I fucking hate OCD, fucking shitass mental illness

When you tell people you have OCD they think your a neat freak or something. No! I live in near constant dread and anxiety from everything from "will eating this bread kill me?" to vile and disturbing shit that I don't feel comfortable sharing with to anyone other than a therapist. People don't understand. They don't see how it eats away at you. Doubting who you are or why you do the things you do, doubting what you know to be true, constantly second guessing yourself. It's absolute hell. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I'm not posting this for sympathy. More so curious if anyone can relate. Misery loves company I guess.