I have a straight peen most of the time.

I use it daily and think it’s excellent. Skype, on the other hand, is diabolical.

That’s literally the only ‘old’ bit, but I was still constantly pestered by people trying to get me to come with them to look at handbags and sunglasses, and I do mean constantly, to the point where I just left because I couldn’t be arsed anymore.

Disagreed. I loved Venice. Was crowded but was very pretty and interesting, and had great food. You don’t need to go to the expensive tourist places for good food. As always, see where locals eat.

Dubai. A cultureless fake city in the desert, full of posers.

That boat seems too high for small shore waves.

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Cinnamon stick 10 mins before you serve. Lime juice to garnish.

If you don’t have the willpower or don’t really want to, you will fail. It’s nearly all willpower.

I’ve never seen or heard anyone use drug as the past tense of drag in my long-legged life.

That’s a wild rollercoaster of a question. It’s like a robot who learned English in a rush.

It’s Mandy or The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.

+1 for Cake

The word skeleton comes from the Ancient Greek word skeletós, which means “dried up”.

I have a moss question. If I want moss to grow between bricks on my driveway, can I just cut moss up, put it in, and water it? Will it grow? Or do I need some kind of mix with a culture (like moss and milk, or something)?

How did you get into my private elevator? SECURITY!

We are all above him.

Do you have functioning eyes?

Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.

The Terror is marvelous. If you’re thinking of buying Paul Tremblay’s short story collection, don’t. It’s dire from start to finish, full of half-thought stories and stories that seem to have no point.