I think that's how most people are. They don't identify as sexist, but they do sexist things because of conditioning. No one ever thinks they're a bad person, best we can do is try to be aware of our bullshit and keep learning.
She's trying to explain that socialization reflects these gender differences in how much/often people speak, despite sharing similar neurodivergent traits. Autistic women are told to shut up way more.
Hey, I'm not denying gender issues fuck with everyone. Saying something sucks for women is not saying men have it all peaches and roses.
Your point might land a bit harder (and have any semblance of truth) if all these comments weren't men pushing aside an issue that effects women to, you know, support each other for being sad about living with the fallout while women are in the goddamn blast zone.
To start off, I don't like the term "mansplaining" because it's a nuanced issue around gender and socialization. I can't get behind the "men are assholes" rhetoric any more than "bitches be crazy."
However. HOWEVER. This is an image of a man explaining something basic and condescending to a woman. It was literally an affront.
Now. You could say the initial message was in bad faith and used a shitty gendered term. And yet—statistically—women are talked over, devalued and objectified in the workplace, and everywhere else, more than men. There are so many studies on this it's not worth posting a link. And there are studies on how this constant pressure and down talking increases stress, anxiety, depression and burnout. And yet more studies on how women seeking medical help for mental health have their symptoms disregarded or minimized, further reducing their ability to manage these stresses.
So when I see someone pointing out the ironic coincidence of a woman trying to find some humor and power in a shitty situation that isn't changing any time soon(though, again, I still don't like the term) only to be immediately proven correct, it's dark comedy to me. I feel it because I live it, and I only have so much patience before meds and therapy get more expensive. I do not give a shit what you do or how you manage stress.
When I see a hundred comments where men need to put themselves in a picture that isn't supposed to be about them, because again, this is a real issue with some dark consequences(and a bad term,) well, that's just fucking Shakespearean.
I'm not a big fan of the term but I understand how it came about.
Yes, when women are being talked over and condescended to it's usually by men. Not all men, no. We're not talking about conversations or people just explaining things, we're talking about working three times as hard for the same amount of respect, and knowing there's a certain percentage of the population who will never change their minds about women.
Women talk about their frustration and men complain they didn't cause it. They think they're in this picture but they weren't... until they decided it was a personal attack.
This sounds like a guy I wouldn't want approaching me.
Don't. You want to meet someone? Do things you like that involve other people and naturally encourage conversation. Sign up for shit. Volunteer.
Think about how you'd react if a rando woman approached you. Actually don't, let's add something to that. Think about how you would feel if a rando woman, who you don't find attractive, approached you after you've been told to smile by the barrista who made your coffee, after six guys at work tried to explain the basics of your job to you when you have seniority, and your soon to be ex partner suggested you should start waxing your upper lip five minutes before you had to leave for work, after the security guard at a grocery store followed you outside at night to ask for your phone number.
I love how wholesome your wish is.