How To Become A ''Political Prisoner'' In Venezuela

Due to popular demand for a more documented approach on this topic, I went to bed last night and started to conceptualize how to tackle it, and I think the best way to synthesize it is to make a guide on how easy it is to become one.

But first, we gotta remember that some of the people in the Bolivarian Revolution were in fact political prisoners. Members of guerrillas, student leaders asking for more ''cupos'', as in spaces in universities to study, civil rights activists, lawyers, like the current Minister of Justice, Tarek William Saab and Cilia Flores, who many times defended these very people's rights, during the 4th Republic. Delcy and Jorge Rodriguez' father, Jorge, was tortured and killed during these years.

I'm bringing this into context because to every Latinamerican or comrade whose family has lived through dictatorship, knows what a fucking dictatorship is. So it always baffled me that these assholes would trivialize the concept in such a way, by calling the current state of affairs in Venezuela a ''dictatorship''. It is an insult tantamount to Holocaust Denial. There are still thousands of people who were disappeared in Venezuela whose bodies haven't been found, that were buried during the dictatorship of Marcos Pérez Jiménez and continued throughout the period of Punto Fijo that followed it, and was put to an end by Chávez in 1999 when he became President.

Now to the matter at hand. The right, as we know, has been pretty pissy for some years now. A lot of wah-wah, babyraging and tantrums. They've gotten louder, more centralized (this is important), and have applied dispersion as a tactic. What do I mean by dispersion? That they not only operate via their parties, but have NGO's, ''activists'', ''journalists'' (like our rambling Oakley bros and Mar-A-Lago masked ladies), and heavy social media saturation. This last word is key, you have to oversaturate to overcompensate for the perceived sense of persecution. This is your method to capture segments of the population and suspend them over an indefinite amount of time. Keep their emotions reeling, tell them like María Corina did, that she would ''reunite their broken families'', ''fix everything'', and other messianic poultices to maintain suspense. This methodology is what gives rise to the narrative of ''political prisoners''.

The reason I mentioned above that centralizing is important is because it gives ''One Narrative To Rule Over All'', and that narrative comes from the US. From the Freedumb Truckers in Canada, to the trucker protests in Brasil, to the pititas in Bolivia, to the current bullshit against our Iranian friends, to the HK riots, to Gen Z in Mexico and Nepal, to Euromaidan, to the Arab Spring, and so on and so forth sniff (sorry, those who caught that reference are probably laughing right now)...All of these may vary in minor respects due to contexts, but all followed the same Narrative. It doesn't have to be coherent, it just has to be consistent, and it has to maintain the dichotomy of ''West=Good, World=Bad''.

Now I want to pivot (thanks, Obama), to how you can become a political prisoner in 3 easy steps I'll lay out:

1-Join the main antagonist of the Sentai during that season, be it Acción Democrática, Primero Justicia, Voluntad Popular or Vente Venezuela. Be one of their ''activists'', promoters, speakers, celebs that support them, NGO's, etc. You know, put yourself out there for the escualidera to see you. Take pictures with the current leadership, like Juan Guaidó, Leopoldo López, Julio Borges, Carlos Vecchio, David Smolansky, Henry Ramos Allup, María Corina Machado, Edmundo González Urrutia, Henrique Capriles, and do some self-promotion, social networking, techbro meet and greets, that sorta thing.

2-Do some agitprop for your hogbase, give 'em steady supplies of suspense slop (1) through social media, call for treason, participate in guarimbas, organize ''comanditos'' (2), which were like little terror cells, basically, that María Corina had been building with Vente Venezuela, which was a tactic used by Voluntad Popular during Leopoldo López and Juan Guaidó's boss phases, do a little stealing, some corruption, burn some people ( yes, the opposition burned people during guarimbas) and eventually, the state will respond.

3-Once you get caught, the network I mentioned on Point 1 will kick into gear, along with your family. This is the fun part, because we're gonna have some show and tell in order to display how these videos work.

If you ever happen to be on Instagram or Facebook, and come across a feed that looks like this:

Or this:

And this:

Congratulations, you're looking at the hogmind of the escualidera. This is the shit they consume on a daily basis. This is what I meant by indefinite suspense. You can see some examples on the first pic of how these videos look. You stand with a piece of paper or put a cellphone camera to your face and try to talk seriously, saying: ''Liberen a Julito'', and then I go and look: ''Who the hell's Julito?''. Whoops, Julito was involved in some shit. They have 0 pictures of any wrongdoing by the state, only testimonies from family members, or other ''activists'', very much like the Uyghur genocide shit, following the same format, you know? We have a face of a supposed ''political prisoner'', who was not jailed for being rightwing, or belonging to a party, they were jailed for doing something wrong. This is not what a political prisoner is. And we should know, because we count many in our ranks. People who did much less than these clowns, and served or are serving, long ass sentences like Leonard Peltier, Oscar López Rivera, or Mumia Abu-Jamal. They've had their human rights violated in the largest prison system in the world.

But back on topic this picture:

Uses terms that are very common in this practice, like ''periodista'' (journalist), ''detenido injustamente'' (unjustly detained). They're always ''unjustly detained'' without ''arrest warrants''. The PNB (Policía Nacional Bolivariana) just woke up that day and charged into their home. These are not gringo cops or ICE. These guys get the equivalent to a bachelor's degree, like college level education, and learn about human rights, which are in the Constitution of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela, something I can't say about the US. I need to reiterate, the people in power right now in Venezuela know a thing or two about human rights. And we all know that narrative has crumbled, because it's not part of the asspulled charges against Maduro. But it has to be maintained for both psychological war on their own base, and disinformation war against Chavistas.

To conclude, I came across this image of El Capitán, Diosdado Cabello, whom everyone should be familiar with, since he's one of the most vilified people in media history. I'm not joking. This guy, if you listen to the escualidera, you think he's Satan himself, and he's one of the most wholesome and based comrades in Venezuela. He's been there since that rebellion back in 1994, when Chávez declared the famous: ''Por ahora''. But I found funny that people in the comments say they look scared, and then I look at the pic, and it's this?

It's the same with Maduro and Chávez, they just never understand that these guys are ''jodedores'', they like to fuck around, joke, be in a good mood. You can't watch a Nicolás Maduro or Diosdado Cabello speech without some jokes somewhere. Joy, Alegría, is an essential part of Chavismo, and it's the polar opposite on the Opposition side. It's all doom and gloom, anger, dark shit, calls for murder, for invasion, and then these are the people crying when they get caught. But they all get their 15mins of fame and get to play the part of a ''political prisoner'', a ''victim of the dictatorship''. I said near the beginning that trivializing dictatorships is akin to Holocaust Denial, because when you know what people went through, and it's all well documented, and ongoing, sometimes elucidated by a release of internal CIA docs, and then you see people with the gall to downplay these atrocities, while I see them walk out of the Helicoide or Rodeo unharmed, healthy, well dressed and clean, I can't believe it. They get treated with kid's gloves and continue on their shit. Some things just never change, comrades.

Well, thanks for reading and I hope this helps people better understand this narrative.

Hasta La Victoria Siempre!

(1) Edit: Suspense Slop has to be profitable, and that's how Venezuela Aid Live which was that stupid concert in the border of Táchira, in Cúcuta, Colombia, that was held during Juan Guaidó's coronation attempt back in 2019 came about. We've also had scams like ''Ya Casi Venezuela'' (Almost Venezuela, meaning that we're almost there, we're almost done with something) which I mentioned before that was organized by Ivan Simonovis and Erik Prince, and managed to scam a sizable amount of their own base, much like Milei did with his Libra bullshit. We've had campaigns like ''La Última Cola'' (The Last Line, as in the line to the supermarket, to get gas, etc.) during the 2015 National Assembly elections, where the opposition won a majority and began to attack everything in sight, including portraits of Simón Bolívar and led to the period of guarimbas. All these events have been designed not only to attack the Bolivarian Revolution, but to profit while doing so.

(2) The ''comanditos'' were supposed to be the rightwing's response to the UBCH (Ooh-Beh-Cheh). The ''Unidades de Batalla Hugo Chávez'' form one of the basic organizational methods in the territory. Almost every street in Venezuela has an UBCH, a group of people in the base of the PSUV, with radio (still used a lot in Venezuela), transport, emergency supplies, etc. They were mostly organized for activation during and after the last election, which was held in July 28, 2024. They were designed to cause unrest, burn down buildings and schools that were used for voting. Some of these people do not even form part of any political organization, they were just hirelings and goons elevated to ''political prisoners''.