One of them Carpenter nerd types.

  • 4 Posts
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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 7th, 2023

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  • I absolutely can’t focus on one person if two are talking about roughly the same thing at the same time. The only way for me to take in any information is unfortunately to apologize to both of them and explain that while I’m glad they both know how to handle the situation I’m asking about, I can’t handle the information overload of both of them explaining it at the same time.

    At which point I have to re-ask the same person I asked the first time to explain it.


  • Been driving for a few decades at this point. I use my turn signals for nearly all turns, and any moving merges. The more information I can give to other drivers, the more likely they are to act rationally… which decreases the chances of miscommunications and accidents.

    I don’t always signal while in a turn only lane, as being in that lane should already denote my intentions, and while merging into heavy (stopped, bumper to bumper) traffic…


  • There are always moments in someones life where they have to stop and look around them to see how things have been moving along and if they are moving in a direction which is acceptable. It’s in those moments that one might realize the life they’re living is a bit lopsided in terms of give and take. From there the extrapolation of if being off balance is acceptable to that person given the struggles of those around them is worth continuing down that path. And in the final push of Altruism, a realization that the world will never be balanced and as long as you have enough, then you should do whatever you can do make sure others are brought up to a level of enough to not cause undo suffering.

    I am willing to admit that there are a small subsection of people who cannot be appropriately helped as they are unwilling (but completely able) to help themselves, and any efforts to aid them will only make them reliant on the assistance.











  • I would assume that there are different ‘reasons’ that cause the broader feel of asexuality. Mine is a complete apathy for the want or need of it. I can enjoy making others feel good, such as giving them a massage in a normal way. I can feel that my work towards helping them feel good is rewarding in and of itself.

    I figured out my side of things when after being with my partner for many years I was getting increasingly frustrated that while they were able to enjoy the experience for what seemed perpetual, my side of things remained the same, regardless of whatever was done. To feel the same for oral or penetrative felt like something was wrong to me so I started looking around at other types of options. I did whatever appealed to me but in the end none of it changed anything for me.

    For other people, they may have a different kind of situation where the act in any form is uncomfortable which can be a personality quirk or in some a complete lack of empathy. Something that is blocking them from experiencing what is in effect a ‘really intense massage’ that some people crave. I’m not going to try and list all the various societal/personal/learned behaviors people have about sex across the globe which may play a part in their enjoyment/need/desire for sex.

    Edit: cleaned up a small section I wasn’t happy with and I was hurrying at the end of my lunch break to try and get all the words out. And Also:

    Anecdotally, I’ve been very lucky to have moved many places and seen many things, met many people on a close enough level that knowing how often they sought sexual activity. I know some people who are obsessed with getting some, some who are relatively indifferent, and others who equate it to a smooth drink at the end of a good night. All over the place in terms of how much they focus on it.

    After realizing that I may very well be ace in my own right, other little puzzle pieces started to fit together. I was in a long distance relationship with my high-school sweetheart after high-school for about 5 years. I had no issues with lacking any kind of intimate touch, my partner needed it and despite all that cheating stigma, went ahead and found some anyways. It was important enough to them that waiting for someone to appear once every 6ish months wasn’t an option for them. I didn’t understand it then… because again, I had no issues waiting that long or longer. I would talk to them almost everyday and that was more than enough for me.


  • Much like anything else, being asexual is a spectrum. It took me a very long time to figure out I was and that’s because I personally didn’t get any physical satisfaction out of sex, but I enjoyed the part where I made my partner absolutely melt with pleasure. Feeling romantic or emotional pleasure from sex is not uncommon, especially when coupled with someone who gets a ton of pleasure from it. That being said, I haven’t had sex in over a year, and from the way things look, I’m not going to for a very long time. I won’t say it’s voluntary though it’s definitely not because my partner doesn’t want to.