I aim to be more human. I aim to be less apathetic as a human. Apathy grows, like a tree, and I aim to prune my own.

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  • 7 Posts
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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 23rd, 2023

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  • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.comtoFuck Cars@lemmy.worldTrains
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    17 hours ago

    It was so widespread that I’ve never been to a small town, in the region I grew up in, that didn’t have an old passenger rail station that was repurposed into something else. Your map starts well into the 1900s, my area started being built up hundreds of years before that. Shit my house is almost 100 years older, alone.

    My current small town has THREE, ffs, but no, this rail can only be used for freight, because reasons



  • His videos are why I got a heat pump water heater instead of a standard one when mine died. I figure in summer I can hook the exhaust duct up to my hvac and get a bit of free air conditioning out of it, since I don’t have AC yet. Tiny extra bonus piped straight to my bedroom.


  • I’ve been known to hatch praying mantis ootheca to have an army of predators to manage pest insects. Worked well for the most part, and preying mantids are very chill and neat

    But I haven’t gardened in a while so I’m not sure what I’ll need this year when I’ve rebuilt everything. Fortunately my chicken fence seems to finally have deterred deer (I live in town on a very small lot, but at separate times I’ve had a 12 point buck and several does just hang out in my yard all day) which was a major concern previously. I might put a fence around the raised beds to keep rabbits and such out, but only if I have to.

    I’m planning to replace a lot of bushes and things that are growing on my property now, to make my landscape largely edible, with the full understanding that wildlife will probably get to much of it before I do. I’m adding stuff like serviceberry just for them, they can have the grapes and apples I can’t reach, too.




  • I interviewed for one place where they asked about a “gap” (and yeah my resume is just full of gaps due to mostly working contracts, so oh well I’m used to those conversations). The one they were asking about was literally while I was in school, getting my degree. So I told her as much, thinking that would be the end of it per usual.

    But no, she followed up with “right, but didn’t you have a job while you were in college? Didn’t you DO anything?”

    Bitch, college WAS my fucking job, I took it seriously so I could graduate my STEM program with honors (as an unmedicated AuDHD). I was attending classes year-round, lived very frugally, and had GI Bill to cover it, so why would I work?

    She continued to press it after I gave her the interview-appropriate version of the paragraph above, I have no idea why. I concluded the interview with something like “I don’t want to work for a company that cares this much that I didn’t have a job when I was going to school full time, didn’t need one, and wanted to focus on furthering my career. Good luck finding someone with no self-respect, since that’s what you seem to be looking for.”




  • Sorry to not address the bulk of your comment, but overneath is a fascinating word, for someone interested in languages and the process of foreign language learning specifically. It’s entirely understandable, but not a real word as far as I can tell. I’m interested in being corrected here, for sure. Seems theres a company by that name but thats all I was able to find.

    Normally in this context you’d see overtop, overhanging, covering, above, over, something like that, but overneath makes total sense too, due to underneath and beneath being words with the widespread definition of under.

    I did find that ‘neath’ is a shortening of beneath which means under, and under obviously means under, so underneath is technically redundant and means “under under”. And overneath would actually mean over under, which is itself kinda fun, because of how understandable it was in context. :D










  • Apathy Tree@lemmy.dbzer0.comtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldMaturing
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    24 days ago

    Yeah, thats exactly what i want to avoid, things that are good enough that even without being addictive, i want them. I wont even grow poppies for poppy tea because I’m afraid i will become low-grade addicted to it as a result of simply not being in constant pain for a change (fucked up thing to consider, but true as someone with chronic pain). My mom made me promise to keep her oxy after she passed because it was much harder for me to get pain treatment than it should be, but it just made me throw up (same it did to her, but we assumed it was the cancer), so i gave it to a friend who needed it. I know myself and i -really- like escape. It used to be books, as a kid, but now its all sorts of things. Because i can.

    Mostly i want things with low addiction (physical or psychological) risk, ideally also somewhat beneficial, and no or very low chance of bad experience, because my brain does that anyway. Also kinda has to be fairly easy to get without a shady middle-man, because i don’t know people and buying shit on tor isn’t appealing to me at all. The hardest thing I’ve done was extacy cut with meth, and i listened to my druggy ex and boofed it (our slang for bum-hole administration, tho i learned later i should have shoved it in my vagina instead, thats way way better for drug absorption due to the sheer quantity of blood vessels and the moist environment, to the point that it used to he a common medical application in hospital). Honestly, i loved it, and would exist that way forever if i could. And thats the problem. I’m glad i don’t have easy access to it now. Id like to use it again in controlled therapy settings, as long as they’ve got some good beats and highlighters on hand. But as a result of using it, techno gives me anxiety now. Used to really love it. So even in mild ways the best of things can fuck with you.

    I don’t really struggle with drugs other than alcohol (and thats a weird one because i just fall out of use, same as weed, after months or years of heavy use), but thats mostly because i don’t use anything else particularly addictive because i don’t trust myself. Actually, because i know what I’d do. I seem to fall out of alcohol use when my mental state improves to the point i don’t need a crutch. But until then, its bad. Ngl. And weed just stops being fun periodically, so sometimes i take years-long breaks even though it’s good for my pain.

    Im super interested in drugs, though. Like genuinely id love to try them all with no risk. I used to read bluelight just to imagine how it felt. I want VR to work for me because that feels like a mild trip (makes me hella nauseated, so no dice until holodeck exists). If i ever go terminal, or get old enough to not care how much i fuck up my future, ill be doing all the drugs.

    Im glad you’ve come out the other end of it reasonably intact, sounds like :) And thank you for sharing your experiences with me, for my edification :) i genuinely appreciate it. If you want to share more, even about other substances, id be interested in reading it, to live vicariously through you :)