I have had students or known kids named Princess, King, and Legend.
Charleigh Brown.
Atilla Hunt.
Harley Quinn.
Their name just becomes the collection of phonemes you use to address them. It’s funny when you see it, then you don’t even think about it anymore.
Connect with the local Deaf community. There’s likely a Facebook group or something that you can browse (even without an account). Look at local community classes, college courses, or even free classes held at a church. Our local community has a bi-weekly silent dinner at the mall and other events that hearing and Deaf people attend. I started with a local community center class ($50 for 8 weeks or whatever) and then found everything else through the instructor. I usually screenshot the silent dinner dates from the Facebook group and then attend when I can.
I read the book Screentime Solution by Emily Cherkin (also Anxious Generation and Screen Schooled). Basically her advice is to be screen-intentional as a family. Right now my husband and I make an effort to put our phones away when we come home from work and spend time with each other and our toddler. Another thing is that she does not have any of her own internet devices. It’s the family tv and my iPad that she uses (with supervision and sparingly). We have a few devices she uses that are dumb (old gameboy and old iPod) but still rarely. Restaurants and family dinner are screen free zones. Even as she gets older we’re more likely to get a dumb phone and a family phone than let her have her own device. Something from the book was to let your kids have access to the internet and social media when you’re ready for them to see porn (not necessarily her opinion but an anecdote) and there’s no fool-proof parental controls. We are getting a family computer soon to teach her typing, using a mouse, and general computer skills but that will not be unsupervised or even internet connected most of the time. My goal is to teach her responsible use and to always have a line of communication open about it.
Just because a person doesn’t have a memory of a traumatic event doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect them. Kids can have lasting trauma effects even from things they were too young to remember.
I didn’t do the marriage thing because of love. I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that. I did it for the logistical stuff.
Buying a house.
Having a kid.
Combining finances.
Life insurance.
Health insurance.
While all of this could be possible without being married, it’s much easier to have a marriage certificate than to try to prove to everyone all the time that we’re partners. If my husband were in the hospital on life support, being next of kin would simplify so many things. My culture is designed in a way that traditional marriage shapes so many processes. There may be workarounds, but they’re not always simplified and most people may not know how to use them. That can take valuable time that you don’t always have.
My husband recently broke his foot (second time in 5 years). While at the doctor they discovered he has an extra bone in some parts of his leg, then they’re looking at things on the x-ray and asking if all these various parts hurt because apparently his leg is all kinds of fucked up from high school sports.
Our house is mostly mobile. We each have a laptop but it’s more for “bigger things” like filing taxes, booking a trip, designing something, and filling out forms. We have decided that we are getting a desktop within the next year, however. We have a toddler and it’s important to me that she is able to navigate a mouse and keyboard. I work in a school library and my lesson on using the catalog in 2nd grade begins with how to use a computer mouse because I have some of the only desktops that are left in the school. (I’ve even had grown-ass adults come in and try to touch the screen).
I have a soda stream and then several flavoring options. I have mio and other brands, then soda syrups, and cocktail mixers. That way I can control the amount of sweet. I personally don’t like the flavor of artificial sweeteners or stevia so I try to find ones that use real sugar and real fruit extract. There’s some with caffeine too.
When my sister was a toddler we went on a trip to the Grand Canyon. Immediately after arriving she started climbing over a small barrier that had a steep drop on the other side. Her harness stopped from what could’ve been a terrible accident.
We live out of town (8 hours away) so we visit for a week over Christmas every year. My in-laws live an hour away from my parents so we attempt to split the time as best as we can. We are not allowed to stay at my in-laws because we have a dog that isn’t friendly. My family is super understanding and has worked really hard to gain her trust. My in-laws refuse to do anything except talk bad about her and complain that we don’t visit enough.
The worst this year has been that my sister’s (24) boyfriend just broke up with her like 3 weeks ago (by dropping off her belongings and blocking her) so she’s going through it. She had a perfectly fine time for a day or two, went out with us, would have conversations, but then started locking herself in her room (she still lives with my parents). But there’s been a few uncalled for moments in my opinion, breakup or not, like telling my mom “I had a list for a reason” while opening presents because my mom got her something else she might like (especially since her entire list was hunting and fishing stuff, activities she did with her ex). Also my two year old was sobbing outside her locked door, begging to see her, and was ignored. We always do a sibling activity together (go out to a fancy restaurant, escape room, axe throwing) and this year she was hot and cold with it. We would discuss doing something and she wouldn’t say anything but only text us later that she was never planning on going. Finally last night I went off on her a bit. Told her I never get to see her and I wanted to go out and to spend some time with her. That I’m sorry she was having a shitty time but it wasn’t my fault.
I’ve never had a great time visiting for holidays but I’ve never been more excited to go home that I am this year.
I have had students or known kids named Princess, King, and Legend. Charleigh Brown. Atilla Hunt. Harley Quinn. Their name just becomes the collection of phonemes you use to address them. It’s funny when you see it, then you don’t even think about it anymore.