9mo ago

Do you ever have parts of your self that are really loud and annoying about your past actions? I’m curious to hear how it manifests for you

I kinda cringe at a text message I sent someone who I met on a dating app. After years of being away from that hellish landscape (my opinion because I’ve seen that many people on this site have met partners there), I’m just now noticing some of its darker and unfortunate sides.

Dating app rant sidebar

spoiler

A lot of these stem from my inexperience and the way in which this makes exploitation/manipulation much easier. I truly wouldn’t expect this from an app with fully grown adults, but I don’t know if there has ever been an invention that has allowed its users to be so extremely callous about playing with others’ feelings/emotions. Kinda sickening the more that you think about it. I think these behaviors have always existed of course, but I think that it’s the instant gratification factor of it all that makes it so harmful. I am so close to taking a vow of never returning no matter what and accepting my fate.

Christ yeah, I still remember exactly what I said and it was weird. I truly thought I had found “the one” simply because they were semi-attractive and liked a few of the same things I did with the same intensity. And didn’t mind receiving texts in paragraphs kinda in the same way this is written right now (that was a pretty big one tbh)

Because I thought they were “the one” I’ve kept her as a friend and slowly learned I did a ton of projecting. It’s really come to the point where one of the only reasons I continue with the friendship is because I don’t have many other friends really. Cue one of the other parts that always says I can never be pleased and echoes the sentiments of everyone who has repeatedly told me something similar. Call me a hater, difficult or always unhappy, but the one thing I truly can’t stand is being the friend who in addition to existing mostly on the side is poked here and there. It all comes back to the old idea of being in relationships that aren’t fulfilling because the only ones that have fulfilled me are dead and gone.