Several aircraft returning from New York flew with only a fifth of the tickets sold, and at least one flight during the past week departed with fewer than 35 passengers on an Airbus jumbo A380 jet that ordinarily seats close to 500.
The Onion: "With the sudden rising cost of aviation fuel, Emirates Airlines, rolls out new program to reduce the weight of flights to increase fuel efficiency and lower the fuel consumed per flight."
Newt Gingrich, graduate of the "Worms: Armageddon" school of civil engineering.