Erik

You aren’t “just toxic”, but there are some ADHD traits that are probably behind both the original behaviors and your reactions to your partner calling you out for them. The number one thing is probably feelings of shame because you forget important things, or because you impulsively say or do things that you later regret. Shame and regret are very unpleasant feelings, and it is normal to want to avoid them by justifying your actions.

I would suggest trying to buy yourself a little space when your partner calls out your bad behaviors. Take a deep breath, and maybe say “I’m sorry. I’m trying to get better at that.” Or, “I’m sorry, I didn’t think that through or I wouldn’t have said it.”

The two things that drive most negative behaviors are distractibility (which is why you forget important things) and impulsivity (which is why you say or do things that are hurtful, but realize it after the fact). Medication can help with both, but it takes a lot of work to reduce the impact to the point where it’s not a big negative in your life.

Having a good reminder system can help with forgetfulness. Every phone comes with a calendar and a to-do list. Keep using them and understand that it is a whole set of skills to use them effectively, so it’s going to take time until you get good at it.

Impulsivity is a bit tougher to overcome. A few simple breathing techniques, and a regular meditation practice can go a long way toward reducing that, though. (Meditation doesn’t mean becoming a Buddhist. Just using one of the meditation apps on your phone every day will have a cumulative effect over the course of weeks and months.)

I couldn’t read this article. It is badly a need of a spelling and grammar check.

Skim the book, “working effectively with legacy code”. In a nutshell, you write characterization tests around the module or method, then do safe IDE based refactorings, then do some slightly more significant refactorings. After that the code should make enough sense for you to make changes if you need to.

It is as much in art as a science. The important thing is that as you are doing refactorings, the main one you do is to extract methods, and give the methods clear names that say what they are doing. You should be left with a top-level method that reads like a narrative of what the whole thing does.

Medication helps me quite a bit. I am also using Atomoxetine. The effect is much more subtle than stimulants, but I think just as powerful in the long run.

I took that comment as criticizing dumbed-down science reporting and/or being suspicious of reported breakthroughs from China.

I have enjoyed Anton Petrov, Parallax Nick, some PBS Spacetime and Crash Course, plus history content from the Austin school and other places.

Kurzgesagt had quite a bit of really interesting content, but seems to have fallen off quite a bit in the last year or so.

There is no body text that I can see. I am viewing via Lemmy and using the Voyager app.

I don’t think that is true. It wasn’t a majority. (Although that’s a nitpick, it was close enough to say that about half of all voters voted for Trump.)

A more important consideration is that the majority of people who did vote for him are incredibly naive when it comes to politics. They think that the president sets gas prices, or that Trump and Musk are geniuses because they say they are. Most of them feel disenfranchised by both political parties, and this is a brick through the window of the established order. I don’t think most of the electorate thought this through much beyond that.

I honestly don’t know what difference it will make in the long run, but I don’t think it is true to say that this is what most people wanted.