You are consistently happy, all the time. People think you are strange for not crying at funerals, but smiling instead. You never feel anything but happy. No envy, no hatred, no love. Just happiness.
Also would have been nice if the buyers hadn't waited years after finding out to announce it, giving the seller plenty of time to shut down the original company. There is nothing to sue now.
But foreign politics less so. New government in Kenya? Not a big deal. Convicted felon and rapist shitting on the world? Annoying, but there are more important local matters.
Apparently there was a study done and your happiness levels out. Like if you got a big pay bump you'd be happier for a while but then back to baseline.
My boss used this to say that we don't need raises. I asked if we could prove it and me and her swap pays. She laughed and brushed me off.
I had a similar thing on an old crt monitor. The screen would start to flicker badly after a while, and 8 year old me found if you banged the side, just right, it would keep working for a couple of hours.
Turns out the circuit board had some dry solders on it and when I hit it on the side where the board was, it got the connection back for a while.
You're right, the lettuce was getting old, still had some crunch left in it though.