I got yelled at by some angry little man today. I went to sainsburys in the car with my landlady. I usually get a cooked chicken and then portion it up to last for a few days. Today I was there at 11am, when they come out of the oven, to get a fresh one and they were all cooked and ready to come out of the oven but there were no staff members around. I waited for about 10 minutes and no-one came. So I stepped in to where the staff members are supposed to be, literally just at the edge of the counter, and looked in, to see if there were any staff members behind the oven. There was no-one there so I left and went to a different part of the shop to get something else. While I was looking at the food on the shelf a very hostile young male staff member came over to me and started really aggressively scolding me in front of everyone. He said he'd seen me step behind the counter, and I shouldn't be back there. I apologised but it wasn't good enough. He ranted and raved about it and I said I wouldn't go back there again, but he kept on and on. He finished by rudely saying, "I don't want to have to tell you this again," and as he walked off he was still angrily talking about it. He was so vicious about it, and I've been the victim of random male violence before, and it's just the icing on the cake with everything thats going on already, so I know it probably sounds pathetic but it really scared and upset me. Like sorry I stepped into the staff area for literally one second but there was no-one around to ask, seems inappropriate to take whatever frustrations he's having in life out on a random customer. Couldn't he just quietly and politely say "I saw you go behind the counter, please don't go back there?" So yeah I got screeched at in front of a shop full of people on top of everything else and now I'm even more stressed.

And my left side is really flaring up again, not just the tendon but the knee, foot, everything. My landlady is going away for xmas and while it will be nice to have the house to myself I'm in no fit state to walk more than a short distance again and I'll have no-one to drive me anywhere if I need to go somewhere. I managed to get a sainsburys delivery slot for xmas eve but that's obviously more expensive than if I was able to use my free bus pass to go myself. But I don't have a chance in hell of lugging shopping home half a mile from the bus stop. Having to order for delivery because you're too crippled to carry shopping home is one of the many ways it's more expensive to be disabled. There have been times where my left side has flared up so badly I've been completely unable to walk and sainsburys has mobility scooters you can use to get around the shop if you're disabled. It's embarrassing but I have used them before. One time my achilles tendon flared up so badly I was put in a plaster cast on crutches for 10 days and I had to do my shopping in the mobility scooter during that time. But they're only for use in the shop, you can't drive yourself home in it so even if my mobility issues get bad enough to need the scooter again it won't help me with getting to and from the shop. This lack of independence is so hard, always needing someone to drive me around, or deliver, and relying on the generosity of donations to even buy food in the first place. Even the simplest things in life become overwhelmingly difficult and expensive when you're disabled. I hate being disabled, I wish I was able bodied again.