Apytele

@ Apytele @sh.itjust.works

Posts

43
Comments

320
Joined

3 yr. ago

I love genuine questions and people putting in the effort to love and understand each other better. If you come at me just wanting to argue I'm going to troll you back. FAFO.

Moderating

Curated Tumblr sh.itjust.works

6h ago

What to do when you have an image (as in reputation) you don't care for?
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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 6h ago
Get a blue Mohawk and wear Hawaiian polos, cargo shorts, and tennis shoes everywhere. If you really don't like what people see, change what they see. Or change the context they see you in. If you're always hanging around a cleaners with other people who look like Italian mobsters and you look like you fit in then there you are. Whether it's ultimately worth it to you to change your appearance or lifestyle is ultimately up to you. There are, ultimately, 4 ways to deal with a problem:
redefine / stop thinking about it as a problem
accept that the problem exists
be willing to do whatever you have to do to change the problem
be upset about the problem.
#4 is the only one I vehemently recommend against. 1-3 are all roughly equal in the amount of distress you will be left with in the end.

8h ago

moods rule

Genuinely though a lot of emotions are fundamentally chemically the same and your perception of them is ultimately what makes the difference.

9h ago

‘What I see in clinic is never a set of labels’: are we in danger of overdiagnosing mental illness?

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 9h ago

Yes that's why they're clogging up the hospitals. If most of them at least had a roof they'd be able to self-manage most of their disorders a lot better. Even if they ultimately wind up back in the hospital it would be easier to discharge them much faster. Home care with a roof is still cheaper than the hospital and would be adequate in sooo many cases, and give so much more space to care for the ones for whom it isn't.

And using drugs in their own house would keep them from having to take enough uppers to stay vigilant for their safety simultaneously with with enough opiates to level that out. They could keep using or do MAT until they're ready to quit and in the meantime they wouldn't be out in the street yelling at passing cars. We have more empty houses than homeless people just put them in em for free.

I said what I said because my face is directly in the issues you're talking about every single night I work and every single one of them would be so much easier to manage if every one of those people just had a roof to go home to. Literally just a roof. Do you know how hard it is to keep a leg wound the size of a grapefruit clean on the street? Even if it's not getting regular dressings at home at least it's not soaking in a mud puddle where the best thing happening to it is maggots.

17h ago

What is happening with this potatoe?

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 17h ago

I love stuff like this. It turns out there's whole hidden worlds inside all sorts of people's average workdays and a lot of the time if you ask they'll just tell you!

21h ago

‘What I see in clinic is never a set of labels’: are we in danger of overdiagnosing mental illness?

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 21h ago

it wouldn't matter as much if we didn't expect so much of people.

ADHD wouldn't be this much of a problem in children if we didn't expect them to sit still in a classroom for 8 hours as a ten year old.
depression wouldn't be as much of a problem if people weren't expected to have the energy to stand in one place getting verbally abused for 8+ hours a day.

and don't get me started on homelessness. literally just fix homelessness and about 1/2 of the healthcare system would instantly right itself even before dealing with the health insurance issue. especially the ERs.

literally just tax the fuck out of empty housing. each person is allowed to have 1 house they don't live in (which is extremely generous). anything after that should be nearly impossible to afford taxes on. And no corporate landlords. I'm fine renting; if I take a 12 week contract in another city I'm not buying and in not staying in a hotel and I'd also rather be paying somebody who actually lives there.

21h ago

It's the perfect shape

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 21h ago

thicc as buttercream but sure

22h ago

Some hacker in thigh-high striped socks should take one for the team and release the Epstein Files

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 22h ago

except they're the ones holding the video and no cop who wants to continue being a cop is going to investigate anyone that could actually get them in real trouble. it's been hard enough prosecuting anyone in the Epstein files despite TONS of evidence. how many people have fallen off balconies or just never came back from the yacht party that we don't even know about?

1d ago

Permanently Deleted

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 1d ago

Yeah the switch was a slow one for me. There was a long period where I was using both but it slowly shifted from using reddit more to using Lemmy more and a big reason was the usability of the ui. They really wanted to push me onto the app but it was so sluggish and every bug I reported about the web ui was met with "but did you try our app?" and like yeah I did and it was shit! It was bloated down with so many weird internal video features I didn't even use (and probably tracking) that it was barely usable! Meanwhile boost just gets it done, consistently, and with like 0 bugs.

1d ago

YSK that you can post to Lemmy from Mastodon, and Mastodon users can interact in Lemmy threads. This is a Mastodon account.

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 1d ago

I would be so hyped to see a true dual Lemmy mastodon service that fully allows you to browse and post to both Lemmy and mastodon style feeds. Currently even kbin is really more focused on the Lemmy / piefed end and the microblogging function still requires the posts to be under a magazine meaning masto posts aren't really browseable and they're not really fully interact able from both ends. I feel like a service fully compatible with both formats would give a broader reach that would really allow fedi to grow. You'd be able interact with like half of fedi at the same time which would make it feel so much bigger and more comparable in scope to traditional social media.

2d ago

Silver linings?

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 2d ago

Tbh the hose / sprayer kind is actually super handy for spraying out the bedside puke bucket. You can also use it for removing the large solids from reusable pads or incontinence garments or pet waste on a reusable or very rudely diy'ed puppy pad. I've spent so much time working with toilets that have a pull down nozzle for cleaning equipment that it's just plain handy to have one at home for when the cat pukes on my favorite robe. You can also use it for a lot of types of food waste if you don't have a garbage disposal.

2d ago

An emotional rollercoaster

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 2d ago

I read it as a reflexive response to behavioral cues, meaning the body is responding automatically to context rather than conscious intent.

There's the “yeah I made it here” in the driveway, which is basically a cognitive checkpoint where the brain relaxes its inhibitory grip. But as he approaches the bathroom, his reflexes to defecate and micturate reengage more fully, because environmental cues lower cortical suppression and let autonomic programs run.

If you take some time to focus on your bodily sensations more mindfully in these situations, you'll also notice the sensation comes in waves. What you’re feeling there is not random discomfort but rhythmic signaling. That's the conscious input of your visceral afferent nervous system reporting back on the peristaltic waves of your intestinal smooth muscle, which contract in cycles to move contents forward.

As a matter of mind body somatic reintegration, you'll probably find that using your conscious mind to thank the nerves for keeping you in the loop will likely make the sensation less distressing. This works because acknowledgment engages higher cortical regulation rather than threat processing, which reduces amplification of the signal.

Most bodies get more upset when they feel like the rest of their complaints are going unheard by the cerebrum, because ignored signals tend to escalate in intensity to force attention. Even when there's not a way for you to address the problem immediately, you gotta let them know they're heard, or the nervous system keeps turning up the volume.

2d ago

When You Gotta Get the Clue by Four Deck Out

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 2d ago

Same except I'm pretty sure that's what spirituality is, or can be, anyway. I've worked hospitals where atheist chaplains are a thing. Even atheists need help coming to terms with death sometimes. Not feeling inherently connected to anything in particular is still a belief about how you relate the the universe. And tbh I think a lot of the shit atheists get is due to it not adequately being recognized as a spirituality. They're not actually missing one, it just looks different.

3d ago

People don't really know their own motivation for their actions

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 3d ago

Oh, yeah. It's because In our historical environment it was actually super important to be able to do that. Even now its super handy sometimes. There was one time my foot had been fully down on the break for several seconds before I consciously realized I had seen the eyes of a deer in the bushes next to the road.

It's actually a super important concept I teach in violence deescalation classes. Our human brain has a natural capacity for risk assessment you just need to learn to evaluate it properly. My two examples are:

patient w/ dementia is asking a repetitive question. This makes me uneasy and I'm struggling to pin down why. After a bit I realize that if I was still working with criminally insane men, repetitive questioning means he's not liking the answer he's getting and trouble is coming. A dementia patient genuinely doesn't remember asking. False alarm (but never call your brain stupid, always tell it thank you and make it a hot cup of tea or whatever your equivalent is).
patient w/ severe Psychosis has a hair trigger. One day they slammed their body into the heavy hardwood exit door hard enough to crack it away from the maglock. About a week later I'm walking past them standing in the hall and my brain just started screaming at me that I needed to do something right that second so I went and pulled an ativan and offered it, which they were suspicious of but took. I was going to document that the patient looked tense, which was enough with how rapid their escalation pattern was, but when I sat down to document I also realized, they were staring at the door. If I'd waited a few minutes later they probably would have been doing something very dangerous and I would've had to do an injection and a physical hold which is so much more stressful and less safe for both them and us.

TLDR; there's also a book called "The Gift of Fear." Anxiety is not your enemy, but you do need to learn to ask it,"Why?" and you need to learn how to address your brain's concerns in a way that's safe and intelligent. And on a public scale there's a LOT of people who will try to take advantage of your anxiety and you need to evaluate their motives very carefully.

4d ago

Japan cancels cherry blossom festival over complaints of tourists littering and ‘defecating’ in yards

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 4d ago

Doesn't matter how famous the architect who made the toilet was if there's only one of them per 100 people at a tourist event compared to the one per 10 any other time of the year. I've seen lots of fancy toilets but none of them have been able to hold 10 butts at once.

4d ago

Japan cancels cherry blossom festival over complaints of tourists littering and ‘defecating’ in yards

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 4d ago

right like this is a whole new level of unhinged

4d ago

Do conservatives really have better mental health? Perhaps not.

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 4d ago

tbh just block me. I've been working in such high acuity situations for so long that it's basically impossible for me to tell what other people find disturbing. I've casually said things about bodily fluids and functions around people who claim to have a "dark sense of humor" and watched them turn green without even realizing it's something that would bother anyone. It also usually turns out they're just racist / sexist etc and are saying that out of a desire to make jokes that keep them within their limited worldview, not that they're actually expressing anything reflective of an experiental exposure to human depravity.

as a specific example of something I *know* disturbed someone as an accident on my part:

I was once playing VtM with people who were like "oh yeah a real dark gritty game!" and my vampire character ate a bag of chips early in and the GM said "well you're just going to throw it back up" and my response was "well I can just keep re-eating the vomit thought right?" (because I once personally watched someone doing that) .....you could hear a pin drop in that chat (until the person who also works in my field started giggling).

My apologies for this occurence; I thought I had marked this account as NSFW / 18+ but I'm not seeing where that might have even been an option, so maybe I'm thinking of a different account on a different service. If you're not able to interact safely with this you're just not able to interact safely with me in general. Best wishes though!

4d ago

Do you get very upset when strangers scold you in front of everyone?

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 4d ago

I think this is the best comment. It's not impossible that they chose OP due to some demographic category but they had probably been annoyed at all the other people too. From what I'm reading in other comments about demographics they probably chose OP because she seemed less likely to fight back. So to sum up, the bus driver had a real gripe, but they took the coward's way to address it.

This is largely unrelated to OP specifically but I've been thinking about the bus drivers a lot lately because I get on at the end of the line where they stop to take their break. There's always someone standing there mad that the bus driver won't let them on. And first of all break is sacred, but also specifically; having a public safety job myself though, I get it. My guess is that the bus driver is considered responsible for our safety while we're physically on the bus and people don't realize how stressful that is.

You just have this constant low level anxiety of "what are these people going to do that I'm responsible for trying to stop them from doing, and are they going to get violent with me for telling them to stop?" And that anxiety is mostly the good type that's low level and just keeps you at attention but you can't maintain that level of attention continuously. You have to shut it off at some point or it starts doing weird shit to your brain both on and off the job.

4d ago

Fuck, can I have a do-over?

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 4d ago

I tell people good evening while getting off shift at 7a and good morning while coming on shift at 7p and honestly I just roll with it because then nobody gets on me for not remembering their names.

4d ago

Man posts his incorrect opinion online

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 4d ago

Yeah I'm US and my parents were always at least annoyed if we wore our shoes further into the house than right by the door.

4d ago

Women's razor ads use bare legs but cleaning products ads don't use clean floors.

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Apytele @sh.itjust.works 4d ago

I use clippers to shorten my pits and bush because my pit hair pulls in weird ways and my bush will mat with blood clots and it helps trap less smells in both but other than that yeah there's no reason. I once had an A&P professor who went on a mini rant one class about how "the leg and arm hairs are for detecting the movement of fleas ticks and other parasites and how could women be asked to give up such protection? "