“A guy” Give Mr Mobile his due! The man’s a legend!

A friend of mine had the Droid.

At that point I was rocking the T Mobile Vario, which I believe was an HTC. It was, sadly, dog shit. Windows Mobile was not a fun time.

Ooh ah up da Ra!

Er…no… Not me…

DM me your card details and I’ll send you a couple of pints from my platypus farm.

As a platypus lays eggs and produces milk, it’s the only animal that can make its own custard.

Oh fork! This was the Bad Place all along!

Hear me out, but pickle pizza is pretty damn good. The sauce is mayo, sour cream, garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper.

The paleo diet exists.

Has anyone asked the Polish if they’re ok?

The Apple TV remote is rechargeable, though not backlit.

My company finishes at 4. 3:56 every day I clock out so I can get out of the yard before everyone else and not get stuck in traffic.

My mama didn’t raise no fools. Well, apart from my little brother.

(my posts were being ironic, sorry if you thought i was being sincere)

“Compassion” and “humanity”. What’s that? More communism?

Hol’ up, that sounds like communism.

Right. My oven has a few roasting dishes in it that live on the bottom, and that’s it. Who the fuck puts non-cookware in an oven when it’s not in use?

They were trying to be cunty, and in that they were a success.

MS does this with ALL their forums, and it’s cunty.

But what if OP works at the hotdog fleshlight factory?

I’ve lived in one rented house that wasn’t entirely magnolia, and that was when I rented my nan’s house to help pay towards her nursing home costs.

Other than that: yep, fucking magnolia.

Brilliantly, not all magnolia is equal. Scratched the wall in my current house, so went out and got a tester of Dulux magnolia to patch it up. It’s a slightly lighter shade 😐