Pentagon concerned after Biden goes “missing” just before asking members of his cabinet about nuclear weapons. “He asked me if he was allowed to ‘push the button’ and made references to fireworks”

Bloke from Leeds claims aliens ABDUCTED him and implanted him with a chip that gave him more libido which lead to him amassing a whopping 20k pounds credit card debt on porn site XHAMSTER

Director Quentin Tarantino dead at 63

FDA issues emergency recall for all Dr.Pepper drinks across the US after former factory employee publishes manifesto to Facebook admitting to spiking thousands of liters of the product with ricin

“Pillar of the community” elderly man from Lower East Side cuts off penis and kills 3 NYPD officers after 22 y old grandson forced him to try “mystery drug” for a TikTok video in a bid to go viral

Decomposing body of a woman found months later at an NYC “escape room” after employees and players thought it was a prop

Chippy owner burns down 30% of all businesses in his area after Wigan counsel forces him to temporarily close due to refusal to comply with regular inspections

Mayor Adams: “I feared for my life” claims he was coerced into taking bribes and didn’t know how to take “no” for an answer because of the potential consequences

Rapper Lil Uzi Vert releases gospel album to the dismay of loyal fans who were expecting a sequel to their 2020 album Eternal Atake

Is there a possibility earth heats up so fast that we all kinda die of heat?

MRE reviewer Steve1989MREInfo dies after eating US Air Force support ration Menu#8 beef stew which contained traces of botulism and listeria

Biden using his telekinetic dementia powers to make everyone forget he ever existed

Gabe Newell assassinated by steam work shop contributor after Steam removed his nude Leon Kennedy mod for Resident Evil 4

Games Workshop files for chapter 7 bankruptcy as 3D printing becomes the norm among the “wargaming” community

Wigan man murders 11 police in cold blood after an altercation at the chippy turned awry. The man, 56 had asked for gravy on his fish and chips but got curry instead

Wigan man on holiday to Egypt accidentally activates “Pyramid One” ushering in the apocalypse

🚨Donald Trump Assasinated🚨

1917-2024

Alien with interstellar metal cock crashes UFO into Alaska as postmortem claims the alien was “masturbating” before taking a deadly plunge back to earth

Hot Ones host set to interview a category five hurricane in the coming months