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Apytele

@ Apytele @sh.itjust.works

Posts
44
Comments
388
Joined
3 yr. ago

I love genuine questions and people putting in the effort to love and understand each other better. If you come at me just wanting to argue I'm going to troll you back. FAFO.

  • I remember

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  • Ten years ago I spent a few days twitching with dystonia on the floor of a state psychiatric hospital and thought to myself that it couldn't be that hard to do that job properly. I went back and worked there for two years, went back to school and became a nurse and I've been my current hospital's crisis deescalation and physical skills instructor and emergency behavioral response nurse to the medical units for two years now. 🎉

  • Do you feel that use of generative AI and LLMs is ever justifiable? If so, when and where? If not, why not?

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  • Literally everything I've vibe coded the #1 security feature is local only storage. I trust it naught with security LOL.

  • Do you feel that use of generative AI and LLMs is ever justifiable? If so, when and where? If not, why not?

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  • Yeah I use it to break up my ADHD monosentence paragraphs. I'll tell it to avoid changing my wording (it can add definitions if it thinks the word is super niche or archaic) but mostly break things up into more readable sentences and group / reorder sentences as needed for better conceptual flow. It's actually a pretty good low level editor.

  • my ideal relationship

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  • Was just talking about something very similar in another community LOL

  • What is the funniest impulse purchase you’ve made/seen someone you know make?

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  • I would assume you dispose of the parts that frequently touched your bodily fluids and list the "frame" and where to purchase replacement parts in the eBay listing. Somebody out there wants a sex doll and only has $500. Or contact the manufacturer.

  • I really liked this - neurodivergent love languages

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  • Also like I've been with hubs for years even before making it legally binding and at a certain point 90% of your communication / negotiation is nonverbal with a 10% verbal clarification for when it's insufficient. Like we'll mutually get pushy / use the other if we're horny enough just because we've been together long enough that we recognize that sometimes the other person just really needs it at that time to feel loved or they need physical release or they're just too damn horny even if you're not feeling it right that second. (Mutually enjoyable experiences are very possible but usually take a few days of planning, especially to sync up our refractory periods to increase the chance of both orgasming in the sweet spot between slowly and quickly enough, more if we're planning on incorporating an by specific kinks).

    There's still space to say no if you're really just sick / hurt / tired / overstimulated but at this point the default setting for both of us is "yeah go ahead just use lube" / understanding that it's on the initiator to put in the effort to receive an adequate physiological response. And you accidentally overstep sometimes but it's pretty minor and non traumatic when it's rare and you're both able to look at it from the perspective of an honest mistake. Sometimes your partner steps on your toes or runs into you around a corner too and it's not a Problem unless you're in a shitty relationship with an ongoing unidirectional lack of effort towards preventing hurtful events.

    I think this is what a lot of older couples are describing who are in what would otherwise be considered a healthy and loving relationship by modern standards but where (usually the woman) states that she considers satisfying her husband's appetites to be an obligation of their marriage. I take issue with it being unidirectional (historical perspectives on women's sex drive is a whole other convo) and think they're lacking the emotional intelligence / language to describe the level of nonverbal communication they're actually doing, but I think what they're actually describing is just that they've been together so damn long that that communication has become largely nonverbal and following loose but long-standing emotional / relationship contracts. That lack of context makes for shitty advice because you can't just start a relationship there, that's a negotiation that doesn't really get settled until years or sometimes even decades in (also the thing about bidirectionality and gender equality).

    TLDR; after enough years and in a communicative enough relationship you don't need verbal / explicit y/n as frequently.

  • Why republican/conservative men repeatedly crash Grindr

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  • Loving the diagram. Keep up the good educational work.

  • I really liked this - neurodivergent love languages

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  • My only critique is that the pebbling (gift) row has the giving vs receiving columns swapped compared to the rest of the table. The best way to ask is likely something to the effect of "I'm such a trinket / knickknack person. I love little stuff like stickers / keychains / little figurines as gifts!" (or whatever your thing is).

  • I really liked this - neurodivergent love languages

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  • You probably do relate to all five love languages to some extent. Most people do. But for most people 1–2 tend to matter more than the others over time.

    Figuring out which ones those are can actually be pretty useful.

    • It helps you understand yourself better (why certain things make you feel especially cared for).
    • It helps you communicate more clearly instead of expecting people to just pick up on it.

    You can get a sense of this by:

    • Thinking about past relationships and noticing what made you feel most valued.
    • Or using quiz-style tools as a starting point to spot patterns.

    Once you’re aware of the ones that tend to matter most to you, it’s usually easier to express your needs and understand how other people show care too.

  • essential vocab🫶

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  • Oh it's a good one. Like I might use that. Like damn. Say "grow up" but utterly roast the person while you do it!

  • Well that's a review

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  • right like at least she put in the actual conscious effort to say something shocking

  • public service

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  • it's the only social media I have that still has my real name attached. I use it to keep in contact with old coworkers, keep and host my resume, and I like their daily games. It also makes it easier to spitefully apply to other jobs at 2am but then those jobs actually call me and I realize I don't want to have to learn 30 new people's names and a new set of nightly charting requirements all over again. Doesn't mean I don't threaten my boss occasionally anyway.

  • Did you drink alcohol when you were younger than me?

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  • Fun fact from a psych nurse: you can usually estimate how many years a person has spent abusing substances by how many years behind they seem in their emotional development. A 30y/o who still acts 20ish has probably spent ~10 years using. It's not necessarily contiguous, they might have started at fifteen, used for 3, got sober for two, used for 7 more then been sober for the last 3, but they've probably spent about ten years using in total. Abusing substances lets people avoid the psychological crises they would normally need to confront to grow as a person. When they stop using they don't get to skip ahead, they have to pick up maturing from where they left off. It can also happen with non-substance behavioral addictions (like gambling) but it has to be real bad.

  • Uploading Pirated Books via BitTorrent Qualifies as Fair Use, Meta Argues today by Ernesto Van der Sar

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  • The older I get the more I lose faith that the concept will ever be used to actually benefit creators.

  • Locked

    Breed Specific Legislation Rule

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  • Honestly both chihuahuas and pugs should also be banned. It's not their faults we bred them to be sick but we should very much like, stop. At least get all the ones that currently exist fixed start fining people for having unfixed ones. The phenotypes that cause difficulty breathing are measurable (literally in head length / width ratios) and if anti-pitbull peeps can decide on a similarly objective metric there's no reason they can't be added in. The most common ones I hear are mouth shape / bite strength and prey drive / bite tenacity (resistance to letting go), and I must admit that I question the logic of making a terrier that big (there's a reason large domestic cat breeds prioritize docility / "doglike" behavior, and a terrier is literally a dog bred to do a cat's job). If they can decide on an objective way to measure those things people can be fined for having one that's not fixed and there's plenty of nosy people out there to get it done. They weren't inbreeding themselves by choice to begin with either so it's not like we're fundamentally removing some choice they had by stopping people from continuing to.

  • Locked

    Breed Specific Legislation Rule

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  • It seems like when I eat meat my ears ring more. Any ideas if what causes this? Not so much with hamburger but more with pork. Thoughts?

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  • CVSs and Walmarts usually have a free BP check station if OP lives in that part of the world. I second this by the way. Pork is often prepared with a lot of sodium.

  • Chance rule

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  • Me: "I can't have caught the family autism gene; my language skills are too good."

    Older me: "so apparently hyperlexia is just another autism presentation..."

  • What is your favorite kind of fidget toy/stim toy?

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  • Nah I just solve it for the most part. Sometimes if I really need to stretch my brain I switch which side is the "white."

  • Comic Strips @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    FYI, you too can watch the Mpreg episode of the Dilbert animated series for free on tubi.

  • Spanish @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    ok so is the whole usted being polite thing like asking "does her highness want more wine?" instead of addressing the person directly?

  • Lemmy411 - Don't know where to find what you're looking for? @lemmy.ca
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    Looking for small foam adhesive disks, single-sided (pictures included)

  • PieFed Meta @piefed.social
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    UPDATED: The Fedigram as a Cherry Pie

  • No Stupid Questions @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    What're your strong opinions from an aged / dead fandom?

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    Why did ~20 year old me save this to my hard disk ~10 years ago? If there's a joke idgi anymore.

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    Can anyone help me find a full recording of The Latvian National Opera production of Peer Gynt?

  • PieFed Meta @piefed.social
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    would like to be able to post to my own profile as a microblog

  • Tip Of My Tongue @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    Comedy bit about conservatives accidentally reasoning themselves into progressive policies for backwards reasons

  • Asklemmy @lemmy.ml
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    What's the android version of getting annoyed with windows and installing linux mint?

  • Asklemmy @lemmy.ml
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    Looking for a one-time paid (non-subscription) TTS program for android

  • Unpopular Opinion @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    If you're debating the quality of probiotic supplements based on how many billion CFUs it takes to survive stomach acid; you're putting them in the wrong end.

  • 196 @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    Fixed it rule

  • Witchy Memes @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    What should the columns say?

  • Witchy Memes @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    Should I keep going?

  • What is this thing? @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works
    SOLVED

    Found on the ground in an urban area, USA mid-atlantic region but not costal.

  • Ask Lemmy @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    Comment your favorite good-evil / law-chaos memes I wanna average out my placement on all of them.

  • Mental Health @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    I think this is as done as it's getting - DIY mental health course

    anonfiles.ch /l0OCpZ9Yktg/DIY_Mental_Health_zip
  • ADHD @lemmy.world
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    School Tip: Sometimes "Preferential Seating Accomodations" can mean sitting in the BACK of the room.

  • 196 @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    Apytele @sh.itjust.works

    A rule... and a warning.