelf lives and depreciating value. When VC funds dry up and the bubble pops, data centers will be turned off and gutted to try and recover what little money the owners can get. That means all of the stuff that’s impossible to self host will disappear unlikely to ever return and no one with money will want to invest in the technology for a very long time if ever again. Stuff like video generation, image generation, vibe coding, all of it is way too token heavy to be self hosted.

    Non-text AI slop will probably go away for a long time, maybe forever and that’s pretty good. The problem is that the entire tech industry is over leveraged in AI and VC money is running out. AI was something like 40% of the US gdp last year. When that goes away, the results will be calamitous. VC is tied up in AI and AI based startups that are unable to sell, private equity is tied up in AI and tons of small business with little to no growth, and the tech industry employs tons of people who get paid well and are a large part of keeping the service economy growing. Without AI the economy is gonna crash and take out huge chunks of all of these things and many, many people are going to lose their jobs.

  • What are your Valentine's Day plans?

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  • Me and my partner are going a little punk rock show in a bowling alley.

  • For those who tried to enter the dating pool, how did it go?

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  • “Enter[ing] the dating pool” puts way too much pressure on the situation. I just go out looking to meet interesting people and make friends. Eventually I’ll meet someone where things feel different and we’ll both want to get to know each other more than most of the people we meet. That’s how I met my current partner four months ago.

    That said, we did meet while going to events in our local kink scene. That’s a more unique environment where everyone understands that conversations have a high likelihood to be sexual and any kind of judgmental attitude is frowned upon by the community. It makes it way easier to be comfortable and confident in a conversation.

    Dating apps are evil. I avoid them like the plague. Yeah it may feel “safer” to swipe through strangers on an app, but you’re really just trading your mental health (and whatever information the corpos collect) for the illusion of safety. Going out and putting yourself out there is hard and scary, but it gets easier over time and the results are much better.

  • My therapist says she might have to report my abusive family to the authorities. How do I avoid being reported so the cops don't show up and make everything worse?

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  • I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I was in a psych ward and my caseworker wanted to send me to a shelter instead of going back to my family. At the time I worried that would just make everything worse, but I’ve been questioning whether I should’ve done it or not for a while since everything got worse anyway. Obviously I don’t know your whole situation, but sometimes people are just unstable and will get worse with your influence or not.

    As for how to hide it, I don’t know exactly what kinda wording you could use to talk about things. You could just avoid getting into detail about what your family actually does and just focus on how they make you feel.

  • Why is the world so cruel

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  • It’s not totally clear in your story, but is “A” doing this just to mess with these guys or is it like a closeted gay thing? The first case is kinda messed up, but the second is more complicated. Either way, drugs, alcohol and partying makes everyone do stupid stuff. I pretty much always advise my friends not to take anything that happens at a club too seriously if they’re new to it. On its own, the idea of flirting with people and sharing your number while you’re seriously fucked up and then going “oh shit” and blocking them the next morning doesn’t seem especially cruel to me.

  • When someone's telling you something in great detail that you already know about, do you: A) patiently listen and let them finish?

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  • I rarely find myself in this scenario, but depending on the situation I’ll either nod along and wait to add any points I have or will cut them off with a question.

  • Outside of politics, have you ever had a position on something that you have doubled down on and refused to move an inch on to the point of upsetting someone? Were you right?

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  • I’m not really blaming anyone. It’s a complicated idea. I don’t expect every person to philosophize about the problem. Ultimately I’m just one person who gets uncomfortable when I consider what a pets life really is. It’s not a high priority to me and I don’t get preachy about it. There are more pressing issues in the world to me.

    To your point of an “absolutely right way to live”, I agree, but my belief is that living things should ideally have the freedom to choose how they want to live rather than someone assert their personal opinion of the correct way to live. Pets however have absolutely no freedom to choose how to live. They don’t choose their owners nor the conditions they live in nor can they truly do anything about how they are treated.

    The fact that they are (sometimes) happy makes it an easier pill to swallow except for the fact that their happiness comes largely from a variety of factors that limit their perspective. That’s not even considering the unknowable number of mistreated pets there are or innocent creatures that lived entire lives of misery and abuse due to uncaring owners.

  • Outside of politics, have you ever had a position on something that you have doubled down on and refused to move an inch on to the point of upsetting someone? Were you right?

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  • I think having pets is fundamentally unethical. Your dog lives in a tiny fraction of the world with absolutely no agency and only “loves” you because it is literally programmed to after centuries of breeding for traits that promote that. Your pet did not choose you and if it “loves” you at all, it’s only because they are utterly dependent on you because they have been taken far from where their species can survive or that place has been ruined by humanity. Animals cannot consent period and by extension cannot and never do consent to being property.

    I’m not a PETA freak. I don’t shame people for having pets, but I’m unable to think of pets without considering these facts and it makes the entire thing seem gross and wrong to me. I rarely bring it up because it never leads to an engaging or productive conversation. No one ever really has an argument against it besides something along the lines of “Humans have had pets for millennia” or “It’s too late to put them back” which don’t actually prove me wrong in any way.

  • Does anyone have any advice for young adults that are struggling in life?

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  • Everyone I know is struggling in life. It seems almost impossible to get anything good going. Take things one step at a time and try to find a good strategy for managing upkeep on whatever needs it. Focus on improving a single thing you can do in the short term. Outside of that, I’d strongly recommend getting a union job if you don’t have employment figured out yet. A stable income with good job security is much easier to plan around even if it seems like it isn’t enough money.

  • Deleted

    Permanently Deleted

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  • That depends on your priorities I guess. As long as we have compatible ideals and treat others similarly, then I’d give it a shot. I don’t necessarily want a partner who knows history or geography, just one that’s a good person I get along with and one that shares interests with me.

    On a side note, I’d personally refrain from calling anyone dumb. Schools aren’t perfect and this person has lived a whole life just like you. They have learned things, just not the same things. If they’re a 10/10, I imagine they probably know a lot about health, fitness, fashion, and maybe makeup. Those are all valid and useful things to know.

  • What are your top 5 anime shows?

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    1. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
    2. Cowboy Bebop
    3. Code Geass
    4. Durarara!!
    5. Devilman Crybaby

  • People who have been to psych wards before, how was it?

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  • They all vary pretty wildly from what I’ve heard. The one I spent 2 weeks in was mind-numbingly boring. No phones, no internet, and one hour of the wards ipad a day. The only saving grace was that I stole a water damaged deck of playing cards from some volunteer guy at the hospital I was initially put in before they transferred me. I played solitaire probably a couple thousand times over 2 weeks.

    Other than that, you pretty much just talk with other people there and watch TV. They did some kind of activity every day and if you didn’t it would take longer to get out. The activities were dumb little arts and crafts nonsense and a bunch of coloring. After a few days though, anything is better than nothing.

    In the ward I was in, medication was an issue for me. They put me on haldol and I had a really bad reaction to it, but the staff didn’t believe me until I couldn’t move and was in a lot of pain. Generally the staff doesn’t care much and will ignore lots of what you or anyone else says.

  • Deleted

    So here is my rant...

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  • A couple things from your post that seem noteworthy to me:

    1. This is a pretty long post and your only self description is a single hand-wavy sentence. Perhaps you need to figure out how to place greater value on who you are.
    2. You seem to assume relationships are built primarily on kindness and empathy. These are import parts, no doubt, but is that all you look for in people you want to spend time with? I personally appreciate kind people, but I find nice people who lack passion, drive or desires to be a bit tiresome to manage. There is a whole person in there, but they don’t embody it for one reason or another. Then it’s then up to me to make plans compatible with them, invite them, and keep them comfortable with no chance of them ever doing the same for me. “Nice” isn’t an entire personality. Do you make plans and invite others? If you do, are you likely to cancel the plan if no one else goes with you?

    1. You assume you’ll get racist hatred if you were to travel. I can only speak for where I’m from, New York, but I think any kind of foreigner could find a place here if they put in the effort. Hatred is everywhere, but there’s also friendly people too.
    2. In my experience, people who say “Normal people don’t…” are coming up with arbitrary comparisons to imaginary people they assume everyone to be. There are no normal people. Everyone is weird in one way or another.
  • Mycology @mander.xyz
    FRYD @sh.itjust.works

    I found this little guy on a hike a while back.

  • Mlem for Lemmy @lemmy.ml
    FRYD @sh.itjust.works

    Can we get an option to mark all crossposts of a post as read?

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world
    FRYD @sh.itjust.works

    Would you enter a relationship with someone with genital herpes?